Husband asks if he’s wrong for leaving instead of hosting his wife’s family for Easter
Hosting is a lot of work—especially when you do it for every holiday. But when your family isn’t even good guests? Well, that’s what made one husband put his foot down—and now he’s asking the internet if he’s in the wrong.
On Reddit’s “Am I the A**hole” forum, he explains that since he and his wife own a house, they get stuck with hosting duties for every holiday.
“It’s not even a discussion with her family anymore, everyone just assumes that we are going to be the ones who host,” he writes.
But his wife’s family? “Not the best guests,” as he describes them. He says they forget to bring food they committed to share and disappear when it’s time to clean up or help in other ways.
“We hosted Xmas for her family this year and it sucked,” he writes. “People showed up late, ‘forgot’ the food they were supposed to bring, no one helped with cleaning, people let their kids make messes etc. Same old story as every other time. After that I told my wife I was done. I told her I don’t want to host her family until someone else on her family steps up and hosts something or we book some other venue and all chip in to pay for it. She promised to talk to her family about it and figure something out for next holiday.”
But now that Easter is around the corner, his wife gave in and agreed to host the family again. The caveat is that she talked to her mom and sister about how hard Christmas was and they “agreed that they would do better and offered to prove it” on Easter, but husband isn’t buying it.
So, “I told my wife that she is on her own for this one. I told her I would be spending the entirety of Easter weekend with my family and I’ll take any kids with me that want to come. But I am not going to be helping with any of the hosting duties whatsoever.”
He says his wife thinks he’s overreacting, but “To top it off, all 3 of our kids want to come spend the weekend with me instead of staying home.”
He wants to know if he’s wrong. What would you say?
In the comments, people are pretty unanimous that he deserves his peaceful holiday with his family, and his wife hosting her family alone might just be the wakeup call she needs.
“I don’t think your wife is being firm enough with her family, and even if she’s trying to negotiate some improvement out of them, it was out of line for her to agree to it without talking to you. It sounds like she’s taking you for granted. This might be her ‘handling it’ but it feels a bit too little / too late to expect you to host yet again just to give the family another chance, especially when she committed without talking to you,” the top comment reads. “And, without knowing the family, I can’t say I have a lot of faith any improvements they demonstrate this weekend will ‘stick’. The answer is that you guys should NOT have to solely face hosting duties, in fact you should not be hosting at all unless you’re both bought in, end of story.”
Another says, “Even your kids are tired of the BS that comes from your wife’s side of the family. That just further justification that you’re making the right decision. They’ve had enough chances and made enough empty promises. Her circus, her monkeys.”
Hopefully, this family can come to a resolution that allows them all to have a happy Easter.
