I Got a Facial and Now I'm a Golden God

You wash your face. You moisturize. You might even use an eye cream. All of that is great—but allowing your regimen to subsist on the bare minimum is like buying a Bentley and filling it up with regular. Your face is your most valuable asset! And like an overpriced foreign car, it needs a tune-up every now and then. We're not talking about Botox and fillers (though if you want to discuss those, DM me). We're talking about facials.

But what, exactly, is a facial?
Even though it's really an everyday treatment experienced by untold thousands, the facial retains a shroud of luxurious mystery—something only people with pieds-à-terre do. That is not the case. All that happens is this: A trained professional gives your face a full-on deep clean. They cleanse, exfoliate, and extract—getting all that grime from inside your pores. Then they hydrate your skin, hydrate some more, and seal in the moisture before you leave the room. Basically, you lie back in a zoned-out reverie for about an hour while a nice person goops up your face. That's it. And then you walk out of there glowing like a damn cherub.

Plus, a good aesthetician might identify and treat skin-care issues you didn't know you had. They're able to look under the hood in ways you simply can't on your own. So along with the superficial improvement, a facial's got dermatological bona fides.

Sounds great, but where do you get one?
There's a new crop of facial bars popping up that specifically cater to a unisex crowd. Heyday—which has five locations in Manhattan—is very un-spa-like. No robes, no cucumber slices, and no excessive pampering. I liked it so much that I left with a monthly membership and a fistful of take-home products.

Like many other cutting-edge developments in the skin-care world, this new stripped-down philosophy comes from South Korea, where the multi-billion-dollar cosmetics market is fueled by an insatiable appetite for technological development, not frills. Silver Mirror, for instance, applies futuristic gadgets like LED lights (for killing acne-causing bacteria) and electric stimulation (for tightening skin). Then there's Skin Laundry, a global chain with locations in Los Angeles, London, and Hong Kong, which lasers your face clean in 15 minutes—something my crammed schedule appreciates. If lasers and LED lights (or leaving your house) aren't your thing, a new service called the Ritualist will send an aesthetician to your home or office or hotel, as long as you're in New York or San Francisco. Elsewhere, and in general, you can usually get a good facial at the nicest hotel in town.

Consider it a contribution to your silver-fox 401(K)
Celebrity aesthetician Joanna Vargas told me to go get a facial every time the seasons change: “Your skin has different needs, depending on what's happening outside.” You get a haircut more than four times a year—the cognitive leap to getting seasonal facials just isn't that crazy. Plus a few sessions every calendar year isn't so steep a price. The potential rewards, in terms of looking more like Richard Gere and less like Steve Bannon, far outweigh the costs.

But look, I get it. It's stressful to add yet another concern to your Excel spreadsheet of anxiety. But think of it as the reverse: an easy cure to whatever low-level anxieties you've lived with—like annoyingly dry skin, acne, or a general lack of camera-readiness. At about $95 a pop, depending on where you go, a facial treatment is significantly cheaper than neglecting the problem until it requires a major intervention. The beauty is, if you invest in your face now, it'll start paying off immediately. So man up and get a facial.