Hosts and guests: How to be the best of both
We recently had some guests at the ranch who enjoy camping off the grid, and while they weren’t our typical house guests, I was sad to see them leave. Like most guests who come to the ranch they extended their stay. These guests who were not even sleeping in the house went above and beyond for guests with their generosity; respecting the ranch schedule; pitching in with ranch duties which involved a great deal of shoveling dirt to repair a water line; contributing to dinner with groceries, cooking, and washing dishes; and giving me a thank-you note before they left.
What makes a great house guest or visitor? Or an outstanding host? Here are a few suggestions to consider whether you are a guest or a host.
As a guest, consider bringing a gift. This could be anything from goodies for a “nibbly” tray (i.e.,charcuterie board, hors d’oeuvres) or a bottle of wine. It depends on your host and the length of your stay. Try candles or a book you think they might enjoy, flowers or a plant, groceries, paper products, a cute dishtowel. Over the years, I had one neighbor who would come over to catch up, and she had been taught by her parents never to arrive at someone’s house empty handed.
We have one couple who likes to visit us at the ranch and because they enjoy cooking, their gift to us is to bring a whole meal and cook for us. Speaking of food, if you have any special dietary restrictions, let your host know ahead of time (this that does not mean dictating the menu if they are cooking). If you like cream in your morning coffee or there is just something you have to eat every day, bring it with you and have enough to share. Another gift to your host could be taking them out for a meal.
Respect the house rules. If your host or hosts eat their last meal of the day early, or they like to go to bed at 9:00 p. m., respect the house schedule. Be observant as they may take off their shoes when they enter the house, you should so do the same if you are able.
Lend a helping hand. Pitch in with meal prep or clearing and washing the dishes. For me washing dishes is a sticky issue because I do not have a garbage disposal, and some “helpful” guests have clogged our pipes in the past. Offer to take out the trash if it needs to be emptied. While I do not expect guests to mop the floors, it is nice when they make a concerted effort to clean up after themselves and/or their children. While I do love the grandkids, I do not like having to wipe scrambled eggs off the dining room chairs and table. Try your best to leave the house and your sleeping area as clean as when you arrived. Tidy your space in the house every day. That means make up your bed and do not leave your stuff strewn around the room or the house.
Participate. If the host wants to take you somewhere, go with the flow. While the outing may not be your first choice, look on the bright side and you may just find something enjoyable about the outing.
Try to pay your way. Depending on the circumstances it is always nice to chip in. Perhaps the host has driven you all over town, giving you a great tour, so you could offer to fill the gas tank.
Ditch the cellphone. While it is important to check your email and keep in touch with others, spending hours scrolling through social media is disrespectful to your host (and as a host it’s disrespectful to your guests).
Strip the sheets and put them in one of the pillowcases. Some hosts may tell you not to strip the sheets, but I usually don’t ask—I just do it.
Pay attention. If you break anything, try to replace it. If you discover issues with anything in the house, let your host know. There may be a certain trick to flushing the toilet just right. It is better to ask than to ignore a problem that may be costly to fix in the long run.
Send a thank you note. My cousin Margaret carries thank-you cards to leave a note behind. She does not have to worry about sending a card later. Personally, I like a snail mail card, but a thank-you note of any sort is appreciated. Perhaps even a thank-you gift depending on your hosts.
How to be a host
Put out clean linens and fresh towels (this is a given). Put soap and shampoo in their shower, along with an extra toothbrush and paste available if needed. I also keep a hairdryer under the sink in the guest bathroom.
If your guest room doubles as your second closet, office, or junk room, straighten up the room. Try to remove clothes from the closet or papers from your office that you think you may need access to when your guests are staying in the room. Do this in order to minimize your time in your guest’s room.
Have the wifi code easily available. Have a place available for them to easily charge their phone and/or electronics.
Remember that it works both ways—one day you’re the guest, the next time you are the host. In either case, have fun, and enjoy the company.
Feel free to share your thoughts with me: ashton@ashtoncannon.com.
Ashton Graham is an educator, book publisher, photographer, cowgirl and yoga teacher. She is currently studying to become a yoga therapist and lives on a ranch in West Texas. Visit www.ashtoncannon.com to learn more.
This article originally appeared on Las Cruces Sun-News: Hosts and guests: How to be the best of both
