Hampton woman ‘dedicated to helping the kids’ named Virginia’s Elementary Counselor of the Year
HAMPTON — The shelves in Sheila Barnhart-Ramirez’s classroom are packed with plastic birds, lions and warriors.
Students enter her colorful room and grab a fidget toy to release anxiety or bury a bunch of lions in the sandbox. They’ll pick up a crayon and draw a picture of themselves standing alone.
“Kids can’t necessarily put things into words,” said Barnhart-Ramirez, the counselor at Langley Elementary. “These,” she said, pointing at the animals and other toys, “become all of their words.”
Barnhart-Ramirez has been a counselor for about two decades in elementary and middle schools. Last month, she was named the Elementary Counselor of the Year by the Virginia School Counselor Association.
Much of her work is helping children identify and deal with their emotions positively, including learning things such as self-regulation, communication and building relationships with other kids. She recently became a certified play therapist.
“Kids can show you exactly what’s going on in their world through play.”
Victoria Banton has seen the impact. Banton’s 7-year-old son, who struggles with anger management and impulsivity, has made large gains.
“It’s translating at home,” Banton said.
Barnhart-Ramirez said Banton’s son loves spending time playing with the sandbox. He often creates a world of dragons and people fighting battles, including a figure he said is him. Some days, he has fewer battles. One day, his figure and the dragon became friends.
“That is progress without words,” Barnhart-Ramirez said. When she told Banton, the mother cried.
Banton said she’s learned a lot from Barnhart-Ramirez. She gets emails with strategies and techniques to try at home. Banton said Barnhart-Ramirez’s award is well deserved.
“I never had a school counselor growing up as involved and dedicated to helping the kids,” Banton said.
Brynne Cere is Langley’s principal. She has known Barnhart-Ramirez for years, including as a parent whose child was one of her students and as a teacher. Barnhart-Ramirez’s family engagement is part of what sets her apart, Cere said. The counselor hosts “coffee chats,” going over topics such as how to deal with challenging behaviors, such as throwing tantrums or not listening.
Cere said engaging parents helps create a “common language,” so that students, families and school personnel are on the same page. Barnhart-Ramirez also works with other staff as the school shifts from traditional discipline toward more “restorative practices,” which focus on building relationships, self-awareness and emotional regulation.
Barnhart-Ramirez said much has changed since she first started, including the children. She said negative behaviors have increased and trauma is a factor, but not necessarily because children are exposed to it more than before.
Experiencing something as trauma is dependent on a person’s resilience, Barnhart-Ramirez said. Children are less resilient than before, and one of her theories is the overuse of technology. Devices are sometimes used to distract children from hard or challenging feelings so they don’t learn ways to process difficult experiences. They also spend less time connecting with others.
Her field has also changed, she said. Counselors, and others, now know more about how the brain works. Barnhart-Ramirez likes to share this with her students, to help them understand how and why they are behaving in certain ways.
She has several pulse oximeters and she has students check their heart rates when they come to her. Then, after they take some deep breaths or engage in other relaxation techniques, she lets them measure again and see the difference.
Barnhart-Ramirez also teaches whole-class lessons and holds small group meetings that focus on topics such as deployment. She enjoys working with young children because they are still in the early stages of “becoming who they are.”
“I can be a little bit more impactful now.”
Nour Habib, nour.habib@virginiamedia.com
