Are You the Group Mooch?

"Hearst Magazines and Yahoo may earn commission or revenue on some items through these links."

Emma Cline's latest novel, The Guest, not only portrays a longstanding theme of class mobility in America but also an archetype that broods in the shadows of social settings more often than not.

Cline's protagonist Alex, a 22-year-old woman who was recently expelled from her much older (and richer) lover's Long Island Beach house after committing a faux pas at a social event, is a character of this particular ilk. Having previously been kicked out of her New York City apartment by her roommates for stealing pills and jewelry and failing to pay rent, Alex refuses to accept this banishment with the goal of reuniting with her paramour at his Labor Day party five days later. Her plan to do so consists of drifting between beach clubs and pool parties and gaining access to social circles that may help along the way.

Extreme? Maybe. But folks like Alex are more common than you might think. Their goal is to always be the beneficiary, never the donor, mooches if you will: a nuanced concept that touches all sorts of fronts, from social climbing to splitting the check at dinner to even dividing the work required for group travel.

In the 80s, Women's Wear Daily publisher John Fairchild suggestively described mooches in social settings as "walkers," or escorts (typically gay men) who accompanied fashionable women to social events when their husbands chose not to show. They were also called "Pilot fish" after the aquatic animal, which appears to latch onto sharks, a metaphor for less socially prominent folks and those who sat at higher ranks in society. Today they're social climbers, drifters, swindlers, and freeloaders, and the name assigned depends on the sort of mooching that one partakes in.

"The sort of mooching that I experience is like carrying a backpack full of rocks," Christine Braganza, a sales professional in the tri-state area who frequently vacations with friends, tells T&C as she reflects on how mooches have marred her travels. "They're not necessarily in the way, but they're certainly adding weight."

Braganza recalls two trips where she particularly felt the heavy weight of a mooch. The first occurred nearly ten years ago when a friend claimed that their credit card was "eaten up by the airport ATM," causing her to have to carry the financial burden on her shoulders for the rest of the trip. Twenty-four years old at the time, Braganza quickly transformed from an enthusiastic world traveler to a financial babysitter. "Ten years ago, we didn't have Venmo or Apple Pay, and I knew to withdraw cash before. I ended up having to pay for taxis, food, and all of that. I got the money back a month later, which is fine, but I think it's more of the self-awareness factor."

The second trip, a more recent one, included Braganza, her partner, and a few other friends traveling to a destination abroad. As opposed to the aforementioned financial freeloader, this trip's mooch failed to participate in the unsexy preliminary work that is required when traveling with friends. "My partner and I booked the Airbnb, booked the restaurants, and even booked the car," she says. "Not only did this person not help with planning anything, but they also expected us to clean their designated area in our Airbnb." On outings, the couple carried the weight of paying, and even though they were Venmoed immediately after the trip, "it's not about the money, but rather this dance of taking turns paying and being considerate."

But for some, mooching is a badge of pride. One Tik-Tok user, @jakethemanual, posted a video of himself on a chaise lounge at a house on Fire Island that he shared with people who were in their 30s. "POV... you don't have to cook, clean, or do anything because you're 'Gen-Z'" the caption read. One user commented, "What affirmations do I need to say to get this?" and another called him "King."

Is there a world where being a mooch can exist in a symbiotic relationship? After all, it can be argued that Truman Capote mooched off of those richer and more socially prominent than himself. Sure, he wasn't paying for the private jets to Jamaica, but he entertained in the form of gossip and wit. Dinner parties of today may benefit from a mooch so long as they offer a few belly laughs or scintillating conversation to other guests. "For chrissakes, at least offer something intellectual, right?" Max Tucci, the grandson of Oscar Tucci who reopened the legendary Delmonico's restaurant in the 1920s, tells T&C. "And, a conversation is free, no matter if you're wealthy or not. But a conversation about the arts, world matters, new divine restaurants, and hot topics in today's world. Informed conversations."

So, in that sense, perhaps mooching exists in a circular motion. Some mooch for social gain, others for intellectual stimulation. Whatever it is, the key is self-awareness: if you're lacking in one arena, be sure to make it up in another.

You Might Also Like

• 12 Weekend Getaway Spas For Every Type of Occasion

• 13 Beauty Tools to Up Your At-Home Facial Game