Helping Bob: How community rallied around man who lived in BK lot
Apr. 6—Leigh Eldridge saw something in the man's eyes.
On June 8, 2023, as she was pulling out of the drive-thru at the Burger King on South Transit Road in Lockport, she spotted him, slumped over in his walker with two plastic bags at his feet.
She stopped, gave him some food and started talking to him.
The conversation set her on a journey she never imagined, resulting in a deep bond with a stranger she'll never forget.
"It was something in my gut," Eldridge said. "I was just very drawn to him. I thought 'maybe he needs help.' I couldn't avoid the feeling to just check on him."
The man, named "Bob," did need help, quite a bit as it turned out.
When she walked over to him and he opened his eyes, Eldridge said a feeling of familiarity came over her.
"I remember the first thing that I noticed is he had crystal blue eyes," she said. "My dad had crystal blue eyes like that. It really took me by surprise. I said 'man, he really looks like my father.'"
THEIR FIRST CONVERSATION
When Eldridge asked Bob if he needed a lift home, he said the Burger King parking lot "was his home."
The pair chatted in the lot for a couple of hours and Bob explained how everyone was real nice to him, bringing him coffee, food and even some money.
"He was very appreciative of all of that, but it still didn't help him out of his station," Eldridge said.
With help from others in the community, Eldridge got Bob a room at a local hotel and some food from the nearby Tops market. She told him, if it was up to her, he'd never spend another night on the streets.
"I came home and called my sister and I just lost it," she said. "It blew my mind that I'm sitting at this plaza and everyone's going about their daily lives and doing their errands and this old man is just sitting there with all of this going on around him."
HELPING BOB
Eldridge learned that Bob, who was 70 when the pair met, grew up in Akron and never got beyond an eighth-grade education. At one time he had an apartment on Robinson Road. He lost it and he also lost contact with friends and family.
Bob distrusted shelter living. Eldridge said he told her he'd been robbed and mistreated before and preferred to go it alone on the streets.
His physical condition wasn't helping him. Bob suffered from some significant health problems, including diabetes and Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease, commonly known as COPD.
"Mentally, he was very sharp and his whole life ... that's all he knew is how to survive and take care of himself," Eldridge said.
With Bob's permission, Eldridge and a friend, Emily Allen, started a GoFundMe account in his name. Donors contributed more than $7,000, enough to put Bob up in a hotel and, eventually, get him an apartment at Urban Park Towers on Main Street. With some leftover money, Bob was also able to get a bed, a lift chair and some appliances. Eldridge said Bob loved cooking and was elated to be able to cook for himself again.
"He was looking forward to eating English muffins. He couldn't wait to eat English muffins," she said.
Mostly Bob just enjoyed sitting in his apartment, listening to the radio and relaxing.
"It just gave him his independence back because that's what he wanted. He didn't want to be told what to do every day," Eldridge said.
A 'MESS' OF A SYSTEM
Beyond issues with his health, Bob had some serious practical problems.
He passed out one day and awoke to find someone stole his shopping cart, his radio and other personal belongings.
The biggest loss: His birth certificate, a main source of valid identification for Americans everywhere.
Without proper identification, in the eyes of the system, Bob wasn't really a person.
"Every avenue you went, it was like 'nope you can't do that,'" Eldridge said. "He had no address. He had no ID."
One of the first things Eldridge had to do for Bob is get his identity back. The process was slow and time-consuming, she said, and it left her wondering how Bob would have ever been able to do it on his own.
"When you go through the process as closely as I did for Bob, it's like, what is going on here, please tell me who is benefiting from all of this?" she said.
Despite all the government programs and public funding devoted to tackling homelessness, Eldridge found more help and support for Bob from residents and private business owners, the community of people who jumped in to help with the cause.
"The whole system is just a mess," she said. "You say 'what the hell is going on?' None of it makes sense."
She said she was struck during the experience by just how few affordable housing options are currently available in the area.
"I think about how hard it was to get Bob into stable living," she said. "That's pretty much handicapped senior housing. It was so hard getting him to that point and it took a lot of the community."
"For a lot of places, for apartments, there's a waiting list, so there's nowhere to go," she added. "Going to a hotel, that's a temporary fix, but it's not a permanent solution, and I feel that we need more housing. We need more buildings to create more communities. I think having a sense of community and having a sense of purpose does a lot for a person. We all struggle, but I think we have all forgotten about the strength behind community and support."
SAYING GOODBYE
As Eldridge started taking Bob to regular doctors' visits and getting him medical treatment he needed, it became apparent he had one very big problem: "A really bad heart."
There were dizzy spells and breathing troubles. On occasion, he'd just pass out.
Eldridge said Bob had to be hospitalized several times after their first meeting.
Last fall — roughly three months after their first conversation in the Burger King parking lot — Bob was placed on a ventilator. His condition did improve to the point where he was able to breathe on his own and talk to Eldridge again.
Then, in September, she got a call that she had been dreading.
"They called and said he is taking a turn for the worse and that they needed to know if he wanted to go back on the tube," she said. "I had known at that time that he had already gone on it twice and he absolutely hated it."
By the time she got to the hospital, Eldridge said, Bob was "crashing."
As his health care proxy, she had to make one of the most difficult decisions of her life.
"He just kind of took his last breath and he kind of made that decision for me," Eldridge said. "I let him know I was with him."
After Bob's death, Allen, who helped organize his GoFundMe account, posted a message, noting that while his death was "incredibly sad," the fact that complete strangers noticed and contributed money and other items to give him a roof over his head "speaks volumes" and was "special."
"Know that he passed away with his dignity, in a warm safe place and was very grateful to every single one of you for your generosity and kindness," she wrote.
TWO PAISANS AND THE BEAUTY OF BEING HUMAN
Throughout their brief time together, Bob developed a habit of calling Eldridge "my paisan," an Italian word for friend.
"He'd always say how much he loved me," she said. "You don't realize when somebody has nothing, nothing and nobody in life, and you form a friendship that is just pure love, just because. There's no debt to each other. It was the most authentic friendship I've had in my entire life. It was beautiful. I'm grateful that I got that."
She's also grateful for all those who helped her help Bob.
Eldridge takes comfort in knowing that, for a few months at least, the Lockport community gave a man in need a sense of dignity and an improved quality of life, things he did not have while struggling alone in his old "home" on the Burger King parking lot.
"I never did it for any kind of recognition," Eldridge said. "It was never about any of that. It was like, this is what it's like to be human. This is the beautiful part of being human."
