Janie Slaven: THE PREACHER'S DAUGHTER: Even if He doesn't

Janie Slaven, The Times-Tribune, Corbin, Ky.
·2 min read

May 15—They gave me a rose at church today. I sure appreciated it.

Today isn't my favorite. Despite that fact, I colored "#1 Mom" cards with a group of little people at church this morning. We talked about how important it is to honor our parents, and show love to them, especially on days like today.

I sat anxious, waiting on the dreaded question, I was thankful no one asked. "Do you have kids?"

I spent the majority of the day outside with the stray cat who sleeps on our porch. It's the little things that bring me a lot of joy, like scratching a skinny Tom cat who likes to fight behind the ears. My husband and I went for a drive. The weather was perfect. I called my Mom, I'm thankful I have the means to still do that. It always good to hear her voice.

This house is quiet. It's still. I used to grieve that privately, now there's an overwhelming sense of peace that comes with acceptance. People often tell me that "God has a plan." I've learned to still glorify him even if he doesn't.

I thank God that I'm healthy and strong, despite never physically carrying a child in my womb. I thank God for seasons of hope, when I named a brown eyed baby and held her, failing to adopt. I thank God for the laughter I hear from our neighbors grands. I thank God for his provision in my life allowing me to teach children everyday. I thank God for our precious nieces and nephew.

Despite heartache, joy, grief, anger, and solitude. I thank God for his will in my life.

So as another Mother's Day evening settles in, I sit in the silence of this house. I'm not afraid of the future. God has never once let me down.

I'm a blessed woman. I don't have time for self pity. I've got a pretty rose on my kitchen table and I have purpose.

God is good, he is always good, even if it seems like he doesn't have a plan.

Erinn Williams is originally from Williamsburg, and now resides in Owensboro, Ky. The daughter of a teacher and a preacher, she hopes to make a difference through her words. She serves as an elementary educator in Daviess County, and writes for Owensboro Parent magazine in Western Kentucky. She can be contacted at erinn.williams2017@gmail.com.