Here's What Coachella Music Festival Is Really Like

Look at any Instagram photos taken at Coachella, and you'd think the annual music festival was an exclusive gathering of celebrities and influencers partying in their wildest boho-chic styles. Those elements are there, of course—how else would those photos happen?—but nobody ever breaks down the real details, like the insane amount of traffic one sits through in order to get to said music festival.

So now that I've weathered the event a few times, I wanted to share everything I've learned—the kind of tips nobody told me going into my first Coachella. Below is a timestamped, no-stone-left-unturned diary of my trip to this year's Coachella weekend one. Whether you're going to weekend two, which starts April 19, or just want to give your #coachella that extra something, this is the guide for you.

Thursday, April 11

12:05 P.M. After a delicious brunch in Los Angeles, my husband, Bill, and I pick up the Chevy Blazer I'll be driving for the weekend. (Full disclosure: Chevrolet loaned us the car gratis.) I don't have a car in New York, so I was looking forward to road tripping out to the desert. All the better that I was doing it in a brand new model—the midsize SUV just came out this year—with all the essentials for a music festival weekend: a full luggage rack system in the trunk to keep the bags from rolling around, several USB ports for all the various things that need charging, and Apple Carplay compatibility for my Coachella playlist. I plug "Palm Desert, California" into the navigation and hit the road.

1:23 P.M. A little over an hour into the drive, and I'm shocked how little traffic there is. The past years I've driven out to the desert has resulted in bumper-to-bumper traffic, but today I'm cruising along. I think the timing must be key—this is the earliest I've ever left. I blast the Coachella 2019 Spotify playlist I made—like I said, that Apple Carplay is clutch on a road trip.

3:32 P.M. We've arrived at our hotel, about a 25-minute drive from the Empire Polo Club grounds where the festival takes place. If you want to stay at a hotel while you're at Coachella, look for somewhere in the greater Palm Springs area as the options in Indio, where the grounds are located, are more limited. My husband and I debate going out for dinner—downtown Palm Springs is a great place to go if you have downtime—but we end up just lounging by the pool and ordering room service instead. With a full weekend ahead, early bedtime is key.

Friday, April 12

6:35 A.M. I wake up before my alarm (thanks, jet lag!) so I use the opportunity to get work done and plan for the day ahead. Coachella weekend is packed with parties, events, and brand activations outside of the festival grounds. You could spend the whole weekend going from thing to thing without actually experiencing the music festival aspect, and many people do. They all sound fun, but I like to see the concerts and I've learned that with the crowds, traffic, limited parking, and distance between parties you can only realistically attend one, maybe two, in a day.

11:22 A.M.: I remember to activate my wristband, which you can do through the Coachella app and must be done in order to get into the festival.

12:33 P.M. Husband and I discuss whether we should take the car or use Lyft to get around. We know we won't be drinking much this weekend—the desert gets so hot all you really want is water—so we choose the car. Lyft is a great resource for those who need a safe ride, but Coachella is already $$$ and those ride shares can add up if you're hopping from place to place.

1:45 P.M. I stop by an event for Tresemme, where celebrity hairstylist Justine Marjan is doing Coachella looks. (For my fellow Bravo fans out there, she's the one responsible for Dorit's blunt ponytails on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.) I choose a beaded accessory that says "dope" because when in Rome! My husband opts to sit in the car instead since the air conditioning and Wi-Fi hotspot allow him to hang out and catch up on work.

3:04 P.M. Hungry, we decide to take full advantage of having a car and head to Sonic Drive-Thru for lunch. We enjoy our limeades and burgers over the center counsel as we plug in directions for the festival.

4:05 P.M. It's still early enough in the day that traffic and parking aren't a problem. We breeze into the lot, scan our wristbands for entry, and go through security screening. I'm pleased to discover that my phone has saved the location of where the car is parked. Way better than wandering around the lot helplessly, like I've done in the past.

5:35 P.M. Once inside the grounds we get the lay of the land, checking out the different food options and art installations before heading to the main Coachella stage to see Kacey Musgrave's set. She kills it, as I knew she would.

7:01 P.M. After Kacey plays, we wander over to Cupcake Vineyards' frozé station. Gorgon City plays on the stage nearby. I'm not familiar with their music, but we stay and watch the set while we enjoy our drink.

8:03 P.M. Back to the main stage area, where we get food and catch Anderson .Paak's high-energy set. People don't talk about the food at Coachella much, but there are lots of options. It's more expensive than eating at home, yes, but nothing I felt was totally prohibitive. I got a slice of pizza; not the most original pick, but it tasted great.

