Jennifer Lawrence Really Needs to Hire ANTM’s Miss J. Alexander

Lauren Tuck
·News Editor

Jennifer Lawrence seems to have relatively healthy hygiene habits—but still, I fear there may be something ailing her. The poor girl can’t seem to stand on her own two feet without toppling over.

Is she anemic? Is that why she’s always falling down on red carpets? Does she have low blood sugar? Are these trips and falls really just faints? I ask these questions (and please take no offense if you happen to suffer from one of these conditions, my intention is not to trivialize your pain) because you’d think that someone from the movie star’s camp would’ve hired a walking coach after she fell the first time. She’s on her fourth—and those are just the ones caught on camera.

On the red carpet at the Madrid premiere of The Hunger Games: Mockingjay: Part 2, the actress took a tumble. And her fall wasn’t one of those fake, cute ones where no one gets hurt and it’s planned for the paparazzi. This one saw the star wobble, seemingly catch her balance, then tip backwards and fall on her butt despite the efforts of multiple security guards to catch her.

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Jennifer Lawrence in a black and lace gown at the Madrid, Spain, premiere of her new film. Photo: AP

If she’s not ill, then maybe it’s the dresses she wears. Are the trains too much of a hazard? Get this girl a mini, stat! Her new stylists should learn from Rachel Zoe’s mistakes: never send a klutz to the Oscars in a gown with a voluminous train. The nominee will win and she will do the nearly impossible and fall up the stairs.

Someone please call Miss J. Alexander, the America’s Next Top Model walking master, to coach J. Law. They can bond over their shared first initial, and Lawrence can learn how to stay on her own two feet. Alternatively, she could shirk the ridiculous fashion standards held to celebrities on press tours entitrely, and just show up in her pajamas without shoes like Woody Harrelson.

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