The key to having a happier social life? Diversity. Here’s why

Mingling with people who differ from ourselves is good for us and good for society.
Mingling with people who differ from ourselves is good for us and good for society. | Adobe.com

The phrase “opposites attract” expands beyond romantic relationships and points to an idea that makes us happier. Mingling with people who differ from ourselves is good for us and good for society.

“Diversity” has become a term that most of us associate with skin color or ethnicity. But it’s so much more than that, including economic status, political affiliation, religion and personality.

Why is diversity important?

Being exposed to the diversity of thought and feeling can increase our own capacity to thrive, even if it’s not always our first instinct.

Arthur Brooks, host of the “How to Build a Happy Life” podcast, wrote in The Atlantic that we as humans have what is called a “homophily bias,” or a preference to be with people similar to ourselves.

Rooted in evolution, we tend to to socialize with people who share our age, attitude, race, education level, job, and/or gender, because that’s what allowed us to be safe in groups. Today, it lowers our energy expenditure by not having to “deal with other people.”

But, it’s also a no-brainer that we as social creatures need interaction and social stimulus to survive. For example, among employees burnout and quiet quitting are more likely to occur if there isn’t socialization happening in the workplace, as Deseret News reported.

Having diversity in our social connections, is like the next step up, as it can be beneficial for our future success and help us thrive, as reported by The New York Times.

In a study published in Nature in 2022, an analysis of 72 million Facebook friendships found that the more interconnected the rich and poor were in a neighborhood, the more success the children in the neighborhood (both poor and rich) had later in life.

The social connectedness between the two groups, seemingly opposites, was more important for child success than school quality, family structure, job availability or the community’s racial composition, per the Times.

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How to make and find friends

Talk to strangers: Though it may seem like an unpleasant way to spend a train or bus ride, Brooks suggests that talking to strangers is not as bad as we make it out to be and can be the most effective way to make friends from all different backgrounds.

In an experiment where one group talked to strangers and another didn’t. The Atlantic reported that the ones who did talk to strangers said it wasn’t as bad as they thought and most actually enjoyed it.

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Listen: Perhaps the most profound way to find people who differ from you is to seek them out through listening. As you talk to people, observe the way they think and what makes them, well, them.

“It can help to imagine that you are a social scientist doing research,” Brooks wrote. “Seek out people with whom you’re likely to disagree, and solicit their views in a friendly way. Your goal should be to understand them deeply — you might offer alternative views, but you don’t want to contaminate your work by seeming combative.”