Gwyneth Paltrow Revealed That Being a Stepmom Was Initially "Really Hard"

"All of the existing media around what a stepmother is casts us in this evil, villainous light."

While we're more accustomed to Gwyneth Paltrow speaking about her wellness routines and her new partnership with Airbnb, a new Instagram Q&A from the Oscar-winning actress got into some more personal stories, including how she struggled at first with her role of stepmother to her husband Brad Falchuk's two children. The television writer, producer, and director has two children from a previous relationship: Brody, 17, and daughter Isabella, 19. Paltrow shares two children, Apple and Moses (19 and 17, respectively), with her ex-husband, Coldplay frontman Chris Martin.

During the Q&A, Paltrow didn't hold back, saying, "I did find it really hard at first."

She went on to explain that there wasn't really any reference that she could pull from on how to be a good stepmother. She called the early days as akin to dodging "land mines."

"You know, there’s no book on this; nobody tells us what to do. And in fact, all of the existing media around what a stepmother is casts us in this evil, villainous light," she added. "So, it’s kind of like trying to avoid land mines. And then you’re going into a family with dynamics. And there’s all kinds of fear around loss and what does this person mean?"

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Things are different now, she assured her followers. All it took for her specicially was to embrace Falchuk's children as her own. From there, it was smooth sailing.

"But for myself, the minute I decided, and fully embodied the idea that my step kids were my kids and I love them just as much and I gave them the same rules and boundaries, and just kind of whole-heartedly went for it, then the easier the whole thing got. And now it’s pretty great," she said.

Back in 2021, Paltrow opened up to fellow stepmom Gabrielle Union during an episode of the goop Podcast. During their chat, Paltrow admitted that she had "no idea" what to do.

"I have two beautiful stepchildren, who are the same age as mine," Paltrow said. "It's funny because when I became a stepmother, when I knew I was going to become a stepmother, I was like, 'Shit, I have no idea how to do this. There's nothing to read. What do I do? Where do I step in? Where do I not? Like, how do I do this?'"

"It's been a really interesting challenge for me and I love them," she finished. "I've learned so much about myself through the process."

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