Hugh Jackman & Deborra-Lee Furness Had ‘Really Different Ideas’ About Parenting
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He’s played Wolverine in nine films, but to Hugh Jackman’s children, he’s just dad. Just a month before announcing his split from wife Deborra-Lee Furness after 27 years, he spoke of what sort of impact a recent role had on his family life.
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Hugh and Deborra-Lee married on April 11, 1997, and made a touching Instagram post for his wife to celebrate their 27th anniversary in April 2023. “I love you so much. Together we have created a beautiful family. And life. Your laughter, your spirit, generosity, humor, cheekiness, courage and loyalty is an incredible gift to me.”
Furness revealed the secret to their long-lasting marriage to People, “We meditate together and sometimes we have friends over to do it, too. It’s a lovely Sunday morning thing. Everyone comes over, and then we have breakfast.”
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In an interview with Radio Times in February 2023, Jackman confessed that having children was challenging at times. “You fall in love with someone and you work out your relationship, it’s great! All of a sudden, we had kids,” he said. The way I was parented, the way she was parented… all of a sudden… whoosh! And it wasn’t just Deb and I, it was somehow our pasts coming together.” He continued: “We had really different ideas about being a parent. And we never really pre-discussed it. We just assumed: we love each other, we don’t argue, that’s going to be fine!”
Jackman went on to describe how his film The Son left him deeply affected as a family man. The film is about Peter (Jackman) whose hectic life gets further upended when his ex-wife tells him their teenage son, Nicholas, is deeply troubled. He soon tries to take care of Nicholas the same way he would have wanted his own father to have taken care of him.
Even his children noticed the strain. He revealed: “My wife said to me, ‘You’re the last person I would describe as a hot mess. But during this, you have been a hot mess.’ My sleep was off. I don’t think I thought so at the time, but I look back now and see that there was a real parallel to what [my character] Peter was going through”. He added: “Both my kids would notice a difference [in me] for sure!”
He expanded on this during an interview with Deadline, speaking about what he gained personally from the role. “I certainly have learned a lot about vulnerability as a parent. The idea of not knowing. The idea of admitting. I mean, I have a 17 and 22-year-old. So, the idea of leading with … I’m not hiding from them my vulnerabilities or my doubt or my worry,” he said.
“Just recently, I remember I was worried about something with one of my kids and I could see the look on their face, and I could see that they thought I was disappointed. That’s what I was reading. My son walked off and I went downstairs, and I said, “I get that feeling you think I’m disappointed, but I’m just worried.” And we ended up having really good conversation. And I think prior to this movie, I would’ve thought, that’s not helpful for them. That actually, what they need is strength and surety and a kind of feeling that, ‘My dad knows what to do.’ That feeling. But actually, I realize that doesn’t help. And it’s OK to have these discussions.”
Who are Hugh Jackman and Deborra-Lee Furness’s children?
Hugh Jackman and Deborra-Lee Furness have two adopted children together. Read all about them.
Oscar Maximillian
Born: on May 15, 2000
Jackman and Furness became parents for the first time in 2020 when they welcomed Oscar into their family. Jackman said they “were always going to adopt,” but it came after experiencing miscarriages and IVF. “It was not easy. It was difficult, obviously particularly on Deb,” he told PEOPLE in 2017. “I remember saying to her, ‘We were always going to adopt—let’s just adopt now.’ ”
“Our motivation behind adopting was, ‘Where is the need?’ ” he continued. “And we just knew from talking with people in that space, when we were looking around, that the biggest need is in mixed-race kids.”
Furness spoke of how they supported Oscar’s background, as well. “When my son was younger, he found out he was part Bosnian, so we went and got this Croatian/Bosnian cookbook and he was very proud to carry that around when he was 7 years old,” Furness told PEOPLE in 2020.
Ava Eliot
Born: on July 10, 2005
Ava is Hugh Jackman and Deborra-Lee Furness’ second child and he told People at the time of becoming a father-of-two that, “You’re a little more relaxed. And it’s a different dynamic having a girl, but both are wonderful and I’m so blessed to have a beautiful boy and girl.” He added, “I hold her and think, ‘I don’t want you to face anything bad ever in your life.’ “
The Oscar-nominated actor also told PEOPLE and EW at the Toronto International Film Festival that she had some feedback for a dance scene he had to perform in The Son.
“I did say to my daughter that I have this scene, and the only clue I have [for the character’s approach] is that there’s a famous hip sway. I said, ‘I’ve been workshopping a few ideas, what do you think?’” he recalled. “I started to do it and she goes, ‘Dad, is the idea that you’re doing nerdy dad dancing?’” Jackman said he responded in the affirmative, to which she replied: “You’ve got it, just roll the camera.”
Why are Hugh Jackman and Deborra-Lee Furness separating?
Why are Hugh Jackman and Deborra Lee-Furness separating? The two made a statement to People on September 15, 2023.
“We have been blessed to share almost 3 decades together as husband and wife in a wonderful, loving marriage. Our journey now is shifting and we have decided to separate to pursue our individual growth,” they wrote.
“Our family has been and always will be our highest priority. We undertake this next chapter with gratitude, love, and kindness. We greatly appreciate your understanding in respecting our privacy as our family navigates this transition in all of our lives.” The statement concluded: “This is the sole statement either of us will make.”
The two met when they co-starred in the Australian TV show Corelli. “Deb, she was a big star…I get picked up, and Deb is in the front seat of the car. I’ll never forget,” Hugh recalled to People. “She took off her seatbelt and she turned around and put out her hand and took off her sunglasses and said, ‘Hi, I’m Deborra-lee Furness, nice to meet you.’ I remember thinking, ‘I like this girl.’”
Everyone else on the crew had the same idea. “She was the star. I had this major crush on her,” Jackman told Ellen DeGeneres in 2016. “Everyone did. The whole crew had a crush on her.” Jackman later admitted his feelings for Furness and the couple got married about a year later.
On the key to a long-lasting marriage, Hugh gushed about meeting his wife. Literally from day one, Deb and I had that feeling. It was like a relief. I could just be myself,” he told TODAY. “I am not saying we don’t ever dress up or impress each other, but being comfortable is a key.”
Just a month prior, Jackman told Smooth Radio about the secret to a happy, long-lasting marriage. “I think honesty and intimacy and making time. You can’t just assume that things will just tick along. You have to make time. And intimacy is about really sharing what you’re going through, feelings and checking in with the other person, checking in what they need from you, checking in, how they’re doing, checking and beyond,” he said.
He continued: “Just because it’s so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day of life. That’s hard enough. Kids, school runs, whatever it is, sleepless nights, it’s tiring. So you have to be checking in with each other. We have time together every morning, so we make sure of that as the day can get away from you. And sometimes in the evening, I’m sorry, that’s not the best version of me by the evening. I’m tired, I want to check out. I run out of words for the day. They say men have 2,000 words a day.”
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