So you interviewed for a job and got ghosted — here’s what to do next

Silhouette behind a computer disappearing and dropping its headphones
Silhouette behind a computer disappearing and dropping its headphones

In the winter of 2021, Nick interviewed with the head of a department at a large publishing house. He thought the conversation went well and was encouraged that a department head took the time to conduct the interview personally. Nick, who declined to give his last name, thought that, at the very least, he would receive a formal rejection letter. But what he really wanted was the job.

As it turned out, he got neither. Nick never heard from the company again. He followed up numerous times and received no replies. He says the experience left him feeling disempowered and frustrated. While people were leaving their jobs in droves, creating a narrative that “nobody wants to work,” Nick was doing his best to take the initiative and join the labor market.

Months later, he learned the job posting had closed.

“You have so much hope after an interview, especially if it goes well,” Nick says. “Being ghosted after that feels way worse than being ghosted after a first date. I don’t need a boyfriend to survive, but I definitely need a job.”

Nick’s experience is part of a growing problem for both job-seekers and HR professionals. Kim Valent, a client solutions manager at the recruitment firm Vaco, says in her 28 years helping companies hire new employees, she’s never seen so much activity in hiring. While ghosting has always existed, it’s been “amplified” and ultimately reflects how quickly things are moving to hire folks.

“Recruiters are really busy right now,” she says. “They're overwhelmed with the volume of applicants coming to them or the sourcing that they're doing. If you're a recruiter, you've got to dedicate time on your calendar to make sure that you're following up with candidates.”

On the recruiter side of things, Valent says that those hiring should be careful not to ghost. Even if the applicant isn’t the right fit for the position, they may be right for another job in the future.

But what should frustrated job applicants do?

Here’s a guide to keeping your cool when you feel like you’re getting ghosted by a recruiter or hiring manager:

Ask questions about the timeline

Samorn Selim, the CEO of Career Unicorns, suggests asking the interviewer about next steps at the end of your meeting to set expectations about how things will unfold. Ask when you should expect to hear back from them and mark it in your calendar — that will help if you need to follow up down the road.

“You should always ask, ‘I'm curious to know what's the next step in the process and [when] you're expecting to get back to candidates?” So, you can at least have a timeline,” she says.

Don’t take silence too personally

Searching for jobs is an emotional experience. It can feel like a rollercoaster with all its twists and turns. But Selim urges job-seekers not to take anything too personally. If you’re getting ghosted by a recruiter, try considering what’s happening on the other end. Selim says recruiters often call up to 100 potential candidates a day. So even though it might seem rude, they may not have the resources to give every candidate their full attention. Additionally, she says recruiters may be unsure of the status of an application because companies can change their minds about who or what they’re looking for.

And sometimes, Selim adds, “people just feel bad giving bad news” and so may avoid sending a formal rejection.

While larger companies might have databases full of applicants, smaller start-ups are often more disorganized because they are relying on people manually running their hiring processes.

Candidates, on the other hand, should measure their expectations as companies catch up.

Follow up

Selim says that following up is a preemptive tactic that can help you not get ghosted.  But what’s the proper etiquette for following up? And how do you draw the line between being persistent and aggressive?

Selim recommends that following your interview, you should send an email expressing your gratitude.

Though you can find plenty of thank-you note templates available online, you should try to make it as specific as possible by detailing what you enjoyed learning about from your interview.

If you don’t hear back, Selim says that she tells applicants to follow what she calls the “rule of threes.” Follow up once after the interview and then a week later if you don’t receive a reply. If another week goes by and you still have not received any feedback, you can send one more follow-up message.

“If after three times they've not responded, it probably means that you're not going to hear back,” she says.

Tell other applicants

Instead of voicing your anger on social media, you can take appropriate avenues. Always remember that while one particular job may not work out, it’s not worth burning bridges with other people and leaving a bad impression on social media.

Job search strategist Erika Klics says people frustrated about being ghosted should visit the job-rating site Glassdoor and leave a review about their experience.

“Bad Glassdoor reviews tend to get the attention of leadership, which is often the only way to make real change in a company's recruiting culture,” she says.

Grieve first, then move on

When you don’t get a job, you’re dealing with the loss of a potential path forward. You may be relying on this job for financial reasons, or you are currently at a job but feel like you’re stalling. And when you get ghosted, you don’t get closure about what exactly went wrong. However, with time, you eventually will move past it.

“Part of the job-search process is you're going to face a lot of rejection, and so again, don't take it personally,” Selim says.

In addition to trying to control your reactions, avoid putting all your eggs into one basket.

Selim says that you shouldn’t stop applying for jobs until you’ve signed the contract for your new position because anything can happen.

Ultimately, she says that on top of managing your own reactions and expectations, you should work on keeping track of the things you’ve promised potential employers, like a writing sample or application components.

“If you are a candidate, you can only control what your behavior is and to make sure that you remain professional and that you don't ghost people,” she says.

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