My Hijab Empowers Me to Experiment With Beauty

After spending hours dyeing my strands perfectly to get just the right shade of blue, I run my hands through my hair one last time before I look in the mirror and smile in satisfaction. The light bounces off my newly transformed midnight blue hair as it falls in waves below my shoulders. I take a few seconds to admire my hair, before putting it up in a tight bun and wrapping my black pashmina scarf over my head, hiding any trace of blue before stepping outside.

I’m a Muslim woman who wears a hijab, yet I love experimenting with my hair. This isn’t the first time I’ve colored my hair a playful new hue or used an array of curlers and hair straighteners — despite the fact that nobody in the outside world gets to see it. I always get surprised reactions when I tell anyone about my latest transformation, and many people ask why. “Why would you dye your hair when no one can see it?” or “Doesn’t that ruin that purpose of doing it?” — but for me, that’s all the fun.

My purpose in dyeing my hair is as simple as this: it makes me happy. Experimenting, trying new things, and taking risks are the fun parts for me, despite not being able to show it off. Wearing my headscarf is a part of practicing my religion, but it doesn’t hold me back, nor should it. My headscarf doesn’t restrict me from practicing self-care or looking good — so I’ve never let it come in the way of trying new hair trends. It’s the same way I enjoy using makeup or wearing new fashion trends; the only difference is that my hair is just not visible to you.
 
I’ve spent hours straightening my hair or burned myself countless times thanks to a curling wand but I always find it worth it when I see the finished look, even if it’s just for me to parade around the house in or take several cute selfies. The first time I decided to try something bold with my hair was when I attempted to dye it purple by myself. It resulted in several splotches all over the washroom, two empty bottles of dye, and hair that was still not purple (but I did achieve a slight red shade). It pushed me to try more things and find what really worked for my hair, without the fear of screwing up.

Here’s a little secret: I like the fact that nobody gets to see my hair. It’s the reason why I’m so bold with colors and cuts, because nobody gets to see it or judge it, so it’s all simply for myself — and that’s the the way I like it. We’ve all had those hair disaster moments when a simple “trim” turns into a cut much shorter than anticipated. Luckily for me, I don’t have to stress over hiding a terrible new hairdo. I don’t have to worry about any minor or massive screw-ups being made public, so I go forth with my hair ideas confidently. That’s why I’ve tried everything from blue hair to an angled short bob and bangs.

After doing this for years, I’ve come to realize that beauty is what you like on yourself and what makes you happy because yes — inner and outer beauty are both connected. If I feel good, it’s visible on my face and if I look good, it shines through in my personality. My blue hair is my little secret, and what makes it special to me is that it’s hidden and only done to make myself happy.

Overall, it’s a healthy practice to do things for yourself — and coloring my hair despite wearing a headscarf is my own way of doing that. I’ll continue dyeing my hair as long as I enjoy it, and who knows what color or length it will be in a few months from now? I do know this: it’ll be a color that will make me damn happy, and that expression on my face is something you’ll surely see.

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