What Is a “Hey Mamas” Lesbian and Why Are They All Over TikTok?
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All across sapphic TikTok, people have started using the term “hey mamas lesbian.” If that phrase looks like gibberish to you, we're here to help.
According to how the term is used online, “Hey mamas” lesbians can be distinguished by their fashion (think snapback, sports jersey, and long hair in a bun to show off their undercut) and exaggerated masc swagger, i.e. posting thirst traps on social media of them biting their bottoms lips and saying “hey mamas” to a theoretical femme on the other side of the camera.
While the term is fairly new and originated on TikTok in 2020, it has quickly gripped online sapphic spaces, becoming a way to poke fun at cringey lesbians who fit the bill. But if you're planning to use the term yourself, it’s important to understand its deeper nuances. Some have criticized people who use the term to make fun of all masc-of-center queers more broadly, erasing the history and importance of butches, studs, and mascs in lesbian spaces.
To better understand what the term means, read on for answers to some common questions: What is a “hey mamas” lesbian? Is “hey mamas lesbian” a controversial term?
What is a “hey mamas” lesbian?
The term was coined in 2020 after a group of lesbians posted a thirst trap to TikTok — the “hey mamas” heard around the world, if you will. According to Know Your Meme, the since-deleted video featured a group of mostly-white, masc lesbians in different sports bras, headbands, and snapbacks saying “hey mamas” to flirt with the camera. While it can be impossible to pin down the exact person who first uttered the phrase — as with much of ephemeral internet lore — it undeniably made its way into queer lexicon after the video went viral.
Since then, calling someone a “hey mamas” lesbian has become shorthand for calling out masc lesbians of a certain aesthetic and personality. Many of them are sporty lesbians with long hair often thrown up in a top knot with a headband or snapback, perhaps with an undercut. Usually, they wear sports bras, jerseys, gold chains, and sneakers.
The beauty of butchness is that it’s expansive, and captures a certain j*e ne sais quoi* only a butch can embody.
Colloquially, there seem to be a few noticeable differences between a “hey mamas” lesbian and any other type of masc lesbian. The first is that the “hey mamas” shorthand tends to be used to describe white and other non-Black lesbians who adopt the aesthetics and language of Black and brown masc lesbians, often taking on a persona that feels inorganic and inauthentic at best, and appropriative at worst. (Lesbians of color who might fit some of the aesthetic description of a “hey mamas” are almost never referred to with this phrase.) Secondly, the term is usually used to refer to lesbians who fit a specific version of queer masculinity, rather than masc lesbians like butches, studs, and other masc-of-center sapphics.
If you’re still having trouble parsing through the difference, here are some visual examples of the difference: A leather-wearing biker butch with a buzz cut probably wouldn’t be labeled a “hey mamas” lesbian; a long-haired futch in a white undershirt wearing a Phillies hat who likes to bite their lower lip and post thirst traps would be.
Is “hey mamas lesbian” a controversial term?
As previously stated, several creators have called out “hey mamas” lesbians for appropriating Black and brown queer aesthetics, putting on blaccents, and sometimes even calling themselves racially specific terms like stud or stemme, which only refer to Black sapphics. Using the term to call out this type of lesbian isn’t necessarily controversial. What many consider problematic is when the term gets unfairly applied to masc lesbians of color and studs who are just minding their business and posting on social media.
Another critique of the term is that without context, young people who hear it might demonize masc lesbians as a whole if they don’t know how to distinguish between the wince-inducing performativity of a “hey mamas” and the confidence of a masc queer. Being a “hey mamas” lesbian is not interchangeable with being a masc-of-center sapphic, so don’t throw it around as a phrase that holds the same significance as “butch” or “stud.”
“Hey mamas” is not an identity label; it's usually meant to poke fun at people, so think about what you mean before you choose to call someone that. If you’re using it to call out a non-Black masc using broken AAVE, that's one thing. But if you’re simply trying referring to confident masc doing their thing, it’s time to reconsider your own choices, mama.
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