Here’s How to Live a Fuller Life, Starting Now
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We have all heard that we should live life to its fullest. But how do you do that? Especially when some days it feels like your to-do list is a mile long and you can't get off the hamster wheel long enough to look around and enjoy. Even if you start projects you enjoy, it can feel impossible to finish them, and you end up with abandoned home improvement projects, countless jigsaw puzzles that are half done, or new hobbies that have been started and ignored. If you think about it, these things can add enjoyment, but they don't speak to your soul—and living a full life is all about connecting to your deep-down self.
So we spoke to wellness experts, therapists, and doctors, each of whom gave advice on what it means to live a fuller life—and tips on how to actually make it stick!
Listen to your inner being.
“Learn to trust and listen to that spirit inside of you that wants nothing more than to direct you closer to the person you are meant to be and the life you are meant to live,” says Kamilah Martin, a nonprofit executive turned consultant focused on empowering Black women through community. “Accepting, even celebrating, the discoveries that show up” is her advice for anyone looking to live a fuller life.
Understand the power of authenticity.
“Being your true, authentic self...allows you to follow your passion,” says Jason Phillips, a licensed therapist. Authenticity is about being true to one's own personality, spirit, or character. “When we don't accept who we are," he continues, "we live life—but it's not to the fullest because we're operating from someone else's perspective and doing what someone else wants us to do.”
"Living life to its fullest means not holding back, having the courage to live the life that is truest and most authentic to each of us—and not the life that is expected of us by others or society,” says Tammie Chang, MD, a board-certified physician and author of the book Boundaries For Women Physicians, which focuses on self-care and avoiding burnout.
Get rid of the “supposed tos.”
“My life for many years was dictated by the ‘supposed tos,’” Martin says. “This is the career I'm supposed to have, the marriage and family I'm supposed to have. This is the way I'm supposed to carry myself. This is how I'm supposed to speak, look, behave.” But when you clear all that away, you’re left with the person you truly want to be. “The joy and fulfillment comes in the journey of releasing and in the confidence of trusting yourself,” she says.
Discover helpful techniques.
Phillips employs what he calls the three A’s: awareness, accountability, and action. “First, have awareness that [you’re] not happy with where [you are]…and want to change something,” he says. “That can come through conversations or an event in your life.” Second, accountability is about being in the driver’s seat. “Take control of this narrative,” Phillips says. “Feel like [you] can control [your] life.” Third, make the change. “Maybe that’s going to therapy. Maybe that’s developing yourself personally. [It’s] whatever you need to do...so that you can now take action and control your life.”
Visualize your future self.
At the Co-Active Training Institute, Chang learned a technique called future self visualization. “[It] takes us to meet ourselves 20 years into the future, and to gain the wisdom of our own older, experienced, and wiser inner selves,” she explains. “Some of the greatest wisdom we have is right there inside of ourselves. Just like getting to know yourself and leaning into your authenticity, letting your inner voice guide you is a way to achieve a fuller life. “The experience empowers us to live in a way that is more full, more in alignment with who we really are, and to give ourselves permission to let go of the ‘shoulds’ in our lives."
Define your core values.
“So many of us struggle to find our meaning, purpose, and anchor in life,” Chang says. Her solution? Uncovering the three to five core values that make you tick. This might seem easier said than done, but Chang has a few questions that can help you explore. “What would you take a stand for? What makes you mad—like mad—and why is that? What are the peak moments of your life until today? What are the common threads between these moments or experiences?” For Phillips, identifying those values is crucial, too, whether it’s gaining financial security or finding a sense of spirituality. “Once you define your values, you can look at your behavior and notice [if] your value is in alignment with your behavior,” he says. “If there's a disconnect, you now have a starting point of where to remedy as opposed to feeling lost and stuck.”
Let beliefs lead to passions.
Once you’ve defined your core principles, you can follow that path to finding things you’re passionate about—in turn, filling your days with what you enjoy. “When we do the things we're passionate about, we can wake up looking forward to the day,” Phillips says. For Martin, that was learning photography recently. “That gift has blossomed into some incredibly beautiful opportunities,” she says. “Leaning into this hobby and passion has brought so much unexpected joy and fulfillment.”
Help someone.
One possible thing to feel passionate about: . “We are wired to experience joy in the serving and helping of others,” Chang says. “It’s the most natural form of experiencing an emotional high.” Giving back can come in a variety of forms, from volunteering your time to donating money. Whatever it is, the cause you choose to support should align with those values you defined earlier.
Strengthen your inner circle.
Adding more fulfillment to your life might also mean seeking out connections with those around you. “Finding your people, the ones who cheer you on and lift you up on a soul-level, is life's work,” Martin says. “Your community is going to be one of the biggest factors to propel you and your dreams forward—or hold you back.” That means you should always be on the lookout for ways to improve your circle, even if it means making a change when that community is no longer serving you. “The older I get, the more important it is for me to really surround myself with the people and energies that bring me growth, safety, and pure joy and peace,” Martin adds.
Seek peace, not happiness.
“Chasing happiness can actually lead to misery,” Martin says. Phillips agrees: “Sometimes we may not be happy on the journey to actually becoming who we are or becoming who we want to be.” A fuller life doesn’t necessarily mean being happy all the time—rather, it’s about being in touch with your inner self and deciding what you need in that moment. Martin suggests letting the happiness come to you instead of doggedly searching for it. “Listen to what life is putting in front of you and lean into the surprising things that bring you true peace,” she says.
Feel all the feelings.
“We are human beings, designed to experience the full range of emotions—good, bad, ugly, scary, and wonderful,” Chang explains. “The deeper we can feel into our daily experience, the more fully we are living in integrity.” She cautions against “dulling our emotions” with mindless activities or substances, because even though they might help numb some of the less pleasant feelings, they ultimately will not lead to personal fulfillment.
Hold no regrets.
"When you come to the end of your life, what is it that will have meant the most to you? To your loved ones? To those you’ve never even met?" says Chang. "Know that you have an impact on countless others throughout your lifetime, and that the ripple effects of you, your being, and your impact, is there. You matter. Make your life on this Earth count. Don’t just go through the motions. What will your life have been all about when you come to the end of yours?"
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