Here's What It's Like Inside A Swanky, Adults-Only Cruise Ship
I had never been on a cruise before because I assumed I would hate it. What I expected: bad food, screaming children, crowded pools, the smell of chlorine (because of said crowded pools), and bad drinks with a guaranteed side of hangover.
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I'm speaking my truth.
What I got aboard Valiant Lady, Virgin Voyages' newest cruise ship: fantastic food, top-tier entertainment, an incredibly curated space, and awesome cocktails.
I thoroughly enjoyed it. Here's why.
I took the maiden voyage of the seven-night ~Irresistible Med~ cruise that docked in Barcelona, Toulon, Marina di Carrara, Ajaccio, Cagliari, and Ibiza. TLDR: I saw Spain, Italy, and France in the span of a week.
Here's the nitty gritty. This is an adults-only, all-inclusive package where all meals, entertainment, gratuity, workout classes, and non-alcoholic drinks are baked into your price. Flights and alcohol are not included (we'll get to the latter in a bit).
Once you're booked, download the Virgin Voyages app: This is where you can book excursions, make reservations, etc. The app is seamless and easy to use!
After boarding, each sailor is given a wristband that can be used for in-ship purchases which I really loved because it meant I didn't need to carry a purse.
COVID policies: My trip in May 2022 required that every passenger be fully vaccinated and present a negative COVID test taken within 48 hours of boarding. Their policies have recently changed in accordance with CDC guidelines — 90% of passengers will be fully vaccinated (no pre-boarding testing required), and 10% can be unvaccinated and can only board if they present a negative test taken within 24 hours. Unvaccinated travelers need to call or email to book. All crew remains fully vaccinated.
There are three basic cabin types: Insider ($1,842), Sea View ($2,090), and Sea Terrace ($2,337). A major note is that there's always some kind of pricing special — you can currently snag a terrace room for $1,753, for example.
All of the rooms aboard this ship are cleverly designed to feel as spacious as possible, with limited (but functional) furniture and compact bathrooms.
The Insider room is your most basic accommodation; there are no windows, but soothing lighting and funky decor make up for it. The Sea View and Sea Terrace rooms are both ocean-facing, with the former having a window and the latter having a private terrace and hammock. I stayed in the Sea Terrace room, and 'twas lovely!
There's also ~lock it in~ rates which are $1,299. They're non-refundable but guarantee you a sea terrace room (you just won't know the exact cabin until closer to your sail date). It's very similar to a Hot Rate hotel in that way.
There are over 20 restaurants, each with a premium feel that requires reservations. And the food = genuinely awesome.
I associate all-inclusive cruises with fluorescent lighting and basic menus (is that mean of me?), but that was not the case aboard the Valiant Lady. All of their restaurants and accompanying menus are thoughtfully curated to rival, well, a restaurant that you would want to visit on land.
My favorite spots were Pink Agave (for tacos and an impressive mezcal selection) and The Wake (fancy schmancy with lobster, steak, and crab on the menu). I also *loved* Razzle Dazzle, a veggie-forward spot with inventive selections: Think a banana blossom "fish" dish and green tea cheesecake for desert. The cocktails were also unique — I drank bourbon from a popcorn box, for reference.
Reservations can be made on the Virgin Voyages app. You can start booking once your cruise departs; you won't have trouble getting reservations per se, but if you want primetime dinner (7:30 p.m., etc.), then definitely make them in advance!
If you're not in the mood for fancy sit-down grub, there's a food hall on the upper deck that's opened 24/7 and is packed with options from pho and sushi to burgers and pizza. You can come here for breakfast, too.
While food is included in your cruise price, alcohol is not — and that’s kind of a good thing.
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I have a phantom headache from the mere thought of all-inclusive drinks. Diluted alcohol packed with sugar, sugar, and more sugar, swirled together in a pitcher that is then served to me with a paper straw in a semi-fancy glass. I don’t mean to sound like a snob (I swear, I’m not, okay?), but there is nothing worse than a bad cocktail. I’ve come to a point in my life where I’d much rather pay for a solid beverage than drink the $2 Applebee’s special. Sorry, Applebee’s.
