Girls as Young as 5 Think Boys Are Taken More Seriously, New Report Finds

A new study from the LEGO Group has sobering statistics. Here's what parents can do.

Fact checked by Sarah Scott

Make no mistake—women have come a long way—Kamala Harris is the Vice President of the United States, and that’s just one example. However, a new study conducted by LEGO highlights that we still have work to do in breaking down gender stereotypes and raising confident humans. The study, published in March 2024, involved more than 61,000 parents and children ages 5-12 from 36 different countries.

It found that more than 3 in 5 girls felt pressured by society’s messages of perfection, and two-thirds of all girls said they were often too worried to share their ideas. Parents have noticed: More than three-quarters (76%) felt that girls were more inclined than boys to be hesitant to develop ideas because of pressure to be perfect.

Words are a big part of it. The report finds society is seven times more likely to use terms “pretty” and “sweet” when talking to girls but “brave,” “genius,” and “innovative” when talking to boys.

“Reports like the LEGO Group's are so important because they truly show that the language adults use matters,” says Amy Morin, LCSW, a psychotherapist and author who partnered with LEGO. “We can take this information and create positive change to ensure we aren’t stifling girls’ creativity moving forward.”

The findings can feel defeating, given the work many parents and influential women—like Simone Biles, Megan Rapinoe, Beyonce, and Taylor Swift—have put into empowering girls. Why is this still happening, and what else can we do? Experts explain.

What the LEGO Report Tells Us

Why do girls still feel so much pressure and hesitancy to share their ideas? One expert says there’s a better question: Why wouldn’t they feel that way?

“This is a normative experience for females,” says Erisa M. Preston, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist and regional psychotherapy director with Mindpath Health in California. “Society doesn’t treat young girls in one way and then drastically change once they hit adolescence and adulthood. The problems women encounter scale in intensity as we age.”

Again, this can sound discouraging, given the effort put into changing these norms. However, change takes time—and involves multiple touchpoints.

“There are still generational cycles, societal and media, that continue to promote or influence gender stereotypes,” says Abbey Sangmeister, a licensed therapist, burnout coach, and founder of Evolving Whole. “There is still the pressure that girls are supposed to act and behave in certain ways, such as being quiet, polite, and reserved. It is often expected that boys will be messy, advanced, competitive, and creative.”

Some of the pressure comes from subtle messaging, like the types of toys and clothes kids unwrap on birthdays and holidays.

“Boys are conditioned to play with action figures and be active versus girls are conditioned to play with dolls and be sweet and wear pretty clothing,” says Kristen Delventhal, LCSW, PMH-C, the assistant clinical director of A Work of Heart, a counseling and wellness company. “We are teaching them to be valued for these attributes. I think parents are increasingly challenging this over time, but it’s hard to shift this in our culture.”

People don’t just think about it when they’re around children (or making purchases). They say the quiet parts out loud, as the study indicates.

“Boys may be praised for being bold and taking risks while girls are more likely to receive praise for being polite, nurturing, and playing it safe–which may curb creativity,” Morin says.

"Boys may be praised for being bold and taking risks while girls are more likely to receive praise for being polite, nurturing, and playing it safe–which may curb creativity.
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Amy Morin, LCSW

Curbing creativity is one of the potential short and long-term harms these gendered messages send.

“This can be disempowering for girls if they perceive that their efforts are less likely to be rewarded than similar efforts by male peers,” Dr. Preston says. “The world does not treat men and women equally, but learning about that inequality at a young age can be discouraging for people with less resiliency or less belief in their ability to overcome obstacles.”

Delventhal is particularly concerned about long-term mental health impacts.

“Perfectionism goes hand in hand with feeling anxious and puts girls at risk for future challenges down the road, including anxiety-related disorders, mood disorders, and eating disorders,” Delventhal says. “We see more and more girls struggling with these needs in adolescence. Also, we create young women who prioritize their appearance and validation over many other strengths and talents.”

What Parents Can Do

You may be trying and doing all of the below. Remember, change isn’t just up to parents.

“As a community, and in the media, the focus on creative endeavors, breaking barriers, redefining success and gender norms, and representing women based on their success and challenges they have overcome would instill these values in girls,” Sangmeister says.

But the below tips may give you some ideas—or validation.

Catch your own bias

Gender bias can be unconscious and challenging to spot, even in ourselves. However, be on the lookout for examples of internalized gender bias, which can happen to anyone, such as language and clothing choices.

“Recognize your own internalized bias around gender so you can speak to your children without influencing them to believe the data we are seeing,” Delventhal says. "When we acknowledge and intentionally work on managing this bias, we can help our children greatly.”

Use gender-neutral language when discussing careers

Many of us grew up hearing about firemen and policemen. Morin suggests using gender-neutral language that avoids implying that only men hold specific jobs.

“Instead of saying, ‘fireman,’ say, ‘firefighter,’ so it’s more gender neutral,” Morin says.

Discuss and validate dreams

What does your daughter hope to do over the next month? Year? Long-term? Ask her—and respond with empowering words.

“Ask your girls what their dreams are and encourage them with validations about how intelligent, how capable, how skillful, and how hard-working they are,” Dr. Preston says. “Tell them that with dedication and development, they can do anything a boy can do. They need to hear that directly, not just have it implied.”

"Tell them that with dedication and development, they can do anything a boy can do. They need to hear that directly, not just have it implied."

Erisa M. Preston, PsyD

Consider how you compliment

People mean well when they tell girls that their shirt or hair is “pretty.” But Delventhal says it's vital to pivot from a hard focus on appearance.

“Compliment girls on what they are capable of showing you and doing that has nothing to do with their appearance,” she says. “Compliments about effort and skills are more meaningful and help reduce the risk of tying their appearance or passive kindness to their worth.”

Counter microaggressions with validations

You may be doing all of the above. Yet, others, including family members like grandparents, aunts, and uncles, may enter your home and say the very things you are trying to avoid. Dr. Preston calls these microaggressions—and they’re harmful.

“Don’t let the term micro fool you—a persistent pattern of aggressive words, actions, and language which imply you are less than have macro consequences,” Dr. Preston says. “Never underestimate the power that purposely counter-actions will have on your daughter.”

For instance, say someone calls your daughter pretty. This is a good response, according to Dr. Preston: "You’re right, she is—and, more importantly, she is smart and funny and so talented in music. We are so proud of her accomplishments."

Challenge stereotypes in the media

People aren’t the only ones sending messages about gender—even cartoons do.

“When you’re reading books, watching shows, or going about your daily routine, talk about how girls can do certain things too—like become astronauts, scientists, bosses, and professional athletes,” Morin says. “Make it clear that girls can be doctors and boys can be nurses.”

Sangmeister echoes these sentiments: “When watching Disney and children’s programming, have conversations around the roles and how a girl does not have to play a lesser and less empowered role."

Role model equitable attitudes at home

Parents can be a child’s first teacher, and not just from words.

“Make sure you don’t reinforce gender stereotypes in terms of household responsibilities and duties,” Morin says. “Use inclusive language. Talk about how everyone has strengths, and you can pitch in based on what you’re good at doing.”

But don’t forget: It’s not just about raising girls to feel empowered.

“Parents can challenge gender stereotypes for their boys,” Morin says. “This can include exposing boys to adults who don’t fit typical gender stereotypes.”

Use missteps as teachable moments.

“It’s also important to step in when they see boys reinforcing gender stereotypes,” Morins says. “Parents can challenge their ideas that girls need to play certain roles or can’t do certain things.”

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