How to Help Your Child Who Struggles to Wake Up For School

If your kid refuses to get out of bed for school, you're not alone. Here are some expert tips to make mornings easier.

Medically reviewed by Teja Dyamenahalli, MD, MPH, FAAP

Struggling to wake up in the morning is something most of us experience every once in a while, even kids. It’s normal for a child to need a little extra encouragement to get ready for school from time to time. But when they’re refusing to get out of bed every morning, or it’s a frequent battle to wake them up, it can be frustrating and concerning for everyone involved.

You might wonder if your child is staying up too late and not getting enough sleep. Or perhaps they’re anxious about school and worrying about an upcoming test. You can run through a million situations in an attempt to find the “why.” Luckily there are some things you and your child can do together to make mornings an overall better experience.

We spoke with pediatric experts to help you understand why your child is refusing to get out of bed in the morning, and a few tips on what you can do about it.

Why Do Some Kids Refuse to Get Out of Bed in the Morning?

There are a variety of reasons that might contribute to your child's unwillingness to leave their bed when it's time to get ready—some of which have to do with school start times, which are obviously out of your control. But before you jump to concerns about bedtime routine or anxiety, consider that it could be as simple as what's going on in your child's sleep cycle.

Nina-Mare Rueda, ND, a naturopathic physician who works in both prenatal and pediatric care, points out that having a general understanding of your child's sleep and wake cycles can be helpful in cracking this particular mystery. The human brain cycles through different types of sleep patterns several times a night, some of which are a lighter sleep, while others are much deeper. "A child may be in one of the deeper parts of that sleep cycle, so it’s going to be harder to get them out of it."

Of course, there could be other factors involved, like late-night exposure to screens, psychological challenges, or certain medical issues like restless leg syndrome or sleep apnea. If you suspect anything might be affecting your child in those areas, it's best to seek the advice of a pediatrician or health care provider.

Dr. Sharma, MD, FAAP and Dr. Rebillot, MD of TinyTotsERdocs both point out that, since this recurring behavior could be related to a host of different issues, it's crucial to get to the bottom of it. "It's important to understand the different reasons why a child may have difficulty waking up in the morning and then seek the appropriate treatment strategies," they explain.

Tips For Establishing a Consistent Morning Routine

One strategy for helping ease the pain of getting up in the morning for school is to establish a morning routine that's predictable from day to day. Kids thrive on routine, and knowing what to expect and having tasks to complete can act as a motivator. For younger kids, it’s helpful to break tasks down into small steps and offer praise when they do them successfully.

“Routines are an important part of childhood development, as it creates a predictable schedule for children and gives them a sense of control in their environment,” Drs. Sharma and Rebillot explain. “Children with consistent routines at home develop self-regulation of their emotions, which means less morning struggles or meltdowns.”

Consider Using a Reward System

For younger kids, you may consider using a reward system to help motivate them to complete daily tasks, like getting dressed or brushing their teeth. "Children respond well to positive reinforcement," say Drs. Sharma and Rebillot, pointing out that the reward doesn't have to be a toy or anything huge. Even a sticker chart might do the trick, and could give your child a sense of accomplishment.

Ask Your Child How They'd Like to Be Woken Up

Some kids thrive with alarm clocks; others might prefer a gentle wake-up from their parent or caregiver. Emotional events during the waking hours can affect sleep, so if your child is jolted awake each morning by a loud, unpleasant sound, they may associate waking up with fear or anxiety. Try out an alarm clock that uses songs or calming sounds instead. It might take some trial and error before you figure out what works best, but it's worth it to find the right strategy that will make mornings go more smoothly.

Plan for the Morning at Night

Consider including your child in this decision making. For example, pick out their clothes before bedtime, and ask them which shirt they’d like to wear in the morning. Have them pick out the pants and shoes to go with it. Give them two or three breakfast options, and have them choose which they’d like to eat. This gives them a little more in control, and makes the following morning easier for you.

For tweens and teens, encourage them to pick out their clothes the night before and help them establish this routine to make it habitual.

Related: The Right Way to Set Up a Reward System for Kids

Tips for Creating a Consistent and Calming Bedtime Routine

Children tend to get insufficient sleep because of a combination of late bedtimes and early school start times. Ensuring you’re following a consistent bedtime that allows your child to get the proper amount of sleep for their age may just make mornings an easier task for both of you. Fortunately, there are a few things you can do to establish healthy sleep habits before they even climb into bed.

Avoid Food and Drink Right Before Sleep

It's a good idea to make sure that your kids aren't eating or drinking too much water right before bedtime. "This can cause abdominal discomfort or increased waking to urinate in the middle of the night, and can prevent a restful nighttime sleep," Drs. Sharma and Rebillot say.

Steer Clear of Screens

Studies suggest that avoiding screen time (which includes TV and tablet use) at least 30 minutes to an hour before bedtime can increase sleep benefits for kids. "This can be difficult for children who utilize screens to do homework," point out Drs. Sharma and Rebillot, adding that it can be helpful to have your kids do homework earlier in the day, if schedules allow.

Introduce Calming Bedtime Rituals

If your child showers in the morning, consider having them switch to the evening, where a warm bath or shower may help them wind down. "This helps promote relaxation, lower cortisol levels, and promote blood circulation," Drs. Sharma and Rebillot explain.

You can also read a book with your child or simply recap your child’s day together. A calm conversation may be just the thing to create a sense of comfort before going to sleep.

Related: 7 Ways to Help Kids Calm Down Without Using a Screen

When to Contact a Health Care Provider

If you've exhausted every strategy and the issue isn't resolving, or if you suspect there's something more concerning contributing to your child's sleepiness in the morning, it's always a good idea to consult a pediatrician or health care provider.

“It’s beneficial to reach out, even if it’s during a wellness visit with your primary care physician,” Rueda shares, pointing out that a provider might want to look further at blood-sugar regulation, thyroid balance, adrenal balance, metabolic rate, and how the body is responding to stress. "This helps to give you a snapshot of your child’s health."

Additionally, if your child is showing any signs of anxiety, depression, or their teachers report behavioral or mood-related issues at school, it's important to check in with a health care provider. If you notice your child snoring loudly or gasping while sleeping, that might also warrant a call to a medical professional, as it could signal sleep apnea or other sleep-related disorders.

At the end of the day, you know your child best. If their refusal to get out of bed in the morning is out of character, or accompanied by other mental or physical issues, reaching out to a pediatrician or a health care provider is always a good idea. Together, you can work on a strategy or treatment plan to make mornings more pleasant for everyone involved.

Related: Bedtime Battles Breaking You? The Real Reason Why Kids and Parents Fight Over Going To Sleep

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