Hunter McGrady says she’s sexualized when she breastfeeds because of her size

Plus-size model and new mom Hunter McGrady opens up about the joys and perils of breastfeeding — and sometimes getting the most “disgusted stares.”

Video Transcript

HUNTER MCGRADY: We rarely ever see plus-size women represented in any regular-day life, let alone breastfeeding, pregnancy, none of it. And I notice that when I have my baby and I'm breastfeeding out in public, I get the most disgusted stares, like I am doing something so wrong and unnatural. But when I go out with my girlfriends who are smaller-chested, they don't get those stares as often. They still do, because I do think that there is a stigma around breastfeeding that needs to change 100%.

We've really forgotten, like, these are for babies. They're to nourish your baby. Having a larger bust, a lot of people just-- they sexualize it. And it's the same thing with me wearing a bikini.

A lot of times, my posts on Instagram will get taken down if I'm in a bikini because I am bustier, and I've got a lot going on. And they'll report it, which is complete and utter BS. I'm in my head about that. I think that that's just something that we need to really normalize.

My breastfeeding journey has not been what I thought it was going to be. I thought it was going to be, like, I had my baby, and in the hospital, I was going to hold him and I was going to breastfeed him, and he was going to latch immediately. And it was going to be beautiful. And, like, that was not the case at all. Having a larger chest, I did think, I'm going to have a supply, especially because I was actually leaking colostrum about two months before giving birth.

So I thought, God, my breasts are raring to go. And then when it didn't happen, I was, like, OK, they just totally let me down. What happened here?

There's an overachiever and an underachiever-- a slacker. My left one, grade A student. My right, getting the boot.

And this is something that I had no idea going into this. So I was really, really, really sad. And there's nothing coming out. I was pumping so much, and feeling so much, and doing, like, the lactation cookies that I actually got mastitis, which was a clogged milk duct.

And I had a really bad fever, and I was really, really sick. In that moment, I was, like, whether you're doing breastfeeding, you're doing formula, fed is best. And it took me a little bit to get past that.

I truly think that moms do not get enough information about breastfeeding, especially in the hospital. You're sitting there and you're, like, something's wrong with me. Like, this shouldn't be so hard.

I turned to, of course, my closest sources-- my mom, my friends who have breastfed. And then, I turned to my Instagram crew. I also reached out to a lactation consultant. She was really, really helpful on getting me on kind of a routine of, like, OK, here's what we can do to kind of build your supply, and don't worry about if you have to supplement with formula and if you can't breastfeed at the breast every single time, and kind of just eased my anxiety with it.

I feel like there was a ton of pressure to breastfeed Hudson because I was getting DMs of people being, like, are you going to breastfeed? I hope you're going to breastfeed. But the truth of the matter is, he wasn't gaining the correct weight because he wasn't getting enough from my breast.

I do really, really love the bonding experience overall with Hudson. I love just that time. It's just him and me. Although, I will say, I do also get that with bottle feeding, too.

I think there's absolutely nothing bad about stopping breastfeeding. I really, really don't. If I give it the next few weeks and I'm, like, you know what? This is still really hard. I'm totally OK with saying formula is the way to go.

I'm taking it day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. And I think that that's really all-encompassing of what motherhood is. I'm learning that very quickly.

So we'll see. I don't have a set goal. I'm just taking it day by day.