The Good, Bad, and WTF Moments That Defined 2019
January 14 & 18: A pair of documentaries about the doomed Fyre Fest officially ring in the Year of the Scam.
February 19: Karl Lagerfeld, the iconic Chanel creative director, dies at age 85.
January 26: Twitter CEO and apparent lifestyle guru Jack Dorsey tweets about his “water fast”; is promptly ratioed as a promoter of a dubious fad diet.
January 15: With Hedi at Celine, Virgil at Vuitton, and Kim at Dior, Paris Men's Fashion Week suddenly feels like Art Basel meets Coachella.
February 12: Presidential hopeful Andrew Yang drops into Joe Rogan's “man hangar” to promote a universal basic income.
February 7: Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Senator Ed Markey are villainized for…trying to avert global climatic disaster by introducing the Green New Deal.
February 11: Senator Kamala Harris happily volunteers on The Breakfast Club that she inhaled. Times are changing when ex-prosecutors are bragging to Charlamagne Tha God about their pot smoking.
February 13 & 15: After backlash over racist imagery, Prada and Gucci announce new programs to promote diversity. Prada enlists Ava DuVernay to help “elevate voices of color” in fashion.
February 24: At the delightfully hostless Oscars, Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper erotically graze shoulders while singing “Shallow,” their duet from A Star Is Born.
February 21: Empire actor Jussie Smollett is arrested in Chicago under suspicion of staging a fake hate crime against himself.
February 7: Donald Glover dyes his beard blond (presumably to have more fun?).
February 22: R. Kelly is finally indicted by a grand jury after the airing of Surviving R. Kelly, a series detailing voluminous allegations of sexual abuse.
February 5: Female Democratic members of the House don white at the State of the Union in tribute to the suffrage movement.
February 20: Zion Williamson stuns the known universe when his Nike sneaker explodes in the first minute of a pivotal Duke-UNC game.
March 18: HBO's The Inventor tells the story of how real-life vampire Elizabeth Holmes and her dubious blood tests allegedly scammed Silicon Valley.
March 27: In a year of superlative scams, Anna Sorokin, a.k.a. fake heiress Anna Delvey, is still our queen, hiring stylist Anastasia Walker to perfect her look for court.
February 1: Natasha Lyonne won't stop dying—to the internet's delight—in Netflix's Russian Doll.
February 9: Photographer Nan Goldin shames the Guggenheim for taking cash from the Oxy-selling Sackler clan. The next month, the museum announces it will no longer accept their gifts.
March 12: Despite all the legal ways for the wealthy to buy their kids into college, Operation Varsity Blues alleges that some rich parents—Lori Loughlin and Felicity Huffman among them—are resorting to some truly wild new schemes.
April 1: It's Black Monday for fintech bros when a rumor breaks out that Patagonia will no longer sell co-branded fleece vests to companies that don't share the brand's values.
March 10: A-Rod proposes to J.Lo, then posts an Instagram of himself in the act with the caption “Locking it down.”
April 5: Another win for the Yeehaw Agenda: Lil Nas X releases a version of “Old Town Road” with Billy Ray Cyrus.
April 26: It took only 22 setup films to get there, but Marvel scores the highest-grossing movie of all time with Avengers: Endgame.
April 10: Scientists publish the first-ever image of a black hole. The planet may be dying, but the universe is still cool.
April 11: After years of holing up in the Ecuadorian Embassy in London, Julian Assange is evicted and arrested (much to Pamela Anderson's chagrin).
May 24: The year that gave us the “wife guy”—and its subgenres “elf wife guy,” “cliff wife guy,” “fake wife guy”—gifts us “curvy wife guy,” a.k.a. Robbie Tripp, rapping about (you guessed it) his spouse in the song “Chubby Sexy.”
April 14: Eleven turbulent, tabloidal years later, Tiger Woods wins his 15th major and fifth Masters title.
April 11: Michael Avenatti is indicted for tax dodging, perjury, fraud, and other sundry misdeeds. He pleads not guilty, but his short stint as credible Trump critic is over.
May 6: Billy Porter, dressed as a god and carried on a sedan chair by six shirtless men, makes the entrance to end all entrances at the Met gala.
April 15: The roof of the Cathedral of Notre-Dame—built in the 12th and 13th centuries—erupts into flames. It may take 20 years to fully restore the church.
May 11: Arthur Jafa, the artist behind the found-footage video Love Is the Message, the Message Is Death, wins a Golden Lion prize at the Venice Biennale.
May 19: Fans debate the final season of Game of Thrones: What was up with that coffee cup?
May 19: Philanthropist Robert F. Smith vows to erase the student debt of Morehouse's class of 2019: “We're going to put a little fuel in your bus.”
May 23: Lingerie and makeup mogul Rihanna unveils the debut collection for Fenty, her LVMH-backed fashion house. (Work!)
June 30: Fifty years after the Stonewall riots, NYC commemorates LGBTQ+ history at WorldPride 2019.
May 12: Now that our political reality is stranger than fiction, Veep comes to a close after seven seasons.
May 30: Kawhi Leonard and Drake star in the NBA Finals.
June 23: Lizzo “fucks up the flute” (her words), performing a virtuosic solo while twerking at the BET Awards.
June 6: Model Nathan Westling makes his Fashion Week debut after coming out as a transgender man, walking for the likes of Prada and Michael Kors.
