Should kids take mental health days? Here’s what experts think.
One of the things that the pandemic has made abundantly clear: Children and teens are facing a mental health crisis and need support more than ever. Rates of anxiety and depression among children were already high before COVID struck, but then the pandemic added fuel to the fire, “dramatically” accelerating a decline in youth mental health, according to the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health.
Dr. Michael Enenbach, clinical director, associate medical director and senior child and adolescent psychiatrist at the Child Mind Institute, tells Yahoo Life: “We as a country have a long standing history of not equating mental health with physical health. It’s still the case. One benefit from COVID is recognizing it a little more, because it really took a toll on everyone — kids and adults.”
Along with working on improving access to mental health services, several states — including Oregon, Arizona, Utah, Kentucky, Maine and Virginia — are now allowing kids to take mental health days as an excused absence. And experts say it’s a good idea. “Taking a mental health day is important,” says Enenbach.
But experts emphasize that the point of taking a mental health day isn’t about avoiding school or spending the day zoning out in front of a screen. “It should be one day and you should do something to benefit your mental health,” says Enenbach.
So how can parents assess whether or not their child or teen needs to take a mental health day? And what activities should kids do — and avoid — on those days? Here’s what experts recommend.
What are the signs that a child or teen needs a mental health day?
It really comes down to parents staying attuned to their child or teen and how they’re actually doing in terms of handling a current stressful situation. “Some teens will be more forthcoming with information, but many are not,” Elizabeth Reichert, Stanford Medicine Children’s Health pediatric and adolescent psychologist and clinical associate professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences, tells Yahoo Life. “So it can be hard to keep a pulse on what a teen really needs.”
In general, good indicators that your child or teen could use a mental health day include if they’re “totally burnt out after preparing for a big project or test,” or “seeing your teen staying up much later doing school work than they used to or experiencing a lot more worry or stress about a project coming up,” she says. “Or if they experienced a really bad breakup or upheaval with friends or their social circle. Those are really great moments to check in.”
If a child or teen asks to take a mental health day, parents may need to act like a bit of a “detective,” says Reichert, to better understand why. “It creates an opportunity for connection with their child to understand what is going on,” she says. “Is it feeling overwhelmed with schoolwork? Or up all night [after] studying for a really big test? Or feeling sad?”
Enenbach agrees that having a conversation with your child to find out more before allowing a mental health day is important, including asking: “‘Tell me how you're feeling?’” he suggests. “‘What do you have planned for that day? Are there any major tests or assignments that day you might be missing?’”
As Reichert puts it, “It’s not that we want to send a message that every time you have a hard time with a friend you get a mental health day — it’s a dialogue and checking in. ‘Can you tell me more about what’s going on with school?’ ‘I’m sensing you may need a bit of a break — can I help you take one?’”
It’s also worth noting that some kids, particularly “very high achievers,” says Enenbach, may not want to take a mental health day — even when they need one. For kids who are anxious about missing school, another way to frame it is by suggesting they go in late one morning instead, says Reichert. “It’s structuring it so there’s a little bit of a break time, as opposed to the whole day,” she says. “Or maybe you just go to that one class you can’t miss, and the rest of your day is a mental health day.”
When shouldn’t a kid take a mental health day?
“That’s one of the trickiest areas to navigate,” notes Reichert. But she says that taking a mental health day is not a good choice “if a child is trying to avoid a big test or get out of something that’s making them feel anxious — that’s a very common situation. That’s a situation we wouldn’t want to grant a mental health day and [instead] support our child through that challenge.”
Reichert explains that the short-term solution of taking a mental health day to avoid a test or problem at school could make the situation “a lot worse” because they still have to eventually return to school. She also says it can teach kids “their parent agrees that they aren’t capable of handling it.” Instead, Reichert recommends focusing on ways parents can support their children through challenging situations.
In general, Enenbach recommends that parents make sure mental health days are used “effectively and appropriately,” adding: “Once you start taking several mental health days in a row, we’re talking school avoidance,” which should be addressed and may warrant speaking with your child’s teacher or principal and possibly a mental health professional.
If parents are noticing that their kids are feeling overwhelmed, seeking out a mental health professional can be helpful, notes Enenbach. “Kids are really stressed right now,” he says.
What should parents do — and not do — with their child or teen when they take a mental health day?
Experts agree that having a plan is an essential part of taking a mental health day. That’s because it can be “a bit of a slippery slope and can easily turn into not wanting to go back to school the next day,” says Reichert. “Before the mental health day is taken, there have to be some limits. What are we going to do that day? What is on the agenda or not on the agenda and [noting] that the expectation is that you will go back to school. How many mental health days do we want to take in a year?”
As far as activities go, the focus should be on recharging and recuperating — ideally, with a parent if they’re able to simultaneously take a break. That means avoiding the “pitfall” of allowing your child or teen to be on social media or in front of screens all day, says Reichert. It’s also not a time to catch up on schoolwork. “That is not what we consider a mental health day because that’s not recharging,” she says.
Instead, it’s about finding ways to engage in activities that can be “calming, soothing and enriching,” she says, “whether that’s taking a walk or engaging in arts and crafts or reading a book or listening to music or doing some yoga.”
However, for some kids, being physically active, such as going for a restorative run, is the best way for them to recuperate. Knowing your kid and what works for them is the point, Reichert says.
Above all, she says, mental health days are “an opportunity for kids to rest and recharge their batteries and de-stress.”
Wellness, parenting, body image and more: Get to know the who behind the hoo with Yahoo Life's newsletter. Sign up here.