So, while you’ll have to pay per drink aboard the Valiant Lady, it’s evident that a lot of tender love and care has been put into menus, ingredients, and bartender training. Drink prices vary based on where you are on the cruise ship — I paid $16 for two glasses of champagne in The Manor club and $13 for a frozen watermelon cocktail at the pool on Richard's Rooftop.
You can schedule off-boat excursions dubbed “Shore Things.”
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The Virgin Voyages app makes researching and scheduling your off-boat excursions a breeze. I took a bus tour through Prunelli and ate cheese in the French countryside for one excursion; I also booked a private tour in a red Fiat and toured Tuscany, sampled red and white in an old wine cellar, and then walked around Florence to end my afternoon.
One caveat with Shore Things: They’re pricey. The Prunelli tour was $90 per person, and the private Fiat tour was nearly $290 per person. Gratuity is baked into that price as well as transportation — after docking, there's an organized system that gets all sailors to the proper bus. The buses take you to and from each excursion, which can be an hour and a half away depending on which one you've chosen.
Are they expensive? Yes. But they're super fun, very well organized, and worth the money if you can swing it.
And while the food is awesome, the cocktails are great, and the Shore Things are well-curated, entertainment is the secret sauce that makes Valiant Lady spectacular.
I'm not exaggerating when I say that there is endless entertainment.
I attended a sex comedy show called Never Sleep Alone, a popular NYC-based performance that had me doubled over in laughter. There was an impressive acrobatic performance inspired by Romeo & Juliet. I nearly jumped out of my seat multiple times because of how intricate the stunts were (think Cirque du Soleil vibes), and the man next to me cried because of how beautiful it was.
In additional to scheduled performances, there was constantly live music, and it felt like every corridor you walked through had something fun to offer. All performances are included in your price, and you can make reservations for each show in the app.
In the same realm of entertainment: I thought the highlight of my trip would be visiting gorgeous coastal cities. I was wrong. The highlight of my seven-day vacation was Scarlet Night.
AnaMaria Glavan / BuzzFeed
What is Scarlet Night, you ask? It's a rooftop pool party that's held at least once during every Valiant Lady cruise — and it's iconic. There are performers on each other's shoulders, everyone is encouraged to jump into the pool, costumes and accessories are handed out. It's like Project X (does anyone remember that movie?), except you're on a moving boat.
We kept the party going by moving to The Manor, the on-site club. Important note: The Scarlet Night party was cleverly scheduled for when we wouldn't dock until the following evening, aka you could give yourself permission to really rest up the morning after.
And the itinerary itself is *muah*. Every docking port was more stunning than the next — my two favorite stops were Toulon, France, and Ibiza, Spain.
I was nervous that we wouldn't have ample time in each location...but that was not the case. Each city had a ton to see but remained small enough that you could cover it in a day. The exception would have been Ibiza...but we actually docked there by 7 p.m. and had until 6 p.m. the following day, aka the itinerary was cleverly designed to give us additional time in a more sprawling city (with incredible nightlife).
Pictured above is the gorgeous coastal town of Toulon, France.
Now that I’ve given you a lay of the land (intentional pun), let me walk you through quirky details that make this ship such a unique experience.
AnaMaria Glavan / BuzzFeed
Every inch of this ship is jam-packed with something to do. Highlights include:
- a pizza parlor
- an ice cream shop
- a tattoo parlor (I chickened out)
- a million and one lounge areas and cozy corners
- an old time-y dinner serving up hot dogs and boozy milkshakes
- a salon for manicures, pedicures, and blowouts
- a casino
- a nightclub with a cool Instagram-ready entrance (see sparkly gif above)
- a rooftop pool
- a vintage arcade room
- cool art murals galore
- outdoor workout areas and a rooftop running track (NOTE: I did not partake)
- multiple shops with boutique-y clothing, toiletries, designer handbags, etc.
If you're looking for a premium, adults-only cruise that lets you explore multiple countries in one swoop, I sincerely recommend Virgin Voyages' Valiant Lady and ~The Irresistible Med~ jaunt through Europe. Again: This opinion is coming from someone who thought she would hate cruising.
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BuzzFeed was provided this ticket free of charge; however, we were under no obligation to give a positive review.
