What Happens to Your Brain on a First Date? A Neuroscientist Explains the Rollercoaster Ride
You’ve gotten yourself out of bed, arranged a meet-up and selected an outfit that signals “attractive but not trying too hard.” This first date should be a piece of cake, right? And yet: So. Many. Feelings. From butterflies in your stomach to a dizzy sense of anticipation, first dates can be a real mixed bag of sensation, from what feels like muted anxiety to blazing lust. In the interest of better understanding the chain of biological responses to dating, we consulted a brain science expert to detail just what’s going on in the body as you Waze toward the bistro and take a few moments for square breathing in the car before greeting that person who just might rock your world.
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Meet the Expert
PureWow: On a First Date, What Brain Regions Are Activated?
Sanam Hafeez: When you're heading out on a first date, your brain kicks into high gear, processing all sorts of thoughts and emotions. The parts of your brain that really light up include the paracingulate cortex, which helps you pay attention, especially to social cues and potential conflicts. Then there's the ventromedial prefrontal cortex, which is like your emotional center, helping you navigate those butterflies in your stomach and make sense of your feelings. The rostromedial prefrontal cortex is also crucial, helping you decide what to say, how to act, and even interpreting the subtle signals your date might be sending.
PW: Where Does That Woozy/Fluttery Sensation Come From?
SH: When we're drawn to someone or feeling romantic, the ventral tegmental area(VTA) releases dopamine, the feel-good neurotransmitter, creating that fluttery sensation. The nucleus accumbens(NAcc), often dubbed the brain's pleasure center, processes these signals, reinforcing our attraction and romantic inclinations. Together, they form a neural feedback loop, making us crave more of those delightful experiences. So, when we say love is like a drug, we're not far off—the brain's reward system is hard at work, keeping us hooked on those sweet feelings of attraction and romance.
PW: Ah, Dopamine….Please Say More About the Effects of All These Brain Chemicals
SH: Some of the brain chemicals released include:
PW: Okay, But What Happens on a Not-Great Date?
SH: If the date starts off awkwardly or uncomfortably, it may trigger feelings of anxiety or stress, leading to elevated levels of cortisol, the stress hormone. Mismatched expectations or lack of chemistry can lead to disappointment or frustration, potentially activating brain regions associated with negative emotions, such as the amygdala. Finally, limited engagement or lack of meaningful conversation may fail to stimulate the release of oxytocin and dopamine, resulting in a lack of emotional connection and enjoyment.
PW: Womp, Womp. But Let’s End on a High Note…Give Us a Snapshot of the Date That’s Got ‘Good Chemistry’
SH: Before the date, anticipation and excitement may lead to increased dopamine and norepinephrine levels, contributing to feelings of eagerness and energy. Upon meeting, positive interactions such as smiling, eye contact and engaging conversation can trigger the release of oxytocin and dopamine, fostering feelings of connection and pleasure. As the date progresses, shared laughter, common interests, and physical touch can further stimulate the release of oxytocin and dopamine, deepening the sense of bonding and enjoyment.
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