What Is JOMO? Why Southerners Love The Joy Of Missing Out

Forget FOMO. The joy of missing out is a concept that isn’t lost on us.

Southern culture is one that embraces fellowship. Whether it’s a neighborhood get-together, Sunday supper, or a church potluck, we tend to be crowd dwellers that subscribe to a “more the merrier” mentality. With such social roots, it stands to reason Southerners are likely to suffer from the malady of FOMO (the fear of missing out) more than most, but with a lifetime spent in the South, I have found that to be far from the truth. Instead, I find Southerners are a breed far more inclined to celebrate JOMO, or the joy of missing out, instead.

What Is JOMO?

But, before we get too far, it’s important to make the distinction between FOMO and enjoying the company of others. While the latter seems to be an admirable quality (these types tend to be the hosts who immediately put guests at ease, those who are always ready to open their doors, and have a way with words), the former doesn’t always share such a favorable description. While there are plenty of people who never want to miss a party and, therefore, could accurately take that FOMO badge and wear it with honor, the descriptor can, on occasion, have more negative connotations.

I’ve heard “fear of missing out” used as an umbrella term for a variety of situations in which comparisons and maybe even a smidgen of jealousy might come to play. It’s social media’s version of keeping up with the Joneses and it seems to be nearing epidemic levels thanks to the access we have to other’s lives in this digital age. But I think the root of why many Southerners have seemingly avoided this plague of comparison is that so many have focused on carving out a life they enjoy living.

When you create a home you love, a circle of trusted friends you care about and support, and are part of a family where connections are cherished, there’s not much left to have FOMO about. Why go out when you can stay in? Why scroll aimlessly when you can soak in the friends and family gathered around you, knowing this is the true highlight real? I think Southerners have nailed this one, not through purposely trying to avoid the dreaded FOMO but, instead, by just being who they are naturally: social creatures who don’t do it for the ‘gram, as we “old” millennials like to say (don’t @me).

How To Embrace JOMO

If you want to me more intentional about embracing the joy of missing out, and not just avoiding the fear of missing out, try these slow-down strategies.

1. Put Your Phone on Do Not Disturb Mode

With all our technological advances, there have also come a few that can actually help us disconnect. Case in point: do not disturb mode. Turn it on when you get home for the night, turn it on when you need a break, turn it on when you simply find yourself checking every few minutes to see what conversations, calls, or posts you’ve missed. You can also similarly be more aware of simply putting your phone down when you come in for the evening. Putting it on a charger out of earshot so it’s not pulling you back with any errant dinging or ringing can be transformative in creating a new evening routine.

2. Be Okay with Silence

Sitting in silence is something I struggle with. Turning off the noise might mean being okay with a lull in conversation, going to sleep without the sound of a tv, sound machine, or other audio solution for quieting the thoughts, or even simply trying to minimize the chatter of social media. Creating a more “quiet” environment can be uncomfortable at first, but just might be the JOMO solution you’re after.

3. Get Comfortable with the Polite Decline

There’s nothing wrong with saying no, politely, of course. But why does it always manage to come with a side of guilt? We may never know the answer, though it might just have to be one more uncomfortable thing we have to learn to get comfortable with. Politely declining for any reason can be a good way to recharge and refocus. When the world feels like it’s starting to spin too fast or you’re in need of some you time, there’s nothing like a good day or night in. You can go ahead and use Grandma’s “I’m staying in to wash my hair” excuse, too.

4. Prioritize In-Person Connections

Focusing on being okay with missing out, doesn’t mean sacrificing in-person connections—in fact, I think it’s quite the opposite. Taking time to nurture relationships, settle in with a good conversation, or catch up with someone you haven’t seen in a while are all natural prescriptions for combatting FOMO and ensuring you find joy in missing the small stuff in favor of the big stuff.

Related: 23 Southern Traditions We Want to Bring Back—And You Will Too

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