Hillaristas vs. Bernie Bros: What's a Millennial Girl to Do?

(Photo: Getty Images)

It’s not just that Meghan Hammond, 32, a law student at Northwestern, is a big Hillary Clinton supporter. She is. It’s that she flat-out says she could not date a so-called “Bernie bro” even if she was attracted to him. “They want to change the world by social media, but it’s not there in the execution,” she says of them. “It’s nice to be passionate about something, but if you’re not going to take a pragmatic view, it’s like dating a starving artist.”

Sure enough, passion and pragmatism seem to be two of the key words defining the friction and vitriol currently coursing through the dialogue between friends, boyfriends, and girlfriends these days, online and IRL, when it comes to the standoff between Hillaristas — people throwing their weight behind the experience, intelligence, and shrewdness of Hillary Clinton for the Democratic presidential nomination — and the so-called “Bernie bros,” those young, left-leaning, hipstery, usually white men who’ve gotten behind Bernie Sanders for his no-holds-barred crusade against corporate control of government and his cranky, I-couldn’t-give-two-s***s approach to his public image.

And with Hillary beating Bernie in Iowa on Feb 1 by a mere .3 percentage points — basically a tie — it’s clear that the battle for the nomination, and among friends, isn’t going to end anytime soon — especially considering that voters younger than 30 overwhelmingly voted for Sanders in Iowa.

But before you think that all Bernie supporters are, well, bros, think again. A January USA Today/Rock the Vote poll found that Sanders beat Clinton among young women by 19 points. (The bulk of Clinton’s support comes from people middle-aged and older.) It’s even gotten to the point where some millennial women have been banned from Tinder for using the dating app to stump for The Bern.

And it’s to the point where feminist pioneer Gloria Steinem, on Bill Maher’s TV show last week, suggested that so many young women were getting behind Sanders to meet guys. “When you’re young, you’re thinking, ‘Where are the boys?’ The boys are with Bernie,” she said. Not surprisingly, there was backlash from young women everywhere — and Steinem quickly apologized.

Yet despite the fact that countless female millennials have rallied behind Sanders, the obnoxious “Bernie bro” has taken on a mythological status in the media, which irks many women — even Bernie supporters. “Not every guy that supports Bernie is a ‘Bernie bro’,” says Hammond. She defines them as “someone who, when you say you’re supporting Hillary, tells you you’re voting with your vagina. I’ve seen lots of comments like that on Reddit. They love to mansplain and to tell you how if you support Hillary, you’re falling for a conspiracy.”

Just ask any number of women out there — it can be hard dating a Bernie bro right now. “When my boyfriend says he doesn’t like Hillary, I feel like if I say anything, it’s a fight waiting to happen,” says Amy, a Brooklyn writer. “You can’t tell if people are hating on her out of misogyny or for objective reasons. My boyfriend says things like, ‘She bugs me; her manner. She seems like such a politician, the way she talks. She’s dishonest.’ That type of thing. But I think she’s not any more those things than other male candidates, and in fact, she seems cooler under pressure than most men.”

But Amy says she mostly avoids mixing it up with her boyfriend on this topic because it takes her down a wormhole of gender frustration: “It’s like trying to explain male privilege to someone while giving them more privilege while you do it so they don’t feel that their privilege is being threatened, which is exactly what Hillary has to do all the time. I feel like I’ll never get out of the loop of humoring men so they won’t feel threatened!”

But if you think women are feeling oppressed by Bernie bros, just try being a millennial Hillary bro. “I don’t want my trendy Bernie friends yelling at me,” says J.B., 31, a journalist, who also lives Brooklyn. Thankfully, he, his girlfriend, and most of their close friends are Hillaristas, he said — and somewhat subdued about it. “Bernie supporters are so public and loud online,” he says. “A guy friend texted me, ‘Why does everyone hate Hillary? I love her.’ I feel like we Hillary guys are hiding in caves until the storm blows past.”

And he adds another thought: “Voting for Hillary is like being in a long-term relationship, while being for Bernie is liking falling in love.”

Then we have the also awkward position of the female millennial Hillarista. May, 31, a progressive communications guru, feels torn between Hill and Bern, but ultimately thinks Hill would make a better president. “That definitely makes me feel more conservative than I see myself,” she says. “But I see it as thinking pragmatically, seeing Hillary as a progressive that gets things done, as she calls herself.”

Even in the gay male world, often seen stereotypically as being 100 percent for Hillary because she supposedly reminds gay men of their indomitable mothers, Hill vs. Bern sentiment is stirring up trouble. In New York, Tom Jackson, 35, a co-founder of the popular Gayletter site, and Edgar (last name withheld for professional reasons), 30, a designer, are hardcore besties. “But our friendship level goes from a 10 down to a 7 or 8 once we start talking about this,” says Edgar, who supports Hillary. “I would do anything for her,” he gushes —while Tom, meanwhile, “#FeelsTheBern.”

“If we are drinking wine, it can get messy,” says Tom. “Hillary will probably win, and I am okay with that if Edgar wants to gloat.”

The two men placed a bet on who would win Iowa. The loser had to cook the winner dinner.

“Tom is going to have to come over and cook me dinner Sunday night,” Edgar says.

But Tom sees it differently. “I mean,” he says, “she barely won. Let’s call it a draw. You make the appetizers and I’ll make the main.”

As for Hammond, thankfully, her boyfriend is also a Hillary supporter, so she doesn’t really have to consider dating a Bernie bro she may be attracted to. But, she concedes: “Maybe you could go home with a Bernie bro.”

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