Harrison Butker has a point, but motherhood doesn’t - and shouldn’t - limit women | Opinion
As a mother to four children, three of whom are teenage girls …
As a woman who has worked full-time while raising children …
As a woman who has worked part-time while raising children …
As a woman who made the arduous decision to leave a booming career to stay home full-time with her children …
As a woman who recognized, each and every day, the extreme privilege of walking away from a career to stay home full-time with her children …
As a woman who wrestled with emotions of feeling incredibly blessed while also feeling “left behind” while being home full-time, who found sweet solace in continuing education, board service, and volunteering …
As a woman who faced multiple barriers and challenges, both internal and external, when returning to the full-time workforce after an extended child-rearing leave …
As a first-generation college student from rural Missouri who obtained a PhD at age 47 while working full-time …
And as a social scientist who has committed research, energy, and passion to elevating voices …
I respect all women and their experience with motherhood — those who have children, those who cannot have children, and those who have chosen not to have children. All are worthy of respect and all play an important role in our society.
I respect all women and their experience with motherhood — those who stay home full-time, those who work outside the home part-time, and those who work outside the home full-time. I know that it is all hard, and it all plays an important role in our society.
Levinson’s Seasons of Life theory says that we move through is a sequence of transitions, and each requires difficult decisions that prompt humans to question their identity and their self-efficacy.
Transition: becoming a parent
Difficult decision: working or staying home (if you have the privilege to choose)
Women have achieved many successes toward equality throughout history. However, one aspect of the feminine role remains unchanged: Once a woman becomes a mother, managing multiple roles becomes challenging. During my PhD research, I interviewed mothers all over the country who had returned to the workforce after a child-rearing absence. I found that 90% of the participants noted they were not able to separate their professional and personal identities, and 80% reported that being a working mother forced them to create an entirely new identity.
One participant noted: “When I came back, ‘identity crisis’ is the only way to describe what I was going through.” When asked about personal and professional identities, another explained: “It’s one. There’s not a difference. Whether you’re at work or home, you’re still a mother either way.” Feelings of connection, worth and understanding were cited as requirements for this new multifaceted identity to excel.
Women’s life paths, sequence of transitions and challenges are uniquely ours, so let’s write our own narrative and be proud. There is no one right path. All paths can be right. I celebrate all women, regardless of their path, and I hope you will join me. Stop accepting labels, especially those that minimize our far-reaching, multilayered influence on our families, our communities and the world. We are so many things to so many people. Stop putting limits on us, our value and our impact.
Benedictine College, please invite Dr. Elizabeth Keller Butker, a renowned medical physicist, to be commencement speaker in 2025. Her son’s voice matters, and so does hers.
Jacquelyn Eidson is an educator and social scientist who lives in the Kansas City metropolitan area with her husband and their four children.
