Clever Halloween Puns That Will Give You *Pumpkin* to Talk About

Whoever says that Halloween has to be scary is just plain ol' wrong. Our proof lies in this list of absolutely hilarious Halloween puns! Save the chills, thrills, and everything in between for later, and bask in a holiday full of treats and laughs! Below, you'll find a list of not-so-spooky dad jokes, one-liners, clever Halloween jokes and ghost jokes. Sure, they touch on the usual things that make your skin crawl: Vampires, zombies, witches, and more, but they do so in a way that will make you laugh.

Whether you're in the market for pun Halloween costume inspiration or a cute idea for your Halloween Instagram captions, these options will make your friends and family Hallo-scream with laughter! So, what are you waiting for? It doesn't have to be Halloween night for you to enjoy a good, spooky laugh! Anyone who celebrates the holiday at the start of October will want to keep these Halloween jokes in their back pocket, in addition to fun Halloween quotes. It's the best way to get into the spooky spirit, next to watching scary movies and listening to Halloween songs, of course.

Halloween Puns

little children in halloween costumes
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  • I do my hair with scare spray on Halloween.

  • I’ve got every trick or treat in the book!

  • It's the most wonderful time of fear.

  • I couldn't scare less about your costume.

  • You need a spoo-key to enter this haunted house.

  • A vampire's favorite fruit is a blood orange.

  • I can't wait to see what my horror-scope says this Halloween!

  • Why doesn’t Frankenstein dance? He’s got two left feet.

  • How do you spell relief? M-A-G-I-C.

  • I'm looking for a boo that's just my (blood) type.

  • Hope you're feeling spook-tacular!

  • All the ghosts looked boo-tiful this Halloween.

  • I'm always creepin' it real.

  • Screaming my way into Halloween.

  • You look a lot like the mummy of the year.

  • I have a bone to pick with all the skeletons tonight.

  • Halloween is the one time I'll ask you to come as your aren't.

  • Is it even Halloween if you didn't get tricked at least once?

  • Happy Howl-oween!

  • The vampire and his wife were love at first bite.

  • Make sure you tell the bunny to have a Hoppy Halloween!

  • Live, laugh, scare.

  • Howl you doing this Halloween?

  • Orange you glad you dressed up for Halloween?

  • Those costumes are scary good.

  • Eat, drink, trick.

  • You know what I like to say: bugs and hisses.

  • Have yourself the happiest of Hollow-weens!

  • Skeletons don't have the guts to dress up as anything for Halloween.

  • All tricks, no treats.

  • This Halloween is going to be absolutely fang-tastic!

  • A cutie that's a little spooky.

  • Happy Halloween to my Hallow-queen.

  • You're my fiend for life.

  • My costume is eerie-sistible.

  • Having a howling good time!

  • Fangs for the memories.

  • Happy Hallo-weenie!

  • Time to get this party startled!

  • Bat to the bone.

Pumpkin Puns

child holding a halloween pumpkin over their face
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  • Who else is pumped for Halloween?

  • My favorite movie is Gourd of the Rings.

  • I think it's clear that I love pumpkin spice a latte.

  • It's easy to repair a broken jack-o'-lantern: Just use a pumpkin patch!

  • Carving out some time for Halloween fun.

  • Squash goals.

  • You are the pick of the patch!

  • Go big or gourd home!

  • Feeling gourd, like I should.

  • Slipped on a pumpkin today. It caught me off gourd.

  • Welcome to the pun-kin patch!

  • Pumpkin spice and everything nice.

  • Let's give 'em pumpkin to talk about.

  • You don't know jack-o'-lantern.

  • Waaay ahead of the carve!

  • Lookin' gourd-geous!

  • I only have pumpkin pies for you.

  • Having a gourd of a time!

  • Keep calm and pumpkin on.

  • Let's pumpkin spice things up.

  • Life is gourd.

  • The Pun-kin King of Halloween!

  • You're the pumpkin of my eye.

  • I will gourd my candy with my life!

  • My costume really struck a gourd with me this year.

  • What's a math teacher's favorite Halloween treat? Pumpkin pi.

  • Oh my gourd-ness, it's finally Halloween!

Witch Puns

girl dressed as witch, holding pumpkin and broom, portrait
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  • Witch way to the pumpkin patch?

  • Grab your broomstick so we can make a clean getaway.

  • You've got me under your spell.

  • Beware of Resting Witch Face.

  • Halloween's not the same if I can't be witch you.

  • Hope your Halloween is hex-tra special.

  • Witch upon a star.

  • Here I am, warts and all.

  • Witchful thinking.

  • Keep calm and carry a wand.

  • If the broom fits!

  • Wicked awesome.

  • Be-witcha in a second!

  • Looking brew-tiful tonight!

  • Witching you a Happy Halloween.

  • Witch and famous.

  • Everything I brew, I brew for you.

  • Witcha up to?

  • It's a brew-tiful day for eating tons of candy.

  • Feeling witchy.

  • Can't always get what you wand.

Candy Puns

bowl of candy corn
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  • You're going to Snicker after hearing all of my Halloween puns.

  • Come Halloween, it's Crunch time.

  • A cat's favorite candy is a Kit Kat.

  • No matter what costumes they wear, when the Halloween candy comes out, everyone is a goblin!

  • I will gourd this candy with my life!

  • Witch better have my candy.

  • This will definitely come in candy.

  • The Halloween candy is spook-tacular.

  • I'm not playing Twix when I say I love this holiday.

  • Twix or treat!

  • Halloween makes me so (candy) corny.

  • Don't go goblin up all my candy.

  • Hope your Halloween is full of Snickers and (Almond) Joy!

  • I can't Reese-ist a good Halloween pun.

  • Starbursting to eat all this candy.

  • Halloween night Pop Rocks my world.

  • Your costume is so realistic that it's un-candy!

  • I won't let you slip through my Butter Fingers.

  • I did some exorcise to prepare for all this candy.

Skeleton Puns

young woman with santa muerte make up and disguise holding skull at halloween party
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  • The skeleton's costume is so hip!

  • Bone-jour.

  • Most skeletons are funny because they know how to tickle your funny bone.

  • Spine on the dotted line.

  • This is a hip joint.

  • No body won the skeleton race.

  • Laughing 'til I'm coffin.

  • Lazy bones.

  • Do you play the trom-bone?

  • Why was the skeleton sad? He had no body to trick-or-treat with.

  • Bone to be wild.

  • Halloween is going to be great—I can feel it in my bones!

  • I have one thing to say about this candy: Bone appétit!

  • Just try to skele-run from my skele-puns.

  • I'd tell you a joke, but you might not find it very humerus.

  • It's time to have some skele-fun.

Ghost Puns

ghost costume for halloween party
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  • Diamonds are a ghoul's best friend.

  • Ghosts love elevators because it lifts their spirits.

  • I think I have deja-boo.

  • Romeo and Ghouliet.

  • Why did the ghost cross the road? Because it was a poultry-geist.

  • Boo, Felicia.

  • It's time to boo-gie!

  • You're boo-tiful!

  • You're my best ghoul-friend.

  • If you've got it, haunt it.

  • Where do ghosts go shopping? A boo-tique!

  • The ghost-ess with the mostest.

  • Looking fa-boo-lous.

  • Boo-yah!

  • Get in the Halloween spirits!

  • Ghouls just want to have fun.

  • What's a ghost's favorite dessert? I-scream.

  • Demons are a ghoul's best friend.

  • Where my ghouls at?

  • Shake your boo-ty!

  • Here for the boos.

  • Squad ghouls.

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