Khloé Kardashian Says Surrogacy Made Her Feel "Less Connected" to Her Son

"It felt like such a transactional experience."

Khloé Kardashian is opening up about the unspoken struggles of welcoming a baby via surrogacy.

On the season 3 premiere of The Kardashians, the new mom of two got candid with Scott Disick about how the experience was much more difficult for her than her older sister Kim, who had two children, Chicago, 5, and 3-year-old Psalm, through a surrogate.

"A surrogate process — Kim knows — is very hard for me. It’s a mindf—k. It is really the weirdest thing," she said, before admitting that she felt "less connected" to her newborn son because of the process. "People do say it takes a minute to feel connected but Kim said hers was easy. This is not easy.” In a confessional, Khloé added that perhaps the circumstances of the pregnancy (she learned her ex Tristan Thompson fathered a child with another woman weeks after their embryo transfer) caused her to bury her "head in the sand" to the point where she "didn't digest what was happening." 

"So I think when I went to the hospital that was the first time it really registered," she explained, clarifying: "It has nothing to do with the baby.”

Related: Khloé Kardashian Paired Her Totally See-Through Two-Piece Set With a Giant Metal Scarf

She continued, “I definitely was in a state of shock from my entire experience in general. I felt really guilty that this woman just had my baby and I take the baby and go to another room and you are separated. It felt like such a transactional experience because it is not about him. I wish someone was honest about surrogacy and the difference of it. But it doesn’t mean it is bad or good. It is just very different."

Kim reiterated the fact that Khloé found surrogacy to be a challenging experience. "She had a really hard time accepting the whole process. I do think that there is a difference when the baby is in your belly — it actually feels your real heart. Think about it. It touches your organs. There is no one else on this planet that will feel you from the inside like that," the mom of four explained. “People can connect in different ways and people can not connect.”

Elsewhere in the episode, the Good American founder finally revealed her and Thompson's baby boy's name: Tatum. And while she stuck with a "T" name to match her daughter's initials, Khloé confessed that "naming a human is really hard." 

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