Good News, ‘PLL’ Fans: Alison DiLaurentis Is Back on Her Bullsh*t in ‘Pretty Little Liars: The Perfectionists’
[Warning: This post contains spoilers for Pretty Little Liars: The Perfectionists season one, episode three, “...If One of Them Is Dead”]
Rejoice! Rejoice! The original Alison DiLaurentis is back!!! Yes. The scheming, lying, hard-ass bitch we all know and love has returned to PLL, and it is truly glorious.
At the beginning of Pretty Little Liars: The Perfectionists, Alison was desperate to leave her past behind her and start a new, calm, drama-free life in Beacon Heights. What better way to turn over a new leaf than move to a town where you don’t know a soul, right? With a reputation like Alison’s, it makes sense that she would be working so hard to be a better person and avoid any antics. While that’s admirable, let’s be real: Drama follows this girl no matter what she does-and so does her past.
It didn’t take too long for Alison to get caught up in some crazy stuff. By the end of the first episode, she received a terrifying warning about someone “watching” her. Minutes later, her student, Nolan Hotchkiss, was dead. Alison appeared to have nothing to do with the murder...until she decided to lie to Detective Booker. She claimed Dylan, Ava, and Caitlin were at her house that night, giving her students an alibi for the murder. As soon as Booker walked away, Alison muttered, “Bring it on, bitch.” From that moment on, the OG Alison was back with a vengeance.
But why TF would Alison do that when she was trying to stay out of trouble? That’s what Dylan, Ava, and Caitlin were wondering, so she gave them the most self-aware response ever: “Because I have terrible impulse control, and authority figures who are prone to abusing the system are a trigger for me.”
That is very on-brand. And once Ali decided to lie to the detective, she knew she had to double down. Alison told the trio exactly what to do and say in order to keep the alibi sound. And what would she do in return? “Nothing I haven’t done before.” Considering all the things Alison’s done before, that’s, uh, not exactly comforting.
After giving the perfectionists their talking points, Ali pays a visit to her dear friend Mona to ask for help. Alison wants to spy on Detective Booker and see what she’s up to, but there’s a problem: Mona got locked out of her Beacon Guard security account for “suspicious activity.”
In typical OG Ali fashion, she protests, “But we need to do our own suspicious activity!” Ah, there’s nothing better than a good Ali-Mona scheming session.
Another OG Ali trait? Smelling bullsh*t from a mile away. As soon as Mason sat in his ex-BFF Nolan’s chair in class, Ali knew something was up. And after she spoke to him, let’s just say he was stinking up her nose. Mason’s odd behavior could just be his way of dealing with Nolan’s death, but Ali isn’t buying it. “Guilt looks a lot like grief if you’re covering something up,” she tells Mona.
And let’s not forget Alison’s best skill of all: scaring the absolute sh*t out of people. This has taken many forms in the past, but in this particular episode, she frightens Dylan, Ava, and Caitlin when she catches them snooping around Nolan’s sketchy cabin. They weren’t expecting anyone else to be there, but as we all know, Alison has a habit of showing up places uninvited. She then gives them this nugget of wisdom: “When you don’t know what you’re going to run into, it’s best not to announce your presence.” Spoken like the true icon she is.
('You Might Also Like',)
