I Had Sex On a Period Blanket and It Wasn't a Total Disaster

red spill
red spill

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Period sex? Yes, please. Clean up after? No thanks.

My period has never stopped me from getting laid—why should it? To re-phrase a quote from Amy Poehler, if you don't like period sex, keep walking.

But as a woman with a particularly heavy flow, (I'm talking seven to eight tampons a day), I've gotten myself and my bedding into a many a hot mess during period sex. I knew things were dire when I had to throw out my favorite duvet because the stains wouldn't come out. That duvet was $200! My vagina was happy. But I wasn't.

Since then I've relied on a layer of black sheets and towels, not only to have sex on but sleep on as well (because my flow is that heavy). It's a decent hack, but ultimately not 100 percent foolproof against the tidal wave that erupts every month.

But what if there was a better solution?

I heard Thinx, the same company that makes panties you can bleed directly into, had created a blanket specifically for period sex. The blanket features one side which absorbs the blood and a purple satin side to lie on after. One side for screwing and one for cuddling. Amazing, right?

But after looking all over for it, I realized Thinx no longer makes a period blanket. My guess is the $369 price tag had something to do with that. But hey it's cheaper than having to replace duvet covers.

But being the detective that I am, I found a period blanket dupe called "Throws of Passion". Crafted from two layers of a fleece encompassing a middle moisture-repellent layer, the makers claim the blanket is 100 percent waterproof, 100 percent leak-proof, and machine washable. And it's only $99 or $79 for the travel size on amazon.com. Bada-bing!

Per usual, I enlisted my partner for yet another experiment. (See: I Tried Foria Weed Lube and It Totally Changed My Sex Life) I decided to get wild and leave my ivory sheets on instead of my normal period-approved black set, so I could truly see how well the Throws of Passion performed. My partner and I hopped on the blanket for a ride on the crimson wave, or, in my case, crimson tsunami.

We gave it a go a few times in every which way, and thanks to its fleece construction, the Throws of Passion stayed (relatively) in place, which gave it early bonus points in my opinion.

I also noticed that unlike bedsheets or towels, the period blanket didn't feel wet, which made me question if I was even bleeding at all. But as they say, the proof is in the pudding. I got up to examine the results. There was a fair amount of blood splattered on the blanket, but would my ivory sheets still be pristine?

I lifted up the blanket with all the drama of a game show host waiting to reveal the answer, and what would you know, but my sheets were clean. Not a drop soaked through, and the puddle of blood stayed put in the confines of the blanket.

Personally, I felt as though I had just won a game show. The potential uses for this blanket are endless! I could put it on the sofa while watching TV or on my desk chair while working; for incontinence, when I'm old and gray. Does this thing have a lifetime warranty? Because I'm in it for the long haul.

You may be thinking, "sounds cool, but my towel is cheaper." True, it is. But towels feel wet. They leak. They move. They are not as smooth. And they are definitely not something you'd ever want to cuddle on afterward.