Hot Girl Summer Is Over. Fat Bear Fall Is Here.

From ELLE

Let's cut to the chase. Hot Girl Summer, with its mighty call for independence and sturdy knees, was a beautiful, magical time. We listened to Megan Thee Stallion and Lizzo and couldn't care less about anything besides our own wants and desires and, you know, being hot. But like all good things in this world, Hot Girl Summer has come to an end.

It's finally cold outside and that can only mean one thing: Fat Bear Fall is fucking here. And I, for one, could not be more thrilled.

Fat Bear Fall is what you've been waiting for, what you've been working for. It's the time of year when you can finally unbutton your jeans under the covering of an oversized sweater, sit back in your chair with a hot (never iced!!!) coffee and chill the fuck out. 'Tis the season for Fat Bear Energy—or FBE, if you'd like—as we plumply and clumsily barrel into these upcoming cozy months. Admittedly, my colleagues have tried to declare this autumn Sad Girl Fall. But why be mis and emo when you can be chubby and cozy? And also the fashun for Fat Bear Fall is much, much better more forgiving.

But how did we really know Fat Bear Fall had begun? Our friends over in Katmai National Park in Alaska informed us with the start of Fat Bear Week, which officially began on October 2 and goes through October 8, otherwise known as "Fat Bear Tuesday."

During this one particular glorious week, you—the proud citizen of a country where such a week even exists—get to vote on 12 of the park's fattest brown bears to determine your favorite. These bears have worked hard preparing for hibernation over the past few months, and now they're ready to be lovingly judged by the rest of the world. As Katmai's Twitter account expertly explains: "Young children dream of becoming president. Young bears dream of being voted Katmai's fattest bear. Make a bear's dream come true."

And who can deny them such a dream? I, too, love to be celebrated for my ability to eat a ton of food in preparation to sleep all winter long. What's more, the park doesn't even have to weigh the bears, an inconvenience that no human or animal can be bothered with during the greatest season of them all. Instead, they use 3D scans to figure out how fat a bear is, and they'll be announcing their findings on Fat Bear Tuesday once the winner is crowned.

In order to participate in the best week of the year—yes, I would put Fat Bear Week above the Discovery's Shark Week in an instant—one must vote on the Katmai Facebook page in each day's Fat Bear bracket. As Outside magazine reminds us, anyone who has participated in Fat Bear Week before knows to be on the lookout for any reoccurring "celebears," like mom Holly, who will be up for a vote this Saturday.

While Trump is busy getting himself impeached, and everything else is simultaneously going to shit, give me this one week to enjoy something truly pure. Give me unadulterated joy in the form of fatty fat bears. Give me this 24-hour livestream of bears eating salmon in Katmai Park as they get ready for this week, the week of all weeks. Give me Fat Bear Week and, in turn, give me Fat Bear Fall.

Katmai National Park's press release makes it clear. "There is no shame in winning this contest," it reads, "as large amounts of body fat in brown bears is indicative of good health and strong chances of survival." Huzzah! A seasonal motto if I ever heard one.

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