Funny Southern Sayings That Are So Good They’ll “Make You Slap Ya Mama”

Learn these funny southern sayings. Pictured: A Cowboy Taking Care of His White Horse.
Learn these funny southern sayings. Pictured: A Cowboy Taking Care of His White Horse.

If you plan on trekking down south this summer, here are some funny southern sayings you may hear or make someone smile by saying. Folks down yonder are known for their distinctive culture and lifestyle that is unique to this southern American region. The south has a complex history but consists of some of the best comfort food and good ole’ southern hospitality. No city or state is the same, from Houston, Texas to Atlanta, Georgia.

While Southern people are sometimes assumed to be slow-witted, you’ll find it actually takes a bit of creativity to come up with and understand these funny Southern sayings. Learn some of the region’s popular sayings here or see how many you know if you are a true Southerner.

41 Funny Southern Sayings and Their Meanings

  1. “Well, butter my biscuit!” This phrase is an expression of surprise or amazement, similar to saying “Well, I’ll be darned!” or “Well, I’ll be jiggered!”

  2. “As nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.” This saying describes extreme nervousness or agitation, implying that the cat’s long tail could easily get caught in the moving rocking chairs, making it very anxious.

  3. “Happier than a tornado in a trailer park.” A humorous way to express extreme happiness or contentment.

  4. “Busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest.” This means extremely busy or occupied, as you can imagine, a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest would have to work much harder to defend himself than others.

  5. “Slicker than snot on a doorknob.” This saying means something or someone is very slick or slippery.

  6. “He’s as handy as a pocket on a shirt.” Implies that someone is very useful or practical.

  7. “She’s so country, she thinks a seven-course meal is a possum and a six-pack.”  This is a humorous way to describe someone as very rustic or unsophisticated.

  8. “He’s so slow he’d have to speed up to be a snail.”

  9. “She’s so stuck up, she’d drown in a rainstorm.” This implies that someone is excessively arrogant or conceited.

  10. “He’s about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.” This phrase humorously suggests that something or someone is utterly useless.

  11. “Finer than a frog’s hair split four ways.” This expression is used to describe something or someone exceptionally fine or delicate. Since frogs don’t have hair, the idea of splitting it four ways emphasizes extreme fineness or thinness.

  12. “That boy’s as sharp as a bowling ball.” Humorously implies that someone lacks intelligence or wit.

  13. “She’s sweeter than a glass of sweet tea on a hot summer day.” This is a simile used to emphasize someone’s sweetness or pleasant demeanor.

  14. “He’s as lost as last year’s Easter egg hunt.” This phrase describes someone who is extremely lost or confused.

  15. “She’s grinning like a possum eating a sweet potato.” This saying describes someone who is grinning widely or gleefully.

  16. “He’s all hat and no cattle.” This expression describes someone who talks a big game but lacks substance or follow-through. It’s often used to criticize someone who boasts or pretends to be more capable or important than they actually are.

  17. “She’s got more nerve than a bum tooth.” This phrase means someone is very bold or audacious. A “bum tooth” would likely cause a bad toothache, so someone with “more nerve than a bum tooth” is exceptionally bold.

  18. “He’s like a dog with two tails.” This saying describes someone who is extremely happy or excited. Dogs wag their tails when they’re happy, so having two tails would mean even more happiness or excitement.

  19. “She’s so polite, she’d say ‘please’ to a mosquito.” A humorous way to emphasize someone’s extreme politeness. Mosquitoes are pesky insects that bite, but even to them, the overly polite person would say “please” as if asking them not to bite.

  20. “He’s as wild as a buck in rutting season.” This expression describes someone who is extremely wild or uncontrollable. During rutting season, male deer (bucks) are highly aggressive and unpredictable, so likening someone to a buck in rutting season implies they are similarly untamed.

  21. “She’s madder than a wet hen.” This means someone is extremely angry or upset. Hens, when wet, can become agitated and flap their wings in distress.

  22. “He’s as useless as a trap door on a canoe.” This saying implies that someone or something is entirely pointless or ineffective.

  23. “She’s happier than a tick on a fat dog.” Ticks thrive on blood, so being on a fat dog would provide plenty of sustenance and thus make them very happy.

  24. “He’s slicker than owl snot.” This means someone is exceptionally slippery or smooth in their actions or speech.

  25. “She’s grinning like a fox in a henhouse.” This expression describes someone who is grinning mischievously or slyly. A fox in a henhouse would likely be pleased with the prospect of catching chickens, hence the grin.

  26. “Bless your heart.” This phrase is often used in the South to express sympathy, pity, or sometimes even condescension. Depending on the context and tone, it can convey various emotions, from genuine concern to a subtle insult.

  27. “She’s busier than a one-legged cat in a sandbox.” This means someone is extremely busy or frenzied. A one-legged cat in a sandbox would struggle to move around and would be constantly occupied trying to maintain balance.

  28. “He’s slow as molasses in January.” Molasses is thick and viscous, especially in cold temperatures, so it flows slowly, making it a fitting metaphor for slowness.

  29. “She’s sweatin’ like a sinner in church.” A humorous comparison, as sinners in church might feel nervous or guilty, causing them to sweat.

  30. “He’s crazier than a road lizard.” Road lizards are fast-moving and erratic, so comparing someone’s behavior to that of a road lizard emphasizes their level of craziness.

  31. “That dog won’t hunt.” Expressing skepticism that something will work or be successful.

  32. “Wouldn’t walk across the street to spit on him.” Having an extremely low opinion of someone.

  33. “That’s about as likely as keepin’ a herd of bulldogs in a basement.” Indicating something is extremely unlikely or improbable.

  34. “I’m so hungry, I could eat the south end of a northbound mule.” Expressing extreme hunger.

  35. “He’s wound tighter than a doghouse banker.” Referring to someone as very high-strung or tense.

  36. “This ain’t my first rodeo.” Indicating someone is experienced at handling the current situation.

  37. “She’s got her belly cast further than she can tote it.” Saying someone has bitten off more than they can chew or taken on too much.

  38. “If he fell in a bucket of nickels, he’d come out owing money.” Describing an extremely unlucky person.

  39. “Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit!” An exclamation of surprise or amazement.

  40. “He’s about as handy as a back pocket on a shirt.” Calling someone completely useless or unhelpful.

  41. “She’s got tongues to tattle on her tongues.” Describing a chronic gossip.