My Husband Is Battling the Wildfires in California—But I Won’t Focus on Fear

From Oprah Magazine

Jenny and her husband Cameron have a fairy tale romance—literally. While she was a princess at Tokyo Disney, she received a message on MySpace from none other than Prince Charming. Or, more specifically, a gent who previously played Prince Charming at Disneyland and had done two contracts for the park in Japan before Jenny’s time there. Although he could tell from her profile that they had plenty in common, she was skeptical.

“At first I had been warned: Don’t trust someone you don’t know online,” she tells OprahMag.com, reflecting on Cameron’s first message to her over a decade ago. “He had done some modeling work, and I figured 'This is definitely a fake account. I will not be tricked.'”

While she initially ignored him, she later came to find from asking a mutual friend that he was the real deal—and after talking for three weeks, she knew: “I’m going to marry to this guy.” So she invited Cameron to visit her and the rest, as they say, is (storybook) history. But fast forward 15 years, and now, Jenny and Cameron’s life with their two children isn’t all glass slippers and glitter dust. Like any fairy tale, it's required sacrifice.

16 years ago, Cameron traded in his gold epaulettes for rubber boots and a heat retardant helmet. Currently a fire captain in Southern California, he's been away from home for the last 11 days, one of thousands of emergency responders who have been working to try to contain the deadly wildfires that have been ravaging the West Coast. According to the New York Times, three million acres in California have been scorched in 2020 alone—more than any other year—killing at least 15 and decimating 3,300 structures, per CBS News. And this is the second wildfire that Cameron has been dispatched to in the past three weeks as states plead for more resources.

For an indeterminate amount of days, Cameron and his unit (along with droves of other engines) have been working tirelessly for 12 hours or sometimes 24 hours straight, depending on the shift, to stop the spread of damage. This consists of the expected—actually fighting fires—as well as tasks like digging trenches to act as a barrier to contain the spread, clearing brush away from homes, and laying hose in preparation for changes in wind. “It’s a lot of manual, exhausting work,” Jenny explains.

After the grueling day ends, the firefighters form a long line at the gas station while their rigs get filled, then drive over an hour to a base camp where they wait for the showers to get sanitized in between each use (thanks to the added wrinkle of COVID-19) before retiring to their tents. Then, Cameron spends a few minutes checking in on the phone with Jenny and their two kids—Colton, 8, and Rosie, 6.

Jenny typically documents her life, including the pain of having to part with her husband, on both Instagram and her blog, Princess Turned Mom. But the part her followers don't see is the fact that she’s constantly facing “the unexpected” thanks to her husband's job. She says: “It’s a rollercoaster of ‘Hey, they have more containment, maybe we’ll be headed home’ and then the next day it’s, ‘Just kidding, we’re not headed home, it took a turn.’ You never know what’s going to happen.”

Meanwhile, she does her best to homeschool her children and help distract them, though that’s been particularly challenging during the pandemic.

“I’m trying to keep them as busy as I possibly can, which is hard, because this year has looked different. We’re usually going to Disney, and doing fun things, but California is shut down, so there’s less to take their minds off of missing daddy.”

She adds,“It was different before kids. I was working outside of the home and I would schedule girls nights when he was working. But, when the kids came along it added a new dynamic. I have no one to help me with them. My family mostly doesn’t live close. There are no grandparents that are able to babysit. A lot of the fire families will live near kin so they’ll have help, but I was not granted that.”

And while she does have the support of her fellow #firewives, she notes that while “the fire community is really strong, it’s difficult, because when so many of the guys are all gone, it’s hard to impose on those families that have also been dealing with the same struggle.”

Still, Jenny tries not to let the fear of anything happening to her Prince Charming overwhelm her—even when her heart is at its heaviest.

“My faith is a big thing for me. Faith over fear is what I try to focus on, and even though there’s moments of worry, ultimately I know how well trained he is, and I know he’d never purposefully put himself in more danger than he needs to. I just have to constantly remind myself that he’s well-trained and he loves us.”

And as far as the ultimate dread, she says, “It’s been a long time since we’ve had a fire death caused by an actual incident. Of course I know it could happen, but within his department, the more common thing firefighters deal with is residual effects later in life from smoke inhalation. Cancer is one of the leading causes of fire fighters dying. That, to me, is a bigger concern than the actual fires.”

If you happen to live on the West Coast and you’re wondering what you can do to help those on the frontlines, Jenny’s ask is simple: Anyone in an evacuation zone, please listen. She says: “Make sure that you’re not trying to be the hero. So many people are like ‘I got a hose and I don’t want to leave my house.’ You’re just putting the firefighters in more danger. They’re not just trying to save your house. They’ll have to run in and save you, too. Listen to the orders, and do what you’re supposed to be doing.”

That includes some precautionary measures: “If you live in an area that’s heavily wooded with lots of brush around your home, make sure that you’re keeping the dead brush away from it. That’s a huge help. Then, it’s not as dangerous when the wildfires rip through.”

For those hoping to assist with relief efforts in California, Washington, Oregon, and Colorado from afar, and you're in a position to give, Cameron suggests via Jenny that you consider donating to the American Red Cross which provides supplies, meals, and housing for both victims and emergency workers.

"We often see Red Cross personnel in our base camps working with the evacuation side of the fire, ensuring all displaced residents and their animals are properly taken care of," he says. He adds that you can also contribute directly to a specific fire department by looking up their individual benevolent fund which are established to provide support for injuries, cancer, and/or deaths of on-duty firefighters and their families." You can text REDCROSS to 90999 to give $10 to American Red Cross Disaster Relief, or go through their website for other options.

But the easiest thing you can do? If you ever see a firefighter—regardless of where in the nation you are—“thank them for their service,” Jenny suggests.

While she’s had to tap into levels of strength befitting of a modern princess when duty calls Cameron away, Jenny wouldn’t change anything about her version of a happily ever after.

“Whatever makes him feel joyful to get out of bed in the morning, knowing he loves getting up and going to work and doing what he does, then I’m okay.”

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