Gigi Hadid Opened Up About Anxiety During Pregnancy

Gigi Hadid is opening up about the realities of pregnancy and motherhood, explaining that, like everything else, there are ups and downs.

In her August 2021 cover story for Harper’s Bazaar, Gigi revealed that she often keeps multiple journals to capture her various emotions, and that she had two specific journals that she used to document her entire pregnancy.

“I had one journal that I called my good journal and one journal that I called my bad journal,” Gigi explained. “They weren’t that literal, but one was more for the memories, for Khai. Maybe one day I’ll give her the bad journal just to be real about it.”

The model went onto explain that the “bad” journal was reserved for her anxieties and fears about not being a good enough mother. “I didn’t want to feel guilty about feeling those things or writing those things down,” Gigi explained. “I just liked the separation. I also have sketch pads where I’ll watercolor-sketch, and sometimes I end up writing there too. I write on the back of receipts and keep those in a notebook. I’m not particular about it, and my journals are everywhere around the house. I just pick up whichever one is closest to me and write.”

Gigi, who welcomed daughter Khai with Zayn Malik last September, has often been candid with fans and the public about mental health and what it’s like to be a new mom. Recently, the model posted an open letter to fans, media outlets, and paparazzi, asking them to please blur Khai’s face in photos and social media posts should she ever be photographed in public. Gigi explained that she and Zayn want Khai to choose how she shares herself with the world when she’s older, without worrying about an already-established public image over which she had no control.

“For a child, I can imagine that close or dramatic paparazzi frenzies must be overwhelming and disorienting ... it still is as an adult that understands and deals with it often,” Gigi explained, adding: “I know it's an extra effort, but as a new mom, I just want the best for my baby, as all parents do.”

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Originally Appeared on Teen Vogue