These Funny and Clean Christian Jokes Can Be Enjoyed by Everyone in the Family
The idea of religion can often seem serious like fire and brimstone, but it isn’t always a straight-face matter. Religion, and Christianity specifically, is full of joyful moments of laughter and kindness. Take the Bible for example. Though recognized as the word of the Lord, filled with his commandments and teachings, it has a surprising number of Christian jokes. The Old Testament, in particular, has many sarcastic quips. You just have to keep an eye out for them.
For instance, in Genesis 4:9, “The Lord said to Cain, ‘Where is your brother Abel?’ Cain said, ‘I don’t know. Am I my brother’s guardian?’” Basically, Cain is saying, “Do I look like my brother’s babysitter?” It’s these funny moments that we wish to channel and dive into with our list of the best clean Christian jokes, puns, riddles, and one-liners.
Share these funny, church-appropriate jokes with your faithful friends, Bible study group, or Christian parents for a round of giggles (and maybe a few groans).
For more Christian content, check out our articles on the best Christian books everyone should read, powerful Christian quotes to inspire you on good days and bad, and Christian and faith-based movies on Netflix.
1. How does Moses make his coffee?
Hebrews it.
2. How long did Cain dislike his brother?
As long as he was Abel.
3. Why didn't Noah go fishing?
He only had two worms.
4. What is the best way to study the Bible?
You Luke into it.
5. How do you know that atoms are Catholic?
They have Mass.
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6. What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A roamin' Catholic.
7. Why did the priest giggle during his homily?
He had Mass hysteria.
8. What do you call a priest who becomes a lawyer?
A father-in-law.
9. Why did the sponge go to church?
It was hole-y.
10. What did God do to cure Moses' headache?
He gave him two tablets.
11. What did Moses say when he saw people worshipping the golden calf?
Holy cow!
12. What do you call a Catholic service that's especially important?
A critical Mass.
13. Where is the best place to get an ice cream cone?
Sundae School.
14. What is a mathematician's favorite book of the Bible?
Numbers.
15. Why couldn't they play cards on the Ark?
Noah was always standing on the deck.
16. What time of day was Adam created?
A little before Eve.
17. What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve!
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18. What type of lights did Noah have on the Ark?
Floodlights.
19. Why couldn't Jonah trust the ocean?
He knew there was something fishy about it.
20. Where was Solomon's temple located?
On the side of his head.
21. Why is Abraham considered the smartest person in the Bible?
He knew a Lot.
22. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?
Ruthless.
23. Why did the unemployed person get excited while reading the Bible?
They thought they saw a Job.
24. What type of car would Jesus drive?
A Christler.
25. Why is Adam considered the fastest person in the Bible?
He came first in the human race.
26. How do you make Holy Water?
You take some regular water, and boil the devil out of it.
27. What do donkeys send out around Christmastime?
Mule-tide greetings.
28. Why did Samson try to avoid arguing with Delilah?
He didn't want to split hairs.
29. Why did the hawk sit on the church steeple?
It was a bird of pray.
30. Which area of the Promised Land was especially wealthy?
The area around the Jordan where the banks kept overflowing.
31. Why is Samson considered the best comedian in the Bible?
He brought the house down.
32. Why wouldn’t the Pharaoh let the Hebrews go?
He was in 'de Nile.
33. What is a salesman’s favorite Scripture passage?
The Great Commission.
34. What is a missionary’s favorite kind of car?
A convertible.
35. Why is Moses considered the biggest rebel in the Bible?
He broke all Ten Commandments at once.
36. What do they call pastors in Germany?
German Shepherds.
37. Why is Swiss considered the most religious type of cheese?
It's hole-y.
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38. Who is the patron saint of poverty?
Saint Nickeless.
39. What is a dentist's favorite hymn?
"Crown Him With Many Crowns."
40. Why did Noah have to punish the chickens on the Ark?
They were using fowl language.
41. Why is David considered the best babysitter in the Bible?
He rocked Goliath to sleep.
42. How do we know Peter was a successful fisherman?
By his net income.
43. What animal could Noah not trust?
Cheetahs.
44. Which Bible character is a locksmith?
Zaccheus.
45. Why did Moses cross the Red Sea?
To get to the other side.
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