These Are the Harsh Truths Guys Learn When They Turn 30
The big 3-0 can be a cause for huge celebration. It's a great time to reflect on where you are in life, and set goals for your future. For many, it's also when you start to notice aches and pains that were never there before, and when hangovers get way, way worse.
In a thread on Reddit, men have been sharing some of the insights they've gleaned in their 30s, including lessons on romance, friendship, health, and family.
How you treat your body catches up with you
From yo_Mtv_Raps_waz_dope: "Do a lot of coke in your 20s and expect to have high blood pressure and early heart arrhythmia issues in your late 30s. My doctor told me my cardiovascular system was 15 to 20 years older then my age. That means I can probably expect some serious repercussions in my late 60s like strokes, sudden heart failure, etc. If could talk to 26 year old me, I'd say 'PLEASE STOP DOING COCAINE'. Find other shit that makes you happy and leave the party behind. It's hard to get out but you will see all these people who balled out in their 20s start to die in 10 to 15 years. Cancer, heart attacks and broke."
From elusiveshame: "Your body slows down on recovery and you're more prone to injury from things you could easily do when you're in your 20's. You might become intolerant to certain foods (dairy, spicy, acidic, etc) and will have to change your dietary habits."
From iknowiknow138: "It is WAY harder to get BACK into shape, than it is to STAY in shape.""Nobody cares about the stuff you convince yourself is vital"
Nobody is judging you as harshly as you think
From disco54: I wasted a lot of time worrying about shit that didn't matter when I was younger. Nobody cares about 90%+ of the stuff you convince yourself is vital."
From NuclearMaterial: "It can be a harsh thing to think about, the fact that nobody cares about the majority of things that happen in your life but it's also pretty liberating. You can take a lot of pressure off yourself when you realise this."
From Just_Lawfulness: "No one is watching you because no one gives a damn about you. It's very liberating and greatly reduced my social anxiety."
Your friendships will change
From drbp: "For single guys in their 30s, your friend group starts to fade. It was a tough transition for me to accept at first. They’re still your friends of course, but as they start to get married, have kids, move away, etc, you just don’t have the crew you used to have. In a way it’s good because it forces you to be more independent, but sometimes I miss having that part of my social life. It also changes how you think about dating. I’m definitely looking more for a partner and a friend rather than just superficial connections. Again that’s probably a good thing."
From AcesSkye: "I’m 32. I got into rock climbing a couple of years ago and it has been amazing way to make new friends and acquaintances. It gives you a reason to stay fit, travel, build trusting relationships with people, and the local rock gym makes a great mid-week pick me up. It’s not for everyone, but point being: find a hobby you like and go for it. There’s gonna be other weirdos like you there."
Some relationships aren't meant to last
From Corsavis: "I've adopted the mindset that people, girlfriends/boyfriends especially, will come into your life at a certain time and will have some kind of butterfly effect on you. Inevitably there WILL be something you do because of them that changes the course of your life. And there's also a time when they're meant to leave, and that may also be a factor that leads your life in a certain direction. It's up to you to decide what direction and what kind of impact they have."
You'll have a different kind of relationship with your parents
A number of people on the thread recalled the moments when they realized that their mom and dad are just human beings, accepted that they're not perfect, and acknowledged that sometimes, just sometimes, they might know what they're talking about. Elsewhere, commenters spoke about how that parent/child relationship can actually begin to reverse as the years go by.
From Cr4zychris: "You will reach a time in your life where your parents will get old, and eventually need your help, whether it's wanted or not. It will be one of the hardest things you ever do, seeing your mother/father decline to someone you don't even recognise anymore. It's heartbreaking for you and embarrassing for them, but to be there (not just in company but to wake up in the middle of the night to change their catheter or to lift them out the bath), being there in their last few years will bring so much comfort. Don't forget about the people that raised you."
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