Janie Slaven: THE PREACHER'S DAUGHTER: I'm not a ballerina

Janie Slaven, The Times-Tribune, Corbin, Ky.
·2 min read

May 22—I have been known to be judgmental. I will fully own that.

All of my life I've been afraid of women. They intimidate me. They are prettier, stronger, more talented than me.

I developed a coping mechanism from an early age that if I could make fun of myself first, then maybe those women around me who intimidated me couldn't harm me mentally. I'm 39 years old and I still do this.

A few months ago our school staff were presented a free trial from a local fitness studio. My immediate reaction was, thanks but no thanks.

I had this false judgmental notion that only gorgeous and fit women worked out there. How in God's name could an uncoordinated, perimenopausal, barren school teacher with a podunk accent hang in such an environment?

I was terrified.

A colleague of mine, whose 10 years my junior insisted I go. I let my guard down, and I agreed to go. Mind you I struggled a good hour prior to our workout about what I was going to wear.

God humbled me after that workout class. I needed it. He has a funny way of doing that when you're too prideful to admit you're wrong, and I was.

All sorts or women showed up for that class. Some were older than me, some were younger. Some were experienced, some weren't. Some had different physical abilities. All of them however were kind. Every last one of them.

I drove home sweaty and I cried. I cried somewhat from exhaustion, but mostly from remorse. In a world where women are pitted against one another, it doesn't always have to be that way.

That first class was almost three months ago. My leggings are hanging in the laundry room, and my sticky socks are packed in the car.

I have made friends in a place I just knew wouldn't accept a hillbilly, who overshares, and has cellulite, but it's quite the opposite. I show up and give it my all, and they clap and tell me to keep coming back.

They are supportive.

They are genuine.

I'm not a ballerina, but barre has made me better. There's a million cliche quotes about being an empowered woman, and some of them are meaningful. When you see the magic happen, that empowerment in real time, it's pretty fantastic.

Erinn Williams is originally from Williamsburg, and now resides in Owensboro, Ky. The daughter of a teacher and a preacher, she hopes to make a difference through her words. She serves as an elementary educator in Daviess County, and writes for Owensboro Parent magazine in Western Kentucky. She can be contacted at erinn.williams2017@gmail.com.