I'm Physically Unable To Stop Laughing At These 20 Internet Geniuses Who Totally, Completely, 100% Nailed Their Responses Last Week

1.On parents:

Person asks what's a gender-neutral term for a parent

2.On lollipops:

Lollipops are so weird because you flavor your own spit then drink it

3.On turning 30:

What do you do on weekends when you're unmarried, childless, and approaching 30?

4.On British cuisine:

Someone says British cuisine is the best in the world and shows a bowl of food with peas that, someone says, "look like someone melted the toy solders from Toy Story"

5.On accidents:

Someone says you could answer almost anything with "not since the accident," and when someone says "Actually you can't," they respond with "Not since the accident""

6.On mirrors:

Someone shows how mirrors are made, and someone says that making mirrors is a job I could see myself doing

7.On paper:

Someone found out the difference between wax paper and parchment paper by using one in the oven and it turned into fire

8.On sinks:

People are freaked out by those American "sinks that you can destroy stuff with"

9.On renovations:


10.On forgiveness:

Person recommends turning "Sorry" communications into "Thank you," and person responds with "Thank you for your loss"

11.On burgers:

Person says they order 20 burgers at a time from DoorDash to save on delivery costs, and person asks if they understand how food poisoning works

12.On language:

People blend idioms, like "It's not rocket surgery," "We'll burn that bridge when we get to it," and "Until the cows freeze over"

13.On tomatoes:

Researchers use a technique to turn on tomato gene to produce capsaicinoids and grow spicy tomatoes, and someone responds that the tomatoes chose nonviolence, but the researchers just had to push them

14.On crushes:

What screams, "I have a crush on you?" Answer: A hydraulic press

15.On conversation:

Person asks "How the hell do I talk to people?" and someone responds, "Stand in front of them and press A"

16.On breathing:

Person complains about not being to hold their breath for long in a video game, and when someone asks if they're a frog or turtle, they say a saxophone player, and someone says "Same thing"

17.On immortality:

Person says it's good we die because otherwise you'd be remembering all the embarrassing things you did in 2,000 years, and someone describes a regretful anecdote from a vampire

18.On gaming:

Person describes a customer who "finished Candy Crush" found out there are only  around 4,000 levels

19.On locations:

A cat sitting in an attic, with caption "Me when I'm in an area"

20.And on skeletons:

In 1930 someone created a way for police to use a skeleton with glow red eyes to question suspects and then record the confessions through a camera hidden in the skull, and someone says "Confess your sins to the crime skeleton"