Identifying As 'Cishet' Isn't The Same As Being 'Straight'
The language around gender and sexual identity is constantly evolving—as it should be—and one term you may have heard recently is "cishet."
A portmanteau to describe both gender identity and sexual orientation, cishet comes from combining "cisgender" and "heterosexual." To break the term down more, being cisgender means you identify with the gender or biological sex you were assigned at birth, and "heterosexual" is generally understood to mean someone who is sexually attracted to people of the opposite sex. (But more on that later.)
While that all might seem pretty straightforward, like all genders and sexual identities, there’s no one way to experience being cishet.
"I don’t see the combination of those two as being a singular type of identity," says Dr. Penny Harvey (she/they), assistant professor of sexuality studies at the California Institute of Integral Studies. "They’re more of identity markers or labels of the experience of gender and sexuality for the two."
In many ways, being cishet is seen as the default in our society, Harvey adds. If you identify as such, you likely haven't experienced gender dysmorphia—the sense that your biological sex and your gender identity are mismatched—nor do you identify as transgender or another identity that falls under the umbrella of LGBTQ+.
Harvey adds that some people view being called "cishet" as an insult, but believes that feeling might be more of a reaction to the "challenge of not having to think about being cishet, and then suddenly having to think about it; it makes folks feel uneasy."
Self-growth isn't necessarily a painless process, but if you're ready to learn more, here's everything you need to know about what it means to be cishet, according to experts.
What does it mean to be cishet, exactly?
As a quick reminder, being cishet means that you identify as both cisgender and heterosexual. However, the term needs to be unpacked a little, especially with the growing understanding that the concepts of gender and sexuality both exist on a spectrum.
"You could define heterosexual as someone who is attracted to the other sex, but that recreates the binary that we’re really trying to move away from," says Jey Saung (they/them), a doctoral candidate in the Gender, Women, and Sexuality Studies Department at the University of Washington, Seattle. "I think defining both of these terms is hard because we can only do it through the lens of other concepts that we’ve constructed."
What's the difference between being 'straight' and 'cishet'?
Though the identities may seem similar, the distinction lies in what each term encompasses. When someone is described as "straight," it is usually a reference to their sexual orientation only, signifying that they are heterosexual, explains Harvey. Noting that someone is "cishet" is both a description of someone’s sexual orientation (heterosexual) and gender identity (cisgender).
Being cishet comes with privilege.
First, let’s take a step back. For the most part, society in the U.S. is heteronormative, meaning that it’s set up with the assumption that most people are heterosexual and cisgender, says Harvey. For example, there’s not a coming out process associated with being cishet, as there is for individuals who identify as part of the LGBTQ+ community.
Because of that, everything from legal systems and medical forms to children’s books and the variety of greeting cards available at your local CVS is geared toward being cishet. If you don’t identify as such, the experience can run the gamut from isolating to dangerous to everything in between.
For those who identify as cishet to be more inclusive, it's important to think about the language you use, not make assumptions about someone’s sexual or gender identity, and generally "try to walk around with an active mind," says Harvey. "There’s just so much engrained stuff around gender and sexuality that it can be really hard to undo that."
Saung adds that conversations about privilege often define the term as being a special advantage in society. Certainly, privilege can manifest in that way, but they say, you should instead think about the idea as "a lack of additional barriers."\
One way to educate yourself is learning about the symbolism of the LGBTQ+ pride flags:
"It’s less about it being a kind of positive step up and more of an absence of obstacles or things that get in your way based on who you are," Saung explains.
When you’re in a position of privilege, it’s important to realize that not everyone has the same opportunities or access as you do. That said, Saung notes that it’s less about helping those with less privilege than you and more about understanding how all of our systems—gender included—hurt all of us. Making legislative tweaks and passing laws that address issues that affect the LGBTQ+ community one at a time can make a positive difference, sure, but recognizing your privilege and how it allows you to move easily through the world compels you to ask the question, how can we create a new system that values everyone?
And that sounds like a future worth fighting for.
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