The Guggenheim's Trump Shade Is a Work of Art
Reality. Is. Wild!
According to an email obtained by the Washington Post, the White House requested that the Guggenheim loan President and Mrs. Trump a Van Gogh painting for the private residence. The Guggenheim responded by offering them an actual, functioning toilet. And I am actually screaming.
Here's what the Trump's wanted:
Here's what they were offered:
The toilet, a work by Maurizio Cattelan, is called "America" because literally no one is playing anymore. "America" is made of 18-karat solid gold and spent a year in an actual restroom at the Guggenheim, where it was fully functional. The Guggenheim offered the president a used toilet and somebody needs to call PETA because I'm about to clutch every pearl in the ocean.
The email came from curator Nancy Spector who is my new shade empress. There's no shade like curated shade. Nancy's like "You're not going to run up in my Bauhaus and take whatever you want." This is read is a work of art in and of itself and I will bid my entire Bitcoin fortune on it.
White House: Gimme a painting by the ear guy.
Guggenheim: You are literally a piece of doo-doo lol.
White House: No, the ear guy! Pretty. On paper.
Guggenheim: Van Gogh eff yourself.
White House: Isn't it pronounced Van Guff?
Guggenheim: Fine. Go Gogh yourself. Better?
White House: Can I have the painting now?
Guggenheim: Heard you like pee pee and gold. Enjoy! Fund the NEA, bish!
Honestly, this is superb. There is no more representative piece of art for Trump than a gold monument connected to a septic line. This is a man who has shellacked every available surface in every building he's lived in gold. He literally made the RNC turn the stage gold when he accepted the nomination.
This is a dude who has spent his entire life cosplaying the titular role in The Wiz. You think this tacky dude doesn't already have a gold toilet? You are wrong. The White House probably turned the loan down because there's too many gold thrones in the West Wing already. Like, I am sure that they have shiny squatty potties stashed away somewhere. A gold toilet would be redundant.
Trump acts like what some people think a rapper who suddenly became president would act like. Pop quiz: he's obsessed with himself, he's prone to grandiose statements, he wants to surround himself with classic art with little understanding of context, and he's consumed by opulence. Am I talking about Kanye or Trump?
Trump is like if Scrooge McDuck was the villain in Duck Tales.
I think I will be laughing about this Guggenheim shade for the rest of my life. Forget "Rosebud," my final words will be "gold toilet." For context, many other administrations have requested artwork, according to the Post. The Obamas, for instance, requested and were loaned work by Mark Rothko and Jasper Johns. It's unclear what Trump saw in the Van Gogh. What is clear, however, is that at least one curator at the Guggenheim saw Trump in a toilet. ::literally the biggest, most artistic chef kiss::
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