‘I'm not alone’: Annual Iowa Safe Schools event creates safe space for young LGBTQ Iowans

Iowa Safe Schools' annual LGBTQ youth event took place Friday, welcoming more than 800 students, educators and families from across the state to the Meadow Events & Conference Center in Altoona.

The event fell just days after the 15th anniversary of Varnum v. Brien, a 2009 Iowa Supreme Court case which led to the legalization of same-sex marriage and Trans Visibility Day.

Since 2005, the all-day affair known as the Governor's Conference on LGBTQ Youth serves as a way to celebrate and empower students as well as equip them and other allies with various resources, workshops and activities. It's about creating a safe space for young people, community members and advocates to "show their pride" and learn how to better support their communities, said Damian Thompson, director of external affairs at Iowa Safe Schools, the largest organization in the Midwest serving LGBTQ youth.

From making zines and buttons to learning about mental health services, the conference was lined with members of nonprofit, medical, faith and higher education organizations, ready to answer questions and share information. Their tables were piled with handouts, business cards and other items such as pride bracelets, pins and condoms.

"It's really a holistic event targeted towards every issue, or concern, or something that an LGBTQ student in Iowa might have on their mind," Thompson said.

Thompson and Iowa Safe Schools Executive Director Becky Tayler led fireside-like chats with keynote speakers Mercury Stardust and Montana state Rep. Zooey Zephyr.

Here's a rundown of the event:

Stardust, Zephyr build careers on speaking up

Stardust and Zephyr traded personal stories and advice with Iowa Safe Schools' Damian Thompson and Becky Tayler on the center's stage. For about an hour, Stardust and Zephyr — whose appearances bookended the event — spoke candidly about how they became the people they are today.

Stardust is a Wisconsin native, Zephyr from Montana. Stardust is a TikTok star who rose to prominence for her home repair tutorials. Zephyr is Montana's first openly transgender lawmaker who made national headlines last May after being barred from speaking on the chamber floor. Zephyr had told opponents of legislation on banning gender-affirming care that they would have "blood" on their hands.

"It turns out that sort of marriage of prayer and guilt did not go over well," she said to Thompson and the crowd.

Zephyr, in conversation with Thompson, recalled difficult moments after the incident, as well as opened up about what it means to her to be a lawmaker.

"Representation obviously matters," she said. "And I know it sounds like an easy catchphrase to say … but really, it changes the way we have the conversation."

Stardust also shared with audience members the purpose of her social media platform.

"I am famous because I wanted to help someone online, and I helped somebody," she said, adding she built her platform on that mission alone and came away with a large following, or rather a community.

"I didn't get famous because I was really good at putting lipstick on or really good at dancing — and there's nothing wrong with those things," she continued. "That's wonderful. That's beautiful, right? But rarely do have we ever had the opportunity for purity of like just being radical and queer. And it just happens to be someone who can fix something."

Youth say event makes them feel seen, less 'alone'

Peter McCann woke up at 5 a.m. Friday morning just to get ready for the conference. McCann, a senior at Roosevelt High School, said he promised his peers he would attend the event in drag. The 18-year-old took more than two hours to complete his look, which he says drew inspiration from his love of horror films, cartoons and '90s icon Winona Ryder.

And his work paid off.

Students from other schools approached McCann throughout the day to compliment him on his attire, their faces lighting up as he turned to thank them. McCann's brightly-colored, spiky hair, sparkly corset and neon yellow tulle skirt stood out against his striped orange and black sweater and long black skirt.

"Growing up, I just always — to the best of my ability — dressed like this and liked horror," he said, his make-up almost reminiscent of the character Sally from the animated movie "Nightmare Before Christmas." "Now that I'm older and I have the ability to do it, it's pretty straight trajectory."

McCann, who is transgender, said he's attended the conference since middle school and has looked forward to it ever since. Over the years, the teen has met new people and made new friends. The conference, he says, has often reminded him that "queer people exist" in his home state.

Landon Hoadley, a 13-year-old from John Addams Middle School, and Janiesha White, a 15-year-old from Hoover High School, shared similar sentiments. Hoadley, who is transgender and uses they/them pronouns, arrived to the event with the transgender pride flag and pansexual pride flag pinned behind their ears.

Hoadley, who attended the event last year, said they enjoyed seeing "people like ourselves" come together and share their experiences.

As White made her way through the conference lobby, she told the Des Moines Register she felt immense support by just being at the event. White and her girlfriend, Bessie Clemons, were both new to the event and visited several tables, grabbing pamphlets and free giveaways. The couple said they each have had trouble coming out to friends and family and feared being judged.

White said she found the conference to be "beautiful," while Clemons pointed to the resources she thought were helpful. They also said coming the event together and hearing Stardust open up about her own experience made them feel less isolated.

"I'm not alone," White said.

Safe spaces in Iowa

Bailey Stone, co-founder of the "I Am Me" project, was among the dozens of local leaders who attended the event. At her table, Stone sprayed streaks of temporary blue and purple dye on strands of teens' hair while sharing details on an upcoming event for trans and nonbinary students. The "I Am Me" project is comprised of several hairstylists from the Des Moines metro eager to teach others how to make their salons welcoming for LGBTQ customers.

Asking pronouns and providing gender-neutral bathrooms are just some of those ways, Stone said.

"A haircut is a very important part of the gender-affirming process and coming out in general," said Stone, whose organization will be offering free haircuts for trans and nonbinary students on April 7 and 8. Those interested are encouraged to book an appointment at iammeiowa.com.

Across the lobby, Julie Swiftbird was spreading the word about Tanager Place's LGBTQ youth center. Swiftbird, who goes to Metro High School, said she was 12 years old when she first went to the youth center — and, she says, her experience has changed her life. She said she's become more confident and found lasting friendships.

At Tanager, she said young people can come and hang out. There they can knit or play Dungeons & Dragons. Other than that, she said, they can also learn about mental health services or health education or partake in financial literacy classes.

F. Amanda Tugade covers social justice issues for the Des Moines Register. Email her at ftugade@dmreg.com or follow her on Twitter @writefelissa.

This article originally appeared on Des Moines Register: Trans lawmaker Zooey Zephyr speaks at annual Iowa LGBTQ youth event