June 26: The New Museum reveals plans to get newer—and two times larger—with a building designed by Rem Koolhaas's firm.
June 16: Zendaya, as a queer recovering-opioid-addict high schooler, shocks and titillates boomer America in Drake-produced Euphoria.
June 19: Testifying to Congress on Juneteenth, the writer Ta-Nehisi Coates makes a timely case for reparations for slavery.
June 30: Scooter Braun acquires Taylor Swift's masters; gallons of tea gets spilled in the resulting public feud.
July 26: Once Upon a Time…in Hollywood proves that the arty blockbuster still has a place in a post-Weinstein world.
July 30: The first time they face off in the Democratic debates, Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren are surprisingly united. But who are all those other suits onstage?
July 9: The memoir Dapper Dan: Made in Harlem chronicles the self-invention of the man who fused hip-hop with high fashion.
July 17: Americans age themselves on FaceApp. Then panic: Are we sending countless selfies to a Russian data firm?
July 1: Members of Congress visit the border and find detention center conditions that “shocked us,” in the words of Representative Joaquin Castro.
July 24: Robert Mueller testifies; the dreams of the Resistance wither.
August 9: “Hot Girl Summer” drops, unifying the country around the concept that Megan Thee Stallion is a bad b*tch.
August 19: Billie Eilish becomes the first artist born in the 21st century to top the Billboard Hot 100.
July 4: The kids from Stranger Things grow up. Audiences can't get enough of the notion that the Reagan era was supernatural.
July 1: Team Coco: 15-year-old Coco Gauff upsets her idol, 39-year-old Venus Williams, at Wimbledon.
August 26: With a new Netflix special, Dave Chappelle leads backlash to “cancel culture”—and garners plenty of backlash himself.
August 2: A$AP Rocky is freed from Swedish jail; promptly ghosts a new fan, President Trump, upon his return.
September 25: As lawmakers weigh vape bans, Juul pulls advertisements and the CEO steps down.
August 8 & 12: Fast food becomes America's hottest culinary trend, thanks to Burger King's meatless Impossible Whopper and Popeyes' viral chicken sandwich.
August 14: Liverpool wins the UEFA Super Cup in a penalty shoot-out.
August 14: The New York Times Magazine launches “The 1619 Project” to mark the 400th anniversary of the arrival of enslaved Africans in Jamestown.
September 29: Sarah Snook, as Shiv Roy, channels all of her duplicitous ambition into wearing a backless turtleneck on season two of Succession.
September 23: Über-activist Greta Thunberg visits the U.N. and shames the most powerful adults in the world for relying on kids to save the planet.
September 29: Sprinter Allyson Felix breaks Usain Bolt's record for the most gold medals at the World Championships—just 10 months after giving birth.
October 16: President Trump tweets a photo of Nancy Pelosi confronting him in the midst of what she called a “meltdown,” leading many to praise the image's “classical composition.”
August 23: In a pact signed days before the G7, brands from Chanel to H&M commit to follow new environmental guidelines. Chic!
September 30: Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin have a streetwear wedding to celebrate the ultimate collab: their marriage.
October 25: Kanye West's ninth album, Jesus Is King, finally drops after multiple delays. The angels—and legions of hypebeasts—sing.
September 19: Photos and video surface of Justin Trudeau wearing blackface. He wins re-election anyway.
September 23: Yas, queen: Queer Eye hair master and self-love advocate Jonathan Van Ness bravely comes out as HIV-positive in his memoir, Over the Top.
September 18: The creator of the labradoodle says that the highly popular breed—which launched the current craze for designer dogs—is a “Frankenstein monster” and his “life's regret.”
September 8: Luxury fashion arrives on the football field: Cleveland's Odell Beckham Jr. risks a fine to wear his almost $200,000 Richard Mille wristwatch.
September 6: White Claw is the law: Memes prompt a run on the hard-seltzer supply; the brand confirms a national shortage.
September 22: Phoebe Waller-Bridge wins three Emmys for Fleabag; is stoked “a dirty, pervy, angry, messed-up woman” can win big.
September 20: Thousands of people head to the Nevada desert to “Storm Area 51,” inspired by a meme. No alien sightings are reported.
October 12: While you were skipping leg day, Kenya's Eliud Kipchoge was running a sub-two-hour marathon in Vienna.
September 23: Americans are forced to watch Sean Spicer tango on Dancing With the Stars—proof that there is no such thing as justice.
October 4: The much hyped Joker gets mixed reviews. The film's biggest scene-stealer—a Bronx stairway—becomes a hot selfie spot.
October 6: Jeremy O. Harris's Slave Play opens on Broadway and promptly becomes one of the hottest tickets in town.
October 5: Simone Biles lands two never-before-seen moves in women's competition; they'll now be known as “the Biles” and “the Biles II.”
December 25: After a wild off-season, the NBA stages a Christmas Day showdown: LeBron vs. Kawhi and Harden vs. Curry.
November 15: The Age of Adam Driver is upon us: The actor appears in three biggies (Marriage Story, The Report, and a little space opera called Star Wars).
December 13: The gems? Fully uncut! The new Adam Sandler-fronted Safdie brothers film sets a new standard for anxiety cinema and drives us to a wardrobe of leather blazers.
Originally Appeared on GQ
