Hilary Duff Talks Motherhood, the Unique Gift She Receives Every Mother's Day and More—Exclusive!

Why not, do what you want this Mother's Day? Hilary Duff is—and she's encouraging other parents to do the same.

After an admittedly "insane" day last year, the How I Met Your Father star, 35, is keeping true to her vow to get away this Mother's Day.

Speaking to Parade in an exclusive interview, Carter's Chief Mom Officer says she wants to "encourage more parents to feel empowered enough to say they don't want to be with their kids like all of Mother's Day, or they don't want to be on all day and responsible for everything," because as she pointed out, "We just do so much."

Duff became a mom in 2012 with the birth of her son Luca, whom she shares with her ex-husband, Mike Comrie. She also has two daughters, Mae, 2, and Banks, 4, with her husband Matthew Koma. 

"I am truly as hands-on as I can be, but also it gets to be too much sometimes," the mom of three confesses. While motherhood can be hard, it's the "most rewarding" journey for the Lizzie McGuire alum. It's also taught Duff just how capable she is.

"Sometimes Matt and I look at each other and we're like, 'How are we keeping three kids alive? Like, we're not old enough to handle some of these days,'" she laughs. "Some of the days are so crazy. But I think it just empowers you. I think I feel really empowered as a mom of three and I feel super capable and I feel super lucky."

The "Why Not" singer adds, "I really love that I have a career and I have a life outside of motherhood, but it is a huge portion of my identity, and I don't think I would have it any other way."

Continue reading for more from Parade's exclusive interview with Hilary Duff, including the most important lesson she can teach her children and whether she has anything from her Lizzie McGuire days for her daughters...

What does Mother's Day look like in your household?

Last Mother's Day was absolutely insane. Mae was—like a year and some change and it was the most difficult Mother's Day. Everyone basically wanted to be sitting on my lap. No one was happy. It was just like madness. And, of course, you know, you expect to have those days as a parent, but I vowed to myself that I was going away next Mother's Day and I actually am. I'm so excited. So it does look like a lot of love and like cards that were made, and flowers to the house, and then like the meal that we had...like it just fell apart. It was insane. We tried to have a nice brunch with my mom, and it was a tough one. Not gonna lie. Not ideal.

Where are you going this weekend? Anywhere tropical?

Oh, not somewhere tropical. We're going somewhere really dry. We're going to Palm Springs. Three of my girlfriends and I, we're spending half the day with our families and then we're driving to Palm Springs for a little staycation.

It's gonna be like 102 degrees and we just want to be in a pool and order room service and max relax.

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That's a nice little break from being at home.

It really is. I'm excited and I want to like encourage more parents to feel empowered enough to say they don't want to be with their kids like all of Mother's Day, or they don't want to be on all day and responsible for everything because we just do so much.

Yeah, I think parents need to prioritize themselves [too] and put themselves first sometimes because if you're not going to take care of yourself, how can you take care of your family?

Totally, and it's said all the time- and it's hard because as a mother, I want to give my kids everything. I'm obsessed with them. I don't want to miss any moments. I am truly as hands-on as I can be, but also it gets to be too much sometimes, you know, and everybody needs some time to focus on themselves and to alleviate your brain from all of the planning and trying to make everyone happy and the meals and the packing of the lunches and getting dressed and brushing teeth and bedtime routine and books and baths and park time, and it's a lot. It's so, so, so much and if it's just like one day out of the year, it should be Mother's Day [laughs] to be like I'm not doing anything. But you can't really do that at your house because we're just designed to be like, "Oh, they're crying. Time to jump in. Time to get in there. Time to like, you know, figure it out." It's really tough.

You're going away this year, but do you have any Mother's Day traditions that you, the kids and Matthew like to participate in every year?

I will say one thing that Matthew always does with Luca, which is so, so sweet, is the night before Mother's Day, [Matt] and Luca disappear for a few hours and they make me a little comic book and it's always like a supermom... Luca's really into comics, and so he does a three or four-page comic book where there's some kind of plot and then I end up saving the day. Like "supermom saves the day" and it's so cute.

That is such a sweet and personal gift... Can you tell us five things that are on your Mother's Day wish list?

I'm not looking for like any gifts this year because I'm leaving. So that's a tough one. I guess if I was not leaving, I would look for a dinner out with my girlfriends or a massage at the spa. I might look for a piece of jewelry, a reservation at like a tennis court. Maybe a nice robe.

What do you like to give your fellow mom friends for Mother's Day?

Sometimes I'll give them flowers. I'll send a couple bouquets around to some of my best friends, or someone that I know [has] had a particularly tough year, if they're like a new mom or something like that. I've alleviated myself from that pressure this year. I'm gonna send out a bunch of text messages of  "I love you" and "You're doing a great job." And I truly think that's enough. All of my mom friends are so spread thin, that no one expects another mom to do something for them.

But I think nice words of affirmation and just a sweet text like "I'm thinking about you and you're crushing it" is perfectly fine. I did do something really cute one year. I sent to maybe like 10 or 12 friends, sweatsuits that I had embroidered that said on the back of them... like goddess, warrior, mother, lover, friend. It was really cute. But I have three kids now, so I don't do those types of things anymore [laughs].