8:25 P.M. The 1975 are up next. Remember when everyone thought the lead singer, Matthew Healy, was dating Taylor Swift? Their music is fun and upbeat; I bop around while I sneak in some people watching. It's harder than you'd think to spot celebrities because, well, everyone's dressed the same. I'm just wearing jean shorts and sneakers, and I feel like the chaperone on the school trip.

9:30 P.M. We attempt to see Diplo, but the crowd is wild. Everyone seems to be drunk—or something else—and people have lost all sense of personal space and boundaries. After getting pushed out of the way and stepped on one too many times, I feel a bit panicked. That claustrophobic feeling only gets worse when the music starts playing, and I want to leave. ASAP. Bill feels the same way. Good thing it's early enough in the night that we're able to make it back to the hotel in time to catch Childish Gambino's set on the YouTube live stream. I was looking forward to seeing him live, but I couldn't hang.

Saturday, April 13

10:14 A.M. I must have been exhausted, because I actually sleep in. I put on my bathing suit and shuffle down to the hotel's Starbucks, get an iced green tea lemonade, and head out to the pool to snag a good seat. It's crowded from about 12 P.M. to 2 P.M., then people start leaving for parties.

2:45 P.M. I shower, get dressed for the day, and drive to an event with Bill. It takes a while to find an open parking space, and then from there we take a shuttle to the estate where the party is taking place. We stay until around 4:30, when the event ends, but there's such a mad rush to the shuttles—again, be warned that people are very shove-y at Coachella—that we decide it's better to just walk the 10 minutes back to the parking lot.

7:21 P.M. By the time we drive to Indio, park the car, and get through security we have just enough time to get to Maggie Rogers' set. She is a queen and one of my favorite performances of the festival.

8:33 P.M. After her set ends we make our way to the main stage to see Weezer, with a quick stop to get Dole Whips on the way. We spend about 30-ish minutes watching, then walk to the Outdoor Stage where Billie Eilish is going to play. (With all the crowds, you have to allow at least 15 minutes to walk back and forth between stages.)

10:01 P.M. Well, Billie was a bust. She was supposed to start playing at 9:35 P.M. but was delayed by over an hour due to technical difficulties. We waited as long as we could, then left for headliner Tame Impala. (Who were amazing, by the way.)

12:15 P.M. We stay until the end of Tame Impala's set, then dash to the car. I'm shocked to see that traffic is super minimal—so rare for a Saturday night festival. My hunch is that a lot of people stayed to see Kid Cudi and Bassnectar's late-night sets.

12:40 P.M. We get to Neon Carnival, one of the biggest after parties at Coachella and probably the best spot for celebrity sighting. I was especially excited to spot a few Vanderpump Rules and The Bachelor people in the crowd, which I guess speaks volumes about my television tastes. I nearly lose my voice from screaming too loud on a ride, so we spend the rest of the time playing carnival games and checking out some of the brand activations from Levi's and LG. We don't get home until after 3 A.M., but it's worth it.

Sunday, April 14

10:30 A.M. Another morning spent sleeping in. I go to the pool and nap. Out of energy and tired of eating junk food all weekend, Bill and I drive to a local organic salad restaurant for lunch instead of going to the parties.

3:31 P.M. Our goal was to get to Lizzo's set, which started at 5:45, but end up stuck in the worst traffic of the weekend. We spend about an hour just sitting in the car on Avenue 49, waiting for our turn to park. It's frustrating, to say the least. At least the Blazer has Wi-Fi—my husband pulls up the Coachella live stream so we can hear the sets while we sit in the car. Not the same as a live show, but it'll do.

7:10 P.M. We make it just in time to see Zedd perform. Katy Perry makes a cameo, but we end up leaving a little early to try and find a pop-up speakeasy we heard opened somewhere on the Coachella grounds.

8:35 P.M. It took some digging—and a quick pitstop to watch Perfume, a K-pop girl group who were incredibly entertaining—before we found Hush Hush tucked inside the Indio Central Market. The theme of the speakeasy is that you're at Studio 54 on New Year's Eve 1979; disco is playing, and at 9 PM they pass around blow horns and hats and countdown like it's midnight. I wish this was a full-time bar, because I would be there every weekend.

9:15 P.M. We go to the rose garden to watch CHVRCHES. I love Lauren Mayberry's voice, and this incredible outfit:

10:25 P.M. We make our way through the masses to get to Ariana Grande's set. The crowd roars as she takes the stage, and I feel grateful to be here.