A Gleeful Colbert Must Know: “Who Did Sean Hannity Have Sex With?!”

What had Stephen Colbert curled up in a leather chair with a glass of wine looking particularly ecstatic Monday night? Obviously, it was the news that Sean Hannity happens to be Trump lawyer Michael Cohen’s secret third client. The Fox News host spent the past several months vehemently defending Cohen, without ever disclosing that he had worked with the attorney himself—which leads us to Monday night, with Colbert in that chair, feeling so gleeful that he told his former Comedy Central colleague Jon Stewart on air, “After the show, I’m gonna come over and we’re just gonna spoon.”

“This is crazy!” Colbert continued. “Cohen only has two other clients, and all he does for them is pay off mistresses! Which raises the obvious question . . . who did Sean Hannity have sex with?!”

Perhaps a more important question in the grand scheme of things? “How did Fox News let him go on the air with this massive conflict of interest?” Colbert wondered. “Did he not tell them, or did he tell them and they just ignored it? I’m gonna go with the first one. Because I know Sean Hannity, and delivering factual information is not his strong suit.”

Naturally, Colbert wasn’t the only late-night comedian reveling in the Hannity-Cohen connection. Trevor Noah also took a moment on The Daily Show to look into the sky and whisper a quick “thank you.”

“You know right now Sean Hannity’s probably on the phone with his wife like, ‘Hey honey, it’s so weird how I used the guy who pays off mistresses to get me out of that parking ticket,’” Noah quipped.

Like Colbert, Noah focused on the shockingly unethical nature of Hannity, who has been reporting on the Cohen story from the beginning without ever acknowledging his own Cohen connection. “Which, even for Sean Hannity, is pretty shady,” Noah said. “I mean, even Instagram models have higher ethical standards.”

Hannity, meanwhile, attempted to clarify matters on Twitter, claiming that he has never worked with Cohen in any official capacity. He wrote, in part, “Michael Cohen has never represented me in any matter. I never retained him, received an invoice, or paid legal fees. I have occasionally had brief discussions with him about legal questions about which I wanted his input and perspective.”

“Isn’t that interesting,” Jimmy Kimmel said, “that he would need advice from Michael Cohen?” As for Hannity’s assertion that he never paid Cohen for any service, the comedian added, “I’m thinking of hiring Michael Cohen as my lawyer—because he only has three clients, and apparently he works for free. He doesn’t take money from anybody.”

“If this is the biggest witch hunt in history, as they say it is,” Kimmel added, “we’re running out of spots on the broomstick.”

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