John Leguizamo says therapy 'totally turned my life around': 'It helped me meet up with my demons so they wouldn't take over'

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Growing up, John Leguizamo aspired to be a performer, but it was challenging to envision the successful career he would go on to create for himself. “I just didn’t believe in myself, I didn’t believe that it was possible,” the Emmy Award-winning actor, writer, producer, filmmaker and activist tells Yahoo Life. “I didn’t believe that, as a Latin man, that I could do that — because of what I saw in the media, where we were in the business, completely invisible and erased. So, I acted out a lot.”

Leguizamo’s experience inspired him to perform his one-man Broadway show, Ghetto Klown, at Rikers Island Correctional Facility for an audience of over 400 inmates. The performance as well as intimate group discussions with young men enrolled in Getting Out and Staying Out (GOSO), an anti-recidivism program, are featured in his new documentary, John Leguizamo Live at Rikers.

“I’ve known for years that the largest population in prisons are Latinos and Black young men,” says Leguizamo, who has been on the board of GOSO for a decade. “I felt like I could have made those mistakes early in my youth. So I teach [inmates at Rikers] how to do one-man shows and [offer] acting classes, and they perform, and they do great, and people fall in love with them. I fall in love with them. They are just like everybody else’s son, brother, cousin, and they made a mistake. And the prison system shouldn’t be about punishment. It should be about rehabilitation, teaching them how to educate themselves, how to teach them skills that they can use when they get out and give them a different opportunity in life.”

While working with GOSO, Leguizamo couldn’t help but note that the inmates were missing out on enjoying live performances. “Nobody comes to Rikers to perform for them,” he says. “And I thought, what an amazing connection I could make with them by performing my show. I felt it would be the best show for them, because it’s about my life and how close I came to being in trouble. And I thought it might be inspiring, or they could relate to it.”

Looking back at that time in his life, Leguizamo describes himself as a “problem child and black sheep of the family.” But feeling supported by several people in his life made all the difference. “When you’re from the ’hood and you come from difficult circumstances, you have to have somebody put their hand on your shoulder and go, ‘You’re worthwhile, you’re worth it. You have value to add,’” says the Encanto star. “And I had people like that. I had my math teacher. I had a lot of mentorship programs. And my parents worked really hard and fought really hard for me. And I think that’s what saved me.”

Therapy has also been instrumental for Leguizamo since he was a teen. “I was about to be expelled in high school, because I was disruptive,” he remembers. “And they made me go to therapy, and I fought really hard against it, but it saved my life. I was in therapy since I was 17 years old, and it totally turned my life around. It helped me meet up with my demons so they wouldn’t take over, and I would take all that negativity and turn it into constructiveness.”

Despite the stigma around therapy — “especially in the Latin community, because [therapy is associated with the idea that] you’re crazy” — the Moulin Rouge star came to embrace the idea that it’s “just mental health.” He adds, “It’s like going to the gym. You gotta work on yourself. I work on myself 24/7. That’s how I stay mentally healthy.”

As an entertainer, Leguizamo has also leaned on therapy to address performance anxiety that hit ahead of performing his act or appearing on talk shows. “I would be paralyzed,” says the comedian. “I couldn’t find my voice. You get into this perfection mode that you have to be so great, and you have to be so special. I stopped wanting to perform. I think maybe a lot of performers go through that. But [it definitely helped] having a therapist and being able to tease it out and work it out and [realize that] those negative voices in your head that you think are real [are] not real. They’re just you putting yourself down, because you heard that growing up.”

The actor, who also appeared in the 2022 film The Menu, has found that he benefits too from a range of other well-being practices. “I meditate a lot, [say] positive affirmations, single out negative affirmations, surround myself with great people around me who want the best for me,” he shares. “I think that’s really important. I have a lot of high school friends who are near and dear to me who keep me going.”

The bonds he shares with his immediate and extended family are “huge” as well. “I have a lovely family,” says Leguizamo. “You know Latin families, we’re all so tight. And you can’t be without each other. We have to bring each other everywhere we go. All 30 of us have to go to every premiere. All 30 of us have to have Thanksgiving. But there’s so much joy. There’s so much healing, so much support. They boost me.”

Leguizamo is so passionate about centering mental health that it’s something he’s made a point to pass on to his kids, daughter Allegra, 24, and son Lucas, 23, whom he shares with wife Justine Maurer. He has been meditating and doing creative visualization and relaxation techniques with them since they were “tiny little kids.”

“And my wife and I are really good at being able to talk about things,” he notes. “My kids are very comfortable coming to us to talk. You have to try to be nonjudgmental. You have to work on that hard with your kids, because [otherwise] you close yourself off to them, and they won’t come to you in times of need.”

The proud dad has also been candid with his kids about benefiting from therapy. “I tell them therapy’s the most important thing in the world, and my kids have gone to therapy, and I think they still are in therapy,” he says. “I destigmatize it for them.”

That’s just one way in which the activist is fired up to continue to spread the word about the importance of self-work, particularly for the Latin community. “I tell everybody, as Latin people, we need therapy,” says Leguizamo. “We face a lot of oppression, suppression, microaggressions and macroaggressions on a daily basis. We need extra help. We need ways of healing ourselves, of strengthening ourselves.”

John Leguizamo Live At Rikers is available now exclusively on Black Experience on Xfinity and Xumo.