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Kelly Ripa’s new book details the time she passed out during sex with husband Mark Consuelos and woke up in the E.R.
It also explains the hilarious (and embarrassing) outfit Consuelos dressed her in for the trip.
Ripa later learned she had two ruptured ovarian cysts.
Kelly Ripa’s upcoming memoir, Live Wire: Long-Winded Short Stories (out September 27), is full of hilarious essays about her life—including the time she passed out during sex with husband Mark Consuelos and woke up in the emergency room.
Haute Living got an excerpt of the passage for an interview with Ripa, and as the story goes, upon coming to, she didn’t know what to be more concerned about—the fact that she had two ruptured ovarian cysts or that, amidst her unconsciousness, Consuelos dressed her in a 1980s-style French-cut leotard and red “f*ck me” Manolo Blahnik pumps. Truly, you can’t make this stuff up.
“It’s still baffling to me to this day that this is the best costume for the day that he could find for me,” she writes, “to the point where, when I was on the stretcher, I thought I was dreaming; I was having a nightmare. I didn’t realize I had come to.”
Back to her diagnosis—Ripa was made aware that she had two pairs of ovarian cysts, and two had burst. When she woke up in the hospital room, she looked over to find Consuelos—whom she’d married just a year prior—munching on Saltines and drinking apple juice.
“My eyes shift between the fuzzy images on the screen, the remnants of my ovarian tormentor, and Mark happily snacking away. Sex can be so traumatic I think, and yet one of us is completely undaunted,” she recounts. “Instead, I’m flat on my back wondering when the other two cysts will burst.” (Little did she know, years later, she’d be lamenting his inability to take a proper thirst trap, but no marriage is perfect, right?)
According to the Mayo Clinic, ovarian cysts are common, and often benign. However, if they rupture, they can create serious problems, including severe pain and bleeding inside the pelvis. Signs that something is wrong include pain with fever and vomiting, pressure in the abdomen, bloating, and in Ripa’s case, passing out. The Mayo Clinic also says that vigorous activity affecting the pelvis, including vaginal sex, does increase the risk of rupture.
Thankfully, Ripa and Consuelos made it past that health scare (and fashion nightmare), and are currently happy empty nesters after raising their three kids, Michael, 25, Joaquin, 19, and Lola, 21. Although, she was admittedly worried that such a huge shift could threaten their relationship.
“It was one of the great turning points of our lives, and I thought to myself, ‘Oh sh*t, we’re going to be that couple that it ends as soon as the kids are out of the house,’” she told Haute Living. “I don’t know why one argument led me to believe that, but I do tend to have a flair for the dramatic. Plus, men and women argue differently. For him, a passing argument is no big deal, but for me, it’s like, ‘Well, I guess I have to call the divorce attorney.’ He’s like, ‘Um, what? Are you okay?’”
According to her, the occasional bicker keeps their marriage fresh after 26 years, and in the end, they’re always each other’s biggest cheerleaders. “We’re literally two people pushing each other up the hill as opposed to one trying to climb up the other one to get up the hill,” Ripa said. “We’re a team.”
Catch her on her Live Wire book tour beginning September 28.
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