John Stamos Recalls the Time He Found His Ex-Girlfriend in Bed With Tony Danza

John Stamos details a painful episode in his upcoming memoir, If You Would Have Told Me (out Oct. 24) in which he discovered his former girlfriend in bed with Tony Danza.

The Full House star recalled a time in the late 1980s when he was dating model Teri Copley, who was “everything I’m looking for in a woman” at the time, according to Stamos in an excerpt published by Entertainment Weekly. He was “dumbstruck and goofy in love” with Copley, who had a young daughter that Stamos was growing attached to. Just as he was beginning to see a long-term future as a family, Copley’s behavior towards him changed.

"I call her from the road, but the girl who breathlessly picked up the phone after one ring is now giving me busy signals and dial tones," he wrote. "When I get home, I call her throughout the day and into the evening. No response. Strange. We've gone from talking on the phone every few hours to silence."

After a few days, Stamos eventually went to Copley’s house to investigate. He found “no lights on [and] no movement behind the windows,” but an unfamiliar Porsche Speedster in the driveway.

“I shuffle to the car with my stomach sinking and take a quick look inside," Stamos recalled. "There's a hairbrush, keys, boxing gloves, and a half-unrolled poster of my girlfriend, naked, barely covered by a white sheet. Half of her butt is showing. I've never seen this poster before."

At this point, Stamos tried both the front and back doors but found them locked. He then made his way to the guest house, which was wide open.

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"I take a peek inside and see four feet protruding from the shabby-chic, floral-print duvet that once kept me warm. My Tiny Dancer is in bed with Mr. Porsche Speedster. They are sleeping. I can't tell who he is, but I recognize Teri's ass barely covered by the sheets. It looks like her new poster."

He continued: "Time slows until I'm frozen. I can't breathe. A few tears roll down my face, and it pisses me off. They snap me out of my daze, and I feel angry and confused. I could explode."

Stamos was unsure how he should deal with the situation. "Do I pull him out of the bed by his hair, kick him in the nuts, and beat his ass?" he asked himself. "She's my girlfriend. Who is this piece of shit? He looks familiar. Content bastard. He rolls over, exposing his ripped abs and muscular body."

In the end, Stamos decided to “run like hell,” but did stop to steal the half-naked poster of Copley from the Speedster’s front seat. On it, written in Copley’s handwriting, was an inscription: “My Dear Tony, I'll love you forever. XO, Teri.”

"Tony? Who the hell is Tony?" Stamos wondered at the time.

On the way home, listening to Elton John’s “Tiny Dancer,” the mystery man’s name hit him like a brick. "Hold me closer, Tony Danza," Stamos wrote.

The story does have a somewhat happy ending, though. Stamos credits the success of Danza’s family sitcom Who’s the Boss for launching Full House, the show which gave Stamos his fame. Danza’s show, in which he played an actor moonlighting as a housekeeper, premiered three years before Full House, in which Stamos played a similar exterminator-slash-rocker.

If You Would Have Told Me hits shelves on October 24, and is currently available for pre-order.