Here's What 'Love Is Blind' Got Right About Nigerian Weddings, Per An Expert
Love Is Blind certainly did not disappoint the third time around, especially when it came to presenting fans with five fabulous weddings to oooh and aaaah over. ICYMI, the show follows singles who meet and date each other while separated by a wall in pods. They agree to get married (sight unseen) within a month, and then have to make it work in the real world.
While all the weddings were beautiful, data engineer Sikiru "SK" Alagbada, 34, and Raven Ross, a 29-year-old Pilates instructor, planned a truly special event that blended the couple's American and Nigerian backgrounds, and it was nothing short of magical. Unfortunately, SK left Raven hanging at the altar, and these two did not officially tie the knot during the beautiful ceremony, but more on that later.
Reality television drama aside, the wedding scene gave viewers a fabulous inside look at some rich wedding customs from SK's home country. But did the show present an accurate depiction of a traditional Nigerian event? As everyone knows, reality TV can sometimes...oversimplify complicated concepts and nuanced conversations.
So, Women's Health is unpacking SK and Raven's wedding to see what this show got right and wrong about Nigerian weddings, with some help from an expert. Nigerian wedding planner Bisola Esiemokhai, who owns Event Design by Be, breaks it all down.
*Note: Esiemokhai has not yet watched this season, but she was briefed on the general events ahead of the episodes' release.
SK wanted Nigerian elements to be present.
Back in October, SK told Women's Health that representing this side of his heritage on the show was important to him—even if they didn't have a lot of time to plan the wedding.
“We did our best given the circumstances and the timeline we had to put like a Nigerian and a little bit of American wedding together in one piece,” he explained. “Given the amount of resources and the amount of time, things had to be flown in from Nigeria and stuff like that, to be able to make it work.”
True to the show's depiction, Nigerian weddings can definitely be extravagant affairs like the one seen on LIB, thanks to their inclusion of live drummers, outfit changes, and tons of dancing, Esiemokhai says.
“A traditional Nigerian wedding embodies lineage, family history, and African culture as a whole,” says Esiemokhai. “They are a pretty big deal.”
He wore traditional Nigerian garments.
The outfit SK wears on his wedding day (which is gorgeous, BTW) is called an agbada, which is the traditional dress for the Yoruba people of southwestern Nigeria. It’s a four-piece garment that is “the most formal attire you can possibly wear,” explains Esiemokhai.
“It’s made out of aso oke, which is the finest materials,” says Esiemokhai. “If you are getting married, many families source the material from Nigeria so it is authentic.”
SK’s outfit was bright with orange and gold tones, which is on par with a typical Nigerian wedding. “Typically, the color scheme is up to the couple,” says Esiemokhai. “The Nigerian culture in general is very vibrant. A couple can choose to wear gold or white but often the nature of who we are, we like bright colors.” Most likely, the colors were a decision SK and Raven made when planning their big day.
A note here, wearing an agbada marks a big occasion in a Nigerian man’s life, says Esiemokhai, and it carries a tremendous emotional and mental weight. Viewers can actually see this in action when SK puts on the garment: This is when he seems to start getting nervous about his impending nuptials.
“I can see him putting on that attire and realizing it’s not just about him anymore. It’s about joining families,” says Esiemokhai. “There is a different level of significance than in an American family. He could be thinking about family, lineage, and the responsibility he has not only to his wife and his family but the bride’s family as well.”
Raven’s family was unable to make the wedding, so it makes one wonder if this may have impacted SK’s decision-making. “He probably wants to do this only once,” adds Esiemokhai.
The bridal party also wore authentic attire.
This, according to Esiemokhai. Usually, the groomsmen will wear a type of kaftan with matching pants and an ornate cap so that everyone looks uniform, so long as no one “upstages the groom,” she adds.
Another fun fashion fact: important friends and family members will all wear aso ebi, or a fabric or garment that matches or complements the bride and groom. You can see that in action with SK’s mom, and Raven's bridesmaids!
Raven wears a traditional headwrap.
Yep, viewers can see her wearing something called a gele at the altar, which is the name of the headwrap that is supposed to mimic a crown. Usually, brides have a professional gele artist come in the day of the event to wrap it, but Raven was lucky in that she had a pro on hand to help with her gele (which looks like it was wrapped ahead of time), thanks to SK’s mom. It was a really sweet bonding moment for these two!
The couple incorporated drumming in the event.
“That’s definitely typical,” says Esiemokhai. “They are called talking drummers; that’s a cultural thing. A talking drummer plays local community songs, another symbolism of tradition and lineage.”
The people playing the drums tend to match the visual aesthetic of the bridal party because these Nigerian wedding planners know how to pull together a theme.
Raven said it was a huge learning curve.
Raven was a newbie when it came to Nigerian culture, and she told Women’s Health there was a “huge learning curve" when they were planning their wedding.
“It was a great experience for me to learn all of that stuff [about Nigerian culture]. It was a lot of things we didn't have time to touch on in the pods because we were getting to know each other, so it was really fun for me to learn all these new things," she says, adding that she got what amounted to "a crash crash course."
And although the outcome was not what she wanted, with SK saying "no" at the altar, Raven is thankful for the experience.
“I thought it was beautiful. Of course it stung a little bit. I was a little shocked and sad obviously, but I would never regret the experience of getting to learn all of that rich tradition. I really respect their culture,” she told WH.
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