My Grandmother Would Approve of These 10 Southern Driving Rules

How many have you broken?

<p>Getty Images</p>

Getty Images

My Grandmother May was known to the family as “Leadfoot,” she drove everywhere fast, and shamed police officers who tried to give her speeding tickets. She was also the queen of manners, etiquette, and politeness. While she wasn’t my Driver’s Ed Teacher, I think she would approve of these 10 Southern Driving Rules. How many do you follow?

1. Learn How To Use The Left Lane

The left lane is for passing. If you want to drive in the left lane, that’s a reality you must embrace. Watch your rearview mirror. If someone is riding your bumper, the interstate is not the place for passive aggressive behavior. Move over, let them pass, and carry on with your drive. It doesn’t matter if you think they’re driving too fast, or too reckless, just move over and get on with your trip. It’s not worth wasting your good vacation vibes on a total stranger.

2. Cruise It Before I Lose It

It’s 2023. More than 90% of cars have cruise control, so please use it! Humans are distractable creatures; it’s inevitable. Maybe you’re lost in your favorite song, or thinking about where you want to eat when you get to the beach. Whatever the case, if you’re lollygagging down the road at a cool 45 mph, you can’t get upset when folks fly past you, shaking their fists. Know yourself—if you’re not great at paying attention, set the cruise control, then feel free to daydream all you want…just keep your eyes on the road.

3. Put Your Phone Down

We’ve all gotten way too addicted to the these darn pocket robots. They’re always chirping and dinging, clamoring for our attention like some beastly hybrid of a toddler and parakeet. But guess what? Nothing is so important that it can’t wait until the next rest stop. Not only does taking time to check your phone compromise your attention and makes you a disrespectful driver—it also puts you, your family, and every other person on the road at risk. Put your co-pilot on phone duty, or just it put away while you drive. It’s the safest option. And the law.

4. Don’t Be Trashy

Again it’s 2023—but I feel like I have to say this—don’t you dare throw trash out the window. This includes everything from cigarette butts to banana peels. Even if you say to yourself “but this half-eaten hamburger is biodegradable,” just don’t. A food-littered roadside attracts deer and other wildlife who have no business eating French fries or drinking a cola next to SUVs hurtling down the highway at 87 mph. Let’s keep Bambi safe and healthy, OK?

5. Put Your Feet On The Floor

I can’t tell you how many cars we’ve passed on the road with feet up on the dashboard. And not just any feet—BARE FEET. And not just passengers—DRIVERS, TOO! I can’t express enough how insanely dangerous this is. If you’re in a car accident and your foot is above the airbag, what do you think is going happen? Also: this may be an unpopular opinion, but y’all, it’s just tacky. Also, while we’re on the subject, don’t take your shoes off on airplanes. Just don’t do it.

6. Don’t Rubber Neck

Curiosity kills cats, and it slows down traffic. The rudest thing you can do on the road is to slow down and gawk at a traffic accident. At the very best, someone has had a really frustrating time, but chances are someone is hurt or worse. Respect their dignity and your own mental health and keep your eyes and attention on the road ahead of you. The positive side effect of this courtesy is that it keeps traffic flowing at a steady pace and everyone gets to their destination sooner.

7. Use That Turn Signal

That stick on the side of your steering column is not a “use if desired” device. Turn signals are essential for polite, safe driving. And they’re not just for stop signs—use them when you change lanes, too. When you’re piloting 2 tons of metal at ungodly speeds, the most courteous thing you can do is to announce your intentions in advance.  

8. Don’t Ride Motorcyles

I’m just kidding—sort of. I understand that motorcycle riding is a thing that people like to do. And I respect that. But just because you’re driving a motorcycle doesn’t grant you a license to drive haphazardly. I can’t tell you them number of times I’ve had the ever-living daylights scared out of me by a motorcycle zipping by me at just under the speed of sound. I say just under, because it’s the sound that makes me jump out of my skin. So, if you are a person of the motorcycle-driving persuasion, please remember you are not an astronaut piloting a rocket. Share the road and DO NOT zip between cars at ungodly speeds, please!

9. Learn What Flashing Lights Mean

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but listen up: if the traffic light is flashing RED, you treat the intersection like a four-way STOP and you stay stopped until the way is clear. If the traffic light is flashing YELLOW, proceed through the intersection with caution, but DO NOT stop. Yellow folks get the right of way, red folks wait their turn. If the light is OUT, everybody stops. The end.

10. Practice Horn Etiquette

Look folks, this is not New York—we live in the South, so please practice a little horn etiquette. TAP your horn to get a driver’s attention in a non life-threatening situation. LAY on your horn in times of danger or distress. A distracted driver at a redlight is not a cause for braying horn. It’s annoying, yes, but calm down. Life is too short to get that angry over a 10-second delay.

These are just a few of my pet peeves and driver-safety concerns. If you have any I should add to the list, leave a comment below and let me know! Drive safely this weekend!

Related: Invisible Etiquette Rules That Southerners Practice Every Day

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