Hoda Kotb Shares How To Be the Best Version of Yourself With 4 Simple Steps That ‘Make the Magic Happen’

To say Hoda Kotb is busy is an understatement. For starters, she's a mom of two energetic young daughters under the age of six. Second, the 58-year-old starts her workday in a way most of us don’t—in front of an audience of millions as co-anchor of NBC’s TODAY morning show. But that’s not all: she’s also a New York Times bestselling author and host of the popular podcast Making Space with Hoda Kotb, featuring candid and relatable conversations with some of the world’s most fascinating people.

The seasoned journalist is an award-winning sharer of stories, but she’s so much more than that. Kotb is on a mission is to reveal the lessons inside those stories to help people uncover their true life’s purpose and inspire them to be the best version of themselves—something Kotb herself strives to do daily. “As I grow, I’m on this quest and journey to learn things about myself,” Kotb tells Parade. “Making space is one the most important things you can do on that journey.”

Wondering how to become the best version of yourself, exactly? Try Kotb's four simple steps.

How To Become the Best Version of Yourself, According to Hoda Kotb

1. Claim an Hour to Prioritize Your Needs

We all find time to take care of other people, but what about finding time to take care of yourself? Kotb is passionate about helping other women understand that scheduling time for themselves isn’t selfish, it’s essential.

“I feel like everyone is so incredibly rushed,” she says. “No matter what you're doing, (it feels like) there's no time or space to turn the lights off, calm down and re-right the ship.”

You can’t add more time to your busy day, but one thing you can do is set aside some of that time to focus on YOU. For Kotb, that means starting her morning before family and work needs her attention. “That’s MY hour,” she explains.

This may seem daunting (especially if you’re not a morning person!), but Kotb swears that setting her alarm an hour earlier so she can dedicate time to self-reflection—unapologetically and without interruptions—has changed her life. “I sit at my table, and I don’t look at the news, I don’t look at work,” she explains. “I use that time to check on myself.”

Without distractions, Kotb is in a better headspace to make her well-being the priority instead of fixating on stressful thoughts. “When you focus on the thing that’s bothering you, your world just shrinks to that,” she says. “There’s only one conversation, and you get stuck there. But when you pause for a second and make space, that’s when the magic happens.”

Kotb also uses this time to ask herself a series of questions. “I say, O.K., what does my body need today? What do I need emotionally? What would help my spirit today?” She then writes the answers down in a journal—and that simple act of putting them on paper sets the tone for her day. “I’ll write down a mini-plan of the things that I want to do that day for myself,” she says. “It makes my whole day better.”

Related: 100 Quotes About Self-Care, Because Being Good to Yourself Has Never Been More Important

2. Make Space for Authentic Conversations

“One of the traits I value most in people is authenticity,” says Kotb. “I like when people can tell me the real story. While the highs of life are great to celebrate, the low moments are of equal importance. What we've been through and what we've survived together are the fabric of who we are.”

It’s that level of authenticity that fuels her friendships. Kotb leans on her good friends, including fellow journalist Maria Shriver, when she needs support and a good, honest truth-telling session. “If there is one thing I've learned in my life, it's the importance of the people you surround yourself with,” she says. “Maria is one of the friends I hold so dear to my heart. She is my go-to at any time I'm in a crossroads or in a funk… one call to her, and suddenly my mental load feels lighter.”

Kotb recommends checking in with your friends on a regular basis too, to maintain a safe space of unconditional emotional support. “Sometimes you need space to tell someone, ‘You matter' [and] ‘This is how much you mean to me.’”

Authentic conversations are also the focus of Making Space with Hoda Kotb, featuring one-on-one sit-downs with Oprah, gospel singer Cece Winans, country singer Wynonna Judd, actress Rosie Perez and motivational expert Mel Robbins, to name just a few.

“All of these people give bits and pieces of advice that I carry,” says Kotb. “I think every person I spoke to went through an incredible hardship that could have been crippling,” she says. “Since I've been doing this podcast, I feel so enlightened, I feel lighter, I feel I’ve gained more wisdom.”

Related: 125 Self-Love Quotes to Make You Realize You're as Flawless as Beyoncé

3. Check In With Your Spiritual Self

When the stresses of everyday life feel overwhelming, Kotb suggests reconnecting with your spirituality. “We all need to dial back,” Kotb says. “We’re not our best selves when we’re running on fumes.”

For Kotb, that means dedicating 20 minutes every day to prayer and meditation—something she admits didn’t come easy. “I’ve always said I don’t have time to meditate,” she confesses, “and then I started and suddenly I was like, oh my God, I feel peaceful! I like this feeling! I use that time to center myself.”

The benefits of meditation go beyond reducing stress and increasing self-awareness. According to the Mayo Clinic, meditation has many emotional and physical benefits, including boosting creativity, improving focus, lowering blood pressure, and improving sleep quality.

Not sure if meditation is for you? Kotb suggests starting with active breathing. “It’s really cool,” she says. “It’s a lower body inhale, a chest exhale, and out, and you do it over and over.” Setting the mood to meditate is also key: Kotb likes to light a candle and dim the lights.

Related: 20 Enlightening Spiritual Books for When You're Searching for Hope and Strength

4. Learn From Your Life, Live in Your Truth

While Kotb’s career has exposed her to many teachable moments, her most influential teachers to date may be the youngest: her two daughters, Hailey and Hope. “I feel like they are teaching me more about myself,” she says. One of the biggest parenting lessons she’s learned so far? Patience—a life skill Kotb admits didn’t come easy. “I can’t be as controlling [with my daughters] as I’ve been in my life,” she says. “[Parenthood] has taught me that I need more patience."

Kotb is an advocate for living in your truth—even when it’s hard to examine your own life and make positive changes. “I think it takes courage to unearth all the things that you want to stuff down, things that you spent a lifetime putting away, and saying that you're not afraid of it, it doesn't own you (and) you're not defined by that,” she says, “and I think once you push it out, you feel lighter.”

Next up: 100 Inspirational Quotes To Keep You Inspired in 2023—You Can Do Hard Things!