How would you describe yourself as a mom?

Playful... I would describe myself as a playful mom. I would describe other moms and myself as, like, endless. That's a good word of just, you know, we seem to have this never-ending well of love and patience and heart to give to our kids. And I think that just comes along with having [a child] and loving them and watching them grow. There's always a need and I think that mothers are very, very endless.

How do you think your kids would describe you?

I think it depends on which one you're asking. But I think Luca thinks he has a really fun mom because I am really playful with him. I also think that I'm the disciplinarian around here, so I have like two sides to me.

You became a mom for the first time over a decade ago. All these years later, does motherhood still surprise you every day?

Oh yeah. I mean, I don't know if motherhood surprises me every day, but my kids surprise me every day. There are multiple times a day where I'm just like enamored by something that one of them is doing or has said, you know, the way that their brain has formed some thought and it's come out of their mouth and you're like, "Whoa, what?" I feel like it stops you in your tracks. Kids are so amazing. It's a journey every day and it's really hard, but it's the most rewarding.

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What has it taught you about yourself?

Just how capable I am. I mean, sometimes Matt and I look at each other and we're like, "How are we keeping three kids alive? Like, we're not old enough to handle some of these days" [laughs] Some of the days are so crazy. But I think it just empowers you. I think I feel really empowered as a mom of three and I feel super capable and I feel super lucky... I really love that I have a career and I have a life outside of motherhood, but it is a huge portion of my identity, and I don't think I would have it any other way.

What do you think is the most important lesson you can teach your children?

Kindness. I think that's the most important thing. That's like a really long conversation, but I think at the end of the day, it boils down to just having respect for others and just to lead with kindness.

One hundred percent... You're Carter's first-ever Chief Mom Officer. I feel like that's a role other parents can relate to. What makes that title special?

Oh my gosh, well, I have to tell you that since I can remember, my mom dressed me in Carter's and it's such a staple in families that are starting or that have been having kids for years and years. It's just like this very beloved brand. So it was definitely an honor for them to choose me and to get to be creative in designing a couple of different seasons for them. It was really fun...

...They've never had a Chief Mom Officer. I don't even know if they've ever done a partnership like this before. So again- I was super honored that they chose me, and aren't we all the Chief Mom Officers of our households? I do think it's very relatable. I think most moms run the show, you know, and keep everything afloat in their household. So it was a very cute title. And I took it really seriously because that's the most important job in my life.

But getting to work with them has been really fun and to think that a piece of clothing that I designed could hold special moments in a parent's life forever. I mean, at least once or twice a year, I go into my attic and I'm either filling up bins with like pieces of clothing I don't want to get rid of because it was like a special moment or it was like Banks wore it and then Mae wore it, or Luca wore it and then Banks wore it. Clothes hold a lot of meaning and kind of capture a moment in time that was special to you, and to think that I get to be a part of someone's family like that is really warming.

You launched your first collection for Carter's last year. Are you working on a new one?

So the spring collection that is out is the last collection that I'm doing with them, as of now.

Did your kids provide inspiration for these capsule collections?

Oh, for sure. Yeah, I would say that Mae was definitely a very big inspiration. It's so fun to have girls and to get to design with them in mind and kind of like how I like to dress them. But, you know, a couple [of] other things too. I was like "Oh my God, I haven't had a little boy in such a long time." So it was really fun to do and just thinking about my friends' kids and how they dress them and it was a really nice collaborative partnership with Carter's. They were great and let me have a lot of like free rein on coming up with the direction for the collections and kind of like the spirit... It was really fun.

Now Mae's probably too young, but does Banks like to dress up like you, or does she have her own individual style?

Oh my god, Banks likes- well, she does love to put dresses on. Last night I had to wear a gown and she went and put a princess dress on and she was like, "I want to come with you." And I was like, "Oh my God, you can't come. It's like an adult event." It was so sad, but she was cute. She wanted to get dressed up beside me and put makeup on and it was really cute, but her own style is very loud right now. It's like all the brightest colors. All the pink. All the purple. Very different from me. I let her go. I let her do her thing.

I'm getting to have still a little bit more control over what Mae wears, but now that she's kind of copying everything Banks is doing, it's gonna be very short-lived.

Did you keep any outfits or accessories from your Lizzie [McGuire] days that you plan on sharing with your girls one day?

You know what, I don't have specific outfits that I wore on the show anymore. I have some stuff from my music, like my touring. So my touring outfits. And I have some merch. I have some funny Lizzie McGuire backpacks. They have, like, feathers on them... I had a clothing line for a while when I was younger, I have some of that stuff, but not too much and I really don't- I do work very hard to just be mom in the house. Like of course they're aware of my career, but I don't really want them running around with like [laughs] my face on their T-shirt, you know? Banks already makes me blast my music and it's very sweet, but it also can be embarrassing, so I'm trying to steer clear of that.

Hilary Duff and Carter's want to motivate parents to "get what they want out of this Mother's Day," so they are encouraging parents to share what they want on Instagram and tag them for the chance to have Carter's help make it happen.

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

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