Help! A Guy Promised He Wouldn’t Ghost Me — Then Did It Anyway After I Caught Feelings
Today's episode of BuzzFeed Daily features another edition of DM-911 with our own Stephen LaConte, plus our thoughts on the top pop culture headlines. You can listen below or scroll down to read a bit from the podcast!
So let's dive right into it! Today Stephen gave some advice on what to do when you get ghosted after catching feelings, how to handle "irresponsible and unstable" friends, and what to do if your partner suddenly changes their mind about wanting kids.
"I got ghosted about a week ago, and unfortunately I've caught feelings and now it's hard for me to shake them. Before he ghosted, he said that if he didn't want a relationship, he would never do 'what the other guys have done in the past' and ghost. BUT that's exactly what he did! I wish I knew why he did this. I called him twice and texted him once to see if everything was okay, but he never answered or responded. I want him to know that I would be there for him because he lost his job too. HELP!"
@loveconnectionfox / GIPHY / Via giphy.com
Stephen LaConte: I'm going to give you some tough advice that you might not want to hear, and I'm giving you this advice because I've been in your shoes before. Looking back on that situation, this is what I wish I could have told myself. That advice is that I think you have to let this go and move on. It is deeply fucked up that this guy ghosted you, especially after telling you that he would never ghost you you. This guy is an asshole, plain and simple. And because of that, your story together is going to have an unhappy ending. And what I think I am gleaning from your DM is a strong desire to give your story a happy ending.
You're calling him, you're texting him — you want him to talk to you. You want to make him un-ghost you. I think in the long run, that behavior will do you more harm than good. And it would ultimately probably be a waste of your time. Time that would be much better spent, in my view, focusing either on yourself or on other dating prospects who are more worthy of you. You write that he's going through a tough time in his career and that you want him to know that you'd be there for him. My question to you is, why would you be there for him? He's not there for you. He ghosted you. He's ignoring your several calls and texts. I don't think this is a person you need to be there for.
There's a quote I love— I believe it's from Maya Angelou: "When people show you who they really are, believe them." This man has shown you who he really is. Now, your job is to believe him. And I know firsthand how hard that is to do. It can be very painful to accept that the person we dated really wasn't the person we thought they were, to accept that they might actually be a big fucking jerk. But the best advice I can give you is to accept it anyway, accept the unhappy ending and start a new story somewhere else. Because I really do believe that when someone truly loves you and respects you and wants to be with you, you won't feel confused about it.
We also talked about Melissa Joan Hart's recent breakthrough COVID diagnosis with fans — along with a plea for mandatory masking in schools.
Melissa said she thinks one of her kids has it as well, that she believes it came from her kids’ school, and that she’s “really mad” that her kids didn't have to wear masks while they were there.
She also said: "I'm mad, I'm really mad, because we tried ad we took precautions and we cut our exposure by a lot, but we got a little lazy."
In other news, Mindy Kaling recently opened up about a moment in a writers room that took a toll on her body image and self-esteem.
Basically, one of her fellow writers suggested that their character tell Mindy's character that she could lose 15 pounds. Mindy said: "This is my greatest insecurity, and someone just called it out. It's really devastating. When that moment happened, it was so huge to me